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Getting Divorced In Your Fifties

Elsa
Posts: 2012
 Elsa
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(@elsa)
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Joined: 19 years ago

I'm sure there are exceptions, but I always feel extremely sad when I see someone divorce in their fifties. Is it just me?

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shortpants
Posts: 72
(@shortpants)
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Joined: 15 years ago

My parents divorced in their 60's, and I have to say that both of them are better for it. Honestly they should have divorced a long time ago. I hope I never have a marriage like theirs, so full of poison and resentment.So I don't know. I want to get married only once in my lifetime, but that hasn't happened yet -- though I'm hopeful it will.

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soup
Posts: 486
 soup
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Joined: 12 years ago

I have to agree.

But, unfortunately I think its worse on the woman than it is the man. Men marry younger women and are usually financially stable and able to provide for a young woman who would be happy to have that stability.

My ex husband divorced 2 or so years ago. He married my children's step mother twice. It was a nightmare to watch. He started seeing her when she was 19 and he was near 35. (he and I were a year apart ~ he one year older) I told him when he got close to marriage she would never stay and he accused me of being jealous. (ha ha ha ~ Pa-lease uggg) (I would have sold him at auction if I could have)

Anyway she cheated so many times. First time they divorced she ran off with a Oral surgeon but when he found out how much he would have to give his soon to be ex wife he went back to his soon to be ex wife and dumped her. The ex and she got back together. 2-3 years ago she left again and is to marry a Orthopedic surgeon this summer. My ex is 57 years old and he is alone. Trying to date. Its so sad. Kids said they were staying in one of his spare rooms and accidently found a drawer full of Viagra... poor old dude has to take a pill to do the wild thing!

He is dating younger women and that would be fine but he has to be careful because he is loaded and they can see all the money ... its obvious looking at his business, home, cars, in ground pool, boats... he has it all as far as material possessions go, but nothing in his heart. Plus, he drinks too much and he is a dick...so there is that.

Still even so, he is my kids father and while years ago I wanted to slap the living cat shit out of him....(or much worse believe me) I don't like to see the nightmare he has been living for the last 25 years. He has been used, cheated on, lied to and had a lot of his income taken more than once. Its very sad to see him out there flapping around at his age......

Which leads me to this.... my husband is acting like he has lost his fucking mind. I can almost hardly stand to live with him right now. He is absolutely horrible but not in the way someone hits you, or cheats on you, or had addictions or gambles....... he is just so STRANGE...and moody and weird.....but, Pluto is almost exactly conjunct his moon right now and Saturn conjunct his Neptune.

He feels like shit. He is trying really hard to lose weight and has lost 30 lbs...but he is crabby as hell. And locked away in a world of his own. He isn't mean to me....but he isn't anything at all right now. 10 years ago I would have been OUT of here. Let's just say (as Elsa says) passive aggressive is the worst kind of aggressive. And I have had enough of his bullshit!!! I'm sick, I am working with one hand and a knee injury and he has his head straight up his ass.

If I were 35 years old he would be looking for me.... I have about had all his bullshit I can stand! I have my own hideous transits I am trying to deal with right now, first being trying to deal with Saturn who is for whatever reason trying to put me out of commission (health wise)

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(@magiczara)
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Joined: 11 years ago

My opinion of this will always be colored by my parents' divorce. My father is better off for it. He is in a relationship that allows him more freedom. With his strong Uranian signature, he simply is not cut out for a traditional marriage. He has to rebel in some way. I think he profoundly resented the pressure to be the breadwinner. My mother was a wreck for about 10 years afterward, but now she's better. She doesn't drink anymore, for instance. 

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(@candela)
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Joined: 14 years ago

All these stories of men running away with younger women and leaving women with nothing/miserable alimony make me realize just how far ahead we are in gender equality here in the Nordic Countries even compared to The States. Especially with people born in the 1950's and 1960's. I think that in a certain sense, we've backlashed from the situation in the 1980's and 1990's. Because I basically, maybe 2 out of 3  divorces I know in this age group have been initiated by women who have their own income, and statistics agree. They are also generally speaking reporting being happier than men after they divorce, most likely because while working, they haven't been as career oriented. They keep closer contacts to adult children and have friends outside worklife. Men have worked, and know their career has peaked. Also, men's heavy drinking is an issue in at least half of these divorces. These men are working, but spend too much of their free time drunk. There aren't many women wanting them.

Successful men divorcing their wives and marrying  younger women happens more in the 40's. Sometimes in the late 30's for women, so often both parties are still in time to start a new family. Yes, my generation, and I always feel worse for these divorces, because the children are still small.

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Posts: 18
(@arieschick)
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Joined: 12 years ago

It's always sad when someone divorces, but there is a bright side: more men for me!  I just wish they'd divorce earlier before meeting me.  I want them to recover financially and emotionally before we meet.  Let them have play time and then later be willing to remarry.

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