Libra & Manners For Good Or Ill
I think it's bad manners to not take no for an answer. I am referencing this thread:
But manners have become very complicated in my world. I have Libra and I care about manners. I was raised without them but I have tried to acquire them all my life.
I wouldn't know this if, satori, had not pointed it out to me one day. But she was right back then - I was raised in a barn, as they say, but I have tried really hard to be decent.
With Jupiter strong, I tend to go native fast, as I like to say. I'm mutable so I can do this pretty easily but I also have Capricorn so there are limits or lines I am not going to cross no matter what the group is doing.
Anyway, I live in the south now and people here do tend to have manners. Really, it's night and day from Colorado which is actually a pretty cold place.
Having good manners is something that is respected around here. If you can't manage this, you should at least be nice. If you can't manage that, the people with good manners will let it go because that's what a socially graceful person can and will do.
Now I don't think that bad manners is a age-related thing. I do think there are regional differences. So here's an example of the the total confusion... for Libra, which is largely a people-pleasing sign.
If you don't address people, sir or ma'am, here, people notice. They just know you weren't raised around here, basically. They also know you're not interested in adapting to fit in, which is your (God given) right. Personally, I adapted.
It was not easy. I have never worked anywhere or lived anywhere where this was normal. I felt a bit stupid at first but at this point... like seven or eight years later, I do use these terms, frequently. But what if I call, Colorado?
It's possible to call someone ma'am or sir and have them get super pissed. Not the gender thing... this comes in front of that. They just really don't like it.
Now I know some people around here don't care if you don't like it. They are going to do like their mama taught them... which frankly, I respect. But there's an obvious rudeness to that as well. See the problem?
There is another insane thing, called "please and thank you". Some people use these words and would never think of not using them. In some populations, they seem to have been omitted.
Example, someone pays me... I respond, "Thank you." I do this to express my gratitude but also to let them know I got the payment... it arrives.
Now this may be age-related, I think some people feel this is an unnecessary step. Like they know you got it because they sent it and now you are cluttering their inbox? I'm not sure.
But I am sure of this: given a choice, I prefer people with good manners and I flat out admire people with GREAT manners. I am surrounded by people like this which is sweet, I'm telling you.
I am writing this today because I went to town and it's kind of grim. Prices are high and people are stressed. You can see the fraying in some cases but I see other people - some known to be very polite - who are going overboard trying to be particularly kind and helpful and cheerful. I'm talking about people who work in the grocery store, for example. It's really sweet to see. It's moving. It fills me with gratitude and inspires me to continue to try to improve my manners... a life-long challenge in my case.
So you compare this to the person in the other thread, badgering the hell out of me... well you see why I prefer this.
What do you prefer? Do you ever see things like this? Do you consider yourself to be polite? Rude? It doesn't matter?
I'm really curious.
I wanted to add something...
The people who are being extra nice; I want to share my impression of that. I feel they feel that people are down and one thing you don't do is kick a person when they're down. Right now, people are down, so don't kick them?
I think this is one of the more ghastly things you can do but it's something else I see large swaths of people ignore.
I also want to note why I posted this outside of just enjoying discourse and different points of view. I am writing this for anyone out there like me... meaning you were raised badly and you know it. We don't exactly have "Emily Post" anymore or "Miss Manners", both sources I exhausted when I was a teenager or in my early 20's. This mattered to me, see?
So if it matters to you and you know you need help, maybe something someone says here will help you acquire new skills or a better understanding.
I struggle with manners but I’m slowly learning. Libra North Node.
With that said, what do y’all think about what this guy said?
I was raised by a foofoo lady who was raised by a foofoo lady from Texas. There was this complex criteria of do’s and don’ts that I don’t think I ever fully grasped but I tried. My mom showed distaste often for what she would call “tacky” behavior. That was like the worst thing you could do as her child was do something “tacky”. But there are lots of people that are very tacky in her opinion. People who I think are cool she calls tacky so who the f knows lol. That word is actually way too loaded with triggers for me lol, because there was actual shame attached. It didn’t really seem to be about respect for the other person (although it was on the outside) but presenting some kind of image. Maybe that’s what that guy was talking about?
Im actually amazed at how much of her teaching I’ve actually integrated and passed on to my own son but for me it’s more about taking the other persons comfort level into account. I had a friend who called it “home training”- having basic manners. I liked that term.
I love good manners. Even watching someone behaving rude, makes me feel uncomfortable.
I blame my Mars in Libra, and Mercury Sextile Venus for it.
@Elsa It sounds like a Venus signature in operation. With strong Venus, either Libra or Taurus (and I suspect if there is an angular Venus), I think there is an inbuilt need to be Venusian. If Mercury has Venus qualities or contact to Venus by aspect, also hard to not imbue Venusian desire for harmony and pleasure in interaction. It's probably a sign of being a goddess, an earthly one!