Extremely emotional problem
I respect people's time and energy and understand the busyness of life, this person is affecting my life and self esteem, everything is nothing for him, he will never stop and I feel its emotional abuse from hi.
My father turned 66 and since Jan 2020 he has been like this. Just complains and argues.
He has two major bank account savings,
He gets two private pensions every month,
He gets £70 a week from me on top of his private pensions,
He gets an extra £30 a week which he lied to me
He will get contributions from me in the future,
He has his mortgage paid off,
He got paid child benefit for me and my sister for 18 years,
I do all the chores, chase this, that, do this that, take him places on my day off, more////////
I've helped him way too much in the past
He complained a long time clean my bedroom, throw the books on the bookshelf away,
He say chuck the stuff in the garage away
He tells me to clean 1cm of soup away
He was very brutal and regimtened every day off all he did was complain
Arguing about putting cooking oil anyway
He keeps complaining about the motor oil leak from me car which there hasn't been a spot on the floor for 3 weeks,
He complains about money and bills when bills comes every 3 months
He says why don't I clean the car and I can't do nothing and complaining a lot
He could watch TV, go to a spiritual church, take a walk, this man is ridiculously negative now
He doesn't listen
He doesn't listen to me developing something, he doesn't listen to me going abroad
He doesn't listen and I don't have to get married, I can have a gf
He doesn't listen and he seems he wants to please others
He gives the power away to relatives
He doesn't even say nothing even when asked, I've got to live 40 years of life, he should be more prudent then this
I wonder why this attitude, taking away someone's liberties, I do too much for him
He doesn't pay for petrol, car tax, insurance or telephone bill
This guy Is set for life and got financial protection from me and he still complains, he gets £100 more than the average pensioner, he gets a massive financial help from me and government and while many many do not, in this fortunate position all he can do is complain
Complains today about me not listening to him, didn't I just do everything, look on the internet for insurance do this and that yesterday?
Complains about this and that. I listened to many t i gs yesterday then he says no listen to him today
He tells me what to do then he says oth
er children listen,
Hi, I'm sorry you are going through this. It can be very hard emotionally and mentally to have such a relationship with your parent and I feel for you and the situation you are in. Do you still live with him? Or do you have a place on your own?
Thank you for your reply Dori
I still live with him, however quite clearly financially he is well off and he has got everything catered. He needs to take responsibility for himself.
I've got a long term job.
If I move out, it's more costs. However I feel he is controlling me and maybe wishing me to sacrifice which I understand his loneliness, however it's going to affect someone mentally.
I will have to move out.
I'm sorry but if you don't like him, move. You're an adult, right? It doesn't matter how much money he has. It's incumbent upon you to make your way.
"He needs to take responsibility for himself."
This is a pure projection. If you pay for your own home ie take responsibility for your life, you will have your independence and your father will no longer be able to annoy you.
"If I move out, it's more costs."
Cost of freedom!
Life is too short to live in a miserable situation.
It may cost more but you're peace is worth the price.
He will find his way.... he takes no responsibility because you do things for him.
Dont enable him any longer...
It sounds like your Dad's struggling with some deep depression. He has a Scorpio moon natally which can be quite painful to live with and I also noticed he has Saturn in Scorpio Square Pluto in Leo, with his Sun also close by. Saturn Pluto squares are tough. And Saturn in Scorpio can mean the person's taken some emotional losses in their time. He has financial resources but its not enough to counteract the emotional issues and likely grief that's plaguing him.
If you consider transits, he's had Saturn going through his 4th house opposing his Leo stuff and squaring his Scorpio... You mentioned January 2020, this is when Saturn first entered Aquarius. It will depart for Pisces beginning of March 2023, so that t-square it's making in his chart will break up, less tension and pressure to his fixed planets. Saturn in 4th can be a bit bleak, he needs to rebuild his life but is maybe being pulled down or has lost confidence from his previous losses. Also Pluto transiting his 3rd may also affect his thinking in a negative way. He may be afraid of change and although he's picking on you, he may be really afraid of losing you. Also, have to say, Pluto in Leo generation can be entitled and it's hard to understand them when some have so much materially, but they also can have quite fragile egos and thus fears.
It's hard with family, because we get entangled with them and feel guilty easily, but you should try to cut free now. It might actually help him to shift his life too. Just let him know you're not disappearing but you need space. It'll be hard but if you stay focused you will benefit longterm.