I've been in several conversations/discussions and I realized every woman had her own definition of "mommy's boy". What is yours? What is your experience? Any chart placement?
My brother was definitely mommy's boy until he got himself another "mother". My mom always protected him from any housework, and she was doing everything instead of him. When she couldn't, she made me do it. I had to cook, clean, and wash for him, tho he was perfectly okay to do it by himself. I rebelled many times, but then there was my mom's emotional manipulation: okay, don't do it, I will do everything when you won't help. One of my exes was also mommy's boy but in a different way. his mother was deciding about everything in his life, our bed was included too.
In my world, a man who prioritizes his mother over his partner belongs to his mom.
I can relate a little 🙂 I wouldn't call my fiancé a momma's boy though - he has a great relationship with his mom and she will pamper him sometimes (make him something to eat and whatnot) but not to the point where it's detrimental. He still lives at home, but he's still self-sufficient in almost every regard except for paying rent LOL... I guess that's kind of a big thing to not be responsible for at his age (35). We're looking at houses but now that idea is going down the tubes with interest rates going up
ive never dated or married momma's boys, except for mayyyyybeee my husband, (he's a little bit but has admitted his mother is cold and not warm person, but she's giving and helpful and supportive but still cold) not a huggy person and you dont feel warmth from her. i guess i never dated momma's boys because i subconsiciously dont want to deal with the mother and fight and argue over her boy. it's exhausting and i have no time to stress over that. maybe. but maybe it's just something we subconsciously gravitate to. but i have learned that it's good to be dating or marry a man who loves his mother and respects her, that means he respects and loves women (in general) of course there are weird cases. lol
in this world there's all kinds of strange things.
and from what i read of your boyfriend since he doesn't pay rent and bills, is that to go outside that " comfort" zone, is suffering and hard work. It's too much and the stress probably gives him hives (just guessing of course) and it's FEAR. what if and what if that... so the fear alone seems to make him paralyze and not go outside that comfort relaxing zone. it might be something that will happen until his parents retire and pass away and you and him will inherit the house and he is still in his comfort zone.
Dear @sophiab and @elisa, thank you for your answers and points of view ❤️ I'm not sure yet what I will do, part something inside says to stay. Maybe it's a wrong intuition, but I'll give it a go for a while. I'm already trying to give him perspective on how it would be great to have a life together. I believe you can have it all, and nothing needs to be ruled out just because you don't live in your comfort zone anymore. I'm a person who also loves her freedom and I respect him too, so he won't be losing that if he comes to live with me. He can still have his family, friends, home, anything, but due to his astrology placements, I also think that Mars Libra is having a hard time deciding and being a go-getter. I'm a go-getter. Sometimes I need some push, but I get what I want and what makes me happy. For years I was living other people's wishes, I was a people pleaser, but now I feel finally my time to be happy has come and I would very much like to be with him. But... what is bugging me, does he feel the same? In theory, he loves it, but in pratice, he does nothing. I don't know for how long he thinks we can go like this. We've been together for almost 4 years and I don't want to convince him to live with me, he needs to feel it and wants it. My mom always told me: that you can't make anyone love or want you. And that's why I am seeking help and support here because I really need it, I'm seeking an explanation because I don't quite understand him. As I said, he loves theory but does nothing in reality. I can go like that for a while, but if something doesn't change, I will have to try to find happiness somewhere else, because I can feel this weighs on me and that waiting for him to decide, makes me sad and unhappy. I was unhappy a lot, I want to be happy again. @sophiab I'm counting too and I'm already feeling I'm stronger than a year ago and whatever happens, I know I will get out of it stronger
Seems your man does not like change, is stubborn and stuck in his ways.
In my opinion after 4 years he will not create a life with you, and make you guys fully know. That he may never will
When a man wants something he makes it happen. No questions.
Seems he has some form of hesitation... what does he tell you when you bring these things up?
If I were in your shoes I would tell him shit or get off the pot. you do not want to waste more time with someone who cannot fully commit 100%
You deserve to be shown off, given what you give back.
Life it so short to settle
I wish you luck. Maybe have a firm conversation...possibly with an ultimatum.
If he wont fight for you. there is your answer