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How Important Is Forgiveness?

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Elsa
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I've had this kicking around in my head for weeks... months, actually. I've noticed there are people, really, really good people, people I know personally who just can't forgive. They cannot do it!

I am a person who can forgive so for a real and personal example, I forgave my daughter. I did this instantly though there are people in my life who would have advised against it. I say, "would have" because I didn't ask. I didn't have to ask. I will always forgive my daughter... my kids, there is no question it could ever go another way.

Compare to someone I know who cannot forgive their daughter.  They just really cannot do it. I went as far as to tell this gal, one day she might find herself before God, asking for forgiveness. "Well, what if He says, why didn't you forgive your daughter?"

She is a religious person (very) which is part of the point I am trying to make. When I say, CAN'T, it's exactly what I mean. She CANNOT do it.

Consequently, her pain is endless. Other people's too, I'm sure but I am talking about people who forgive and people who can't.

After mulling this and watching people and listening to them, I am ready to declare, this really is a big deal.  I am convinced that being a forgiving person is a huge gift. I don't have these nagging dark things to hang off me or to be drug around.  And I know this woman, see. Scorpio. And I know her character is exceptional. But because of this one thing, she weighed down and it hurts me to know this.

Thoughts?

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Tam
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I can forgive, a person is hurting themselves plus blocking a blessing. I'm mutable though, 6 planets

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Elsa
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@tam Thank you! You just reminded me of the other thing swimming in my head. I want these things cleared! New thread!

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Opalina
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I admit I struggle with forgiveness. Some days I think yes..I am there I can forgive.Then something will trigger a memory and I get angry all over again. Betrayal is so difficult to forgive for me.

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la_sirena
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I’m forgiving to a fault. I’m a double Pisces. Transcendence is practically my middle name. That doesn’t mean that I don’t fight or defend myself if someone is doing me wrong, I have Aries too. But my nature is to forgive and (almost) forget. I say almost because I can recall something if I feel like it but I tend to let bygones be bygones. 

Like Opalina, things come back to me and I’ll have to do some more processing but it always comes back to transcendence again.

And it’s hard for me to forgive as something is happening, it’s usually quite a while after.

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DarkAquarian
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Seems one has to see the detestable qualities within themselves, and then forgive themselves, in order to forgive others. Or at the least, know that unwanted characteristics live within them.

Much of these sorts of attitudes are projections.

I know some people who CANNOT forgive others as well, no matter what. They have their own underlying issues which they ignore or push away.

Compassion appears parallel to forgiveness too.

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Elsa
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@darkaquarian I agree. It's got to be some kind of defense. But it requires you to hold on to pain... deep, deep, deep, excruciating pain.

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CocoPeaches
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@darkaquarian @elsa I agree with both of you. I think it's self-preservation in overdrive. It's not wanting to rip off the band-aid, and allowing a deep infected wound to fester underneath the false cover. Holding on to pain because it is familiar, and fearing the unknown realm of healing and compassion.

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aspire
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I can forgive others but I have a hard time forgiving myself. It is still the same thing: choosing to hold on to pain.  

The Course in Miracles is hammering on this point so I am finally seeing how it serves exactly nobody to do this. I have been able to drop it lately when it pops up. Love pours in! 

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