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Cancer men and mind games

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BellaDonna
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I saw a post here about pissing off mommy games but it was mostly about his Aqua moon shocking.. but I don't know this Cancer man's chart, so no idea the moon...

there's a Cancer man I was interested in this summer but it fell flat eventually after starting off strong because of his weird communication and his half-ass move making. ie, asking when are we gonna meet but never setting a plan or date. *rolls eyes*

Now, I am a Taurus with Pluto Rising in Scorpio so I've attracted and have been attracted to many Cancer men — I am attuned to their weird timing. 

I left town for almost two months and when I came back I had a new acct and so we crossed paths again. Now he has been contacting me but the communication is so weird AGAIN, and while I am really attracted to him, I can't tell if he's being a timid cancer with weird communication style or he's playing games. Either way all my Aries including moon is over it. 

Any one else experience this with Cancer men? Were they simply shy, manipulative/playing games for attention, both or what?

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Posted by: @belladonna

asking when are we gonna meet but never setting a plan or date. *rolls eyes*

I really feel this is a universal feature of an unavailable man and not a cancer man particularly. 

I am a cancer sun... female. So yeah I tend to be manipulative but mostly because I try to avoid direct confrontation. Practicing to be direct. 

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BellaDonna
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Posted by: @vdn

I really feel this is a universal feature of an unavailable man and not a cancer man particularly. 

 

well said. duly noted

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sophiab
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Worst heartbreak I ever experienced was with a Cancer man. It was in my early 20s. It was very intense and I liked all the sensitivity and emotion, he was an artist (of course!), but he suddenly backed out, almost overnight and it destroyed me. At the time I was innocent to such suffering, hadn't toughened up at that point. Had to really build myself back up, it led me down a bad self destructive path. He was still attached to his ex and had met up with her again. This is after I had met up with and stayed with his family for a week on holiday. I was definitely a rebound. I restored something in him and that was it. He didn't let go immediately. Kept calling me, and we would meet up and I would suffer in this limbo space until I finally drew a line to protect myself. What a mess! I haven't had further experiences. My Saturn is in Cancer so it prob unleashed some hell to do with that! I also have Mars in Cancer so am attracted to those sort of moon-y men. Where is your Mars? 

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BellaDonna
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@sophiab 8th house Mars Chiron in Gemini opposite Saturn 

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@belladonna So, possibly an air-ey mercurial vibe man, 3rd house placements, might resonate with you. Their Mars would need to be quite strong because you have Mars in 8th (house ruled by Mars). And a Plutonian essence would also help. Maybe also Virgo, as they sometimes have Scorpio placements.

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@sophiab I do love Mercurial types in general, of course... love love to laugh and wit is the greatest charm on me. honestly nothing impresses me more... it's like a wink revealing their intellect... it's laughable how true to the astrology it is

I've dated a couple of Virgos, some of my most recent actually and one of which, well... no one has loved me like him.. I like Virgo men. The other was decent too but in relationship eventually it was a no because of his deep issues around intimacy, commitment and emotional ineptness.

What do you consider a strong Mars?

I've definitely dated plenty of Plutonians. 

Scorpio is like cat nip for me... not always, but when it is, it's inexplicably strong. Cancers I have a unique connection with too, but with Scorpio it's like a feeling of other lifetimes and eternity

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BellaDonna
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I was in a very intense brutal trauma bond with a Scorpio stellium younger man, which was right on my Pluto ASC. that was one of the roughest to get over... he touched me to the core.

I've always thought I'd end up with my life partner being a Scorpio, but have said he would have to be eagle evolved.. because otherwise it is traumatic

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BellaDonna
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I feel understood by Scorpio in a way that is rare I think.. and that's the appeal, I need that profundity of depth because of my own Plutonian essence like you said. But that feeling of being understood is what makes it feel so eternal.. it transcends our earthy realms and feels like okay I could do this for a lifetime

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@belladonna As a fellow Taurus, I know exactly what your describing regarding Scorpio men!! That polarity is so powerful and deeply transformative for Taureans. It's a natural match and whenever Taurus and Scorpio people are near each other the magnetism is undeniable. The only thing that turned me away from this energy was the controlling factor, but I agree, an evolved Scorpio who can trust would be great.

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@belladonna I was thinking maybe Mars in 1st house, or 10th h. Not Scorpio Mars, or even Aries Mars!! ... more through the house emphasis or placement, like Mars being angular or high up in the chart and accessible.

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@sophiab cool! duly noted... this summer I dated a Leo man with a stellium in Cancer including his Mars in the 10th... I loved how he expressed healthy masculinity and it set the bar for me of how I want to be pursued. There was no guessing his interest in me, but then again he's in his early 40's (me in my mid 30s), divorced father.. so he just had his act together and was way more emotionally mature than most men I've dated. He doesn't have the time to screw around.

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Screenshot 2021 10 06 at 7.22.01 PM

am curious now... what sort of man do I find attractive as per my chart?

 

(I usually go for the overachieving physically fit man or the extremely spiritual man... no middle grounds so far.. and probably the reason for being single?)

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sophiab
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Based on the chart you've added, you have a contradiction going on with your own Mars because it is again very strong being in its home sign of Aries, also at 0* Aries! but it's in 4th house of the Moon/Cancer. So you would be attracted to highly independent, self-starter type men, very active and innovative, driven, but there is also that 4th h need for more nurturing sensitive vibe and someone who likes being home and close to others, more maternal/feminine vibe. You can see these are quite different energies! So you need a mixture of fire and water going on in the right way. A cancer Mars in 1st h could be interesting (not necessarily with cancer rising, just the Mars is in the Aries house). Also, maybe in 9th h. You can play around with it, and consider also fire Mars in a water house, I think 8th h, out of the 3 would be good because the person would be driven to bond and partner more which would suit your Cancer. 

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@sophiab wow sophia b... thanks.. that's how I have been dating so far and failing too.. because it is rarer to find a combination of independent self-starter but rooted in a partner (me) and I feel the need for both... interesting contrasts..

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@vdn Just to add, you don't need to limit it to the man's Mars to brings in the needed energy, you can open it up to other personal planets also. What you're looking for is the right overlay of energy - fire (Aries) + water (cancer) by combining planet and house.

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