I feel the same way...
I've honestly just been preparing to be single for the rest of my life or at least long periods of time. I take dating rather seriously and if I don't see a future with you then I cut it off. I've never been in a relationship that lasted longer than a year (mostly my fault - I'm quick to cut people off after many chances)
But it saddens me when I see people I dated end up with someone else and they last for a long time.. Happy for them, but sad for me in the fact that I always seem to be the one alone and then I start to question my whole existence.
My last relationship was 3 years ago and before that I was single for approximately around the same time as well or maybe even longer.
I know part of it is me. I'm not too picky per se, but there are certain things I'm attracted to in a person that just seems hard to find these days and like I said, I take dating rather seriously. Like it's all in or nothing which I'm sure can be too intense for some. I've also had issues with my self esteem that I've been working tirelessly on.
I'm content with being single on some level especially now that most of my time is dedicated to my hobbies, learning new things, traveling and I'm back in school plus work, but sometimes in the dead of night, those thoughts start to creep in..
I don't know.. I've just been preparing myself to not "feel" so much about it and just keep going on with my life which has made getting over things easier. I think I'm just at a point where I realize being single may be a choice I've been making as I try to grow and heal. But, I would like to be committed..
I'm a triple Cancer w/ a Libra rising. I think ever since I was a child, one of my main dreams have been partnering with someone who is a best friend as well as a lover. The romantic in me was already so present and yet so fragile.
Anyway, I hope you and whomever is out there looking for love and commitment can one day be blessed with an enduring relationship.
sending love and light <3
@ridingthewaves This was so poignant to read, thank you. I wish you the fulfillment of your deepest desires.🙏🏻
@libra-noir thank you! I always enjoy reading your posts/thoughts. I can usually relate on some level, so thank you for being so open. I wish you the fulfillment of your deepest desires as well! You are deserving. I hope you know that ❤️
@ridingthewaves Thank you, I will take your blessing and put it in my pocket.
I think a large percentage of people have the wrong idea of what is right for them.
This is a general remark, not having anything to do with people who have posted to the thread. It's just a high priority thing to consider.
@elsa Well it definitely applies to me. You told me in a reading to stop going for guys with a sexual edge and I’ve tried to implement that. I just let those hot guys live in my fantasies. I call them my seven of cups guys.
@libra-noir yes, the sexual edge is like what percent of the hours in a day? Not that high. And it becomes less important as you age.
It's way overemphasized, probably because we try to live a movie.
@elsa Ya the down-and-dirty isn’t as important as it once was to me. The penis doesn’t have the same hold over me that it used to lol. Thank you Creator for that!
"try to live a movie" -- nailed it!
From earliest memory, my crushes were rooted in a power dynamic à la Rhett and Scarlett. Challenge, intensity, obstacles to overcome. Once the power leveled off in a real relationship, or even flipped, after a phase of pleasant camaraderie the vague discontent began. Filling the void with work, ambition, travel, social life, new pursuits just broadened the gap.
It was the age-old lament -- "the thrill is gone." Immaturity -- yes. A well matched couple with a well thought out plan to address it by embarking on some mutually engaging new adventure together with a challenging dynamic could beat this. Touring the country for a year in an RV, starting a side business, volunteering for a cause together...
I was looking for something in my old journals from back in my dating days and I was horrified to read about the relationships I was in and how uncomfortable I was with those goofballs! I could feel the creepiness even now 40 years later. Yuck! But I thought it was me. I thought I was supposed to try to make it work with them, and it was up to me to make myself feel better with them. There was something broken about me.
If I met up with any one of them now I wouldn't give them even 30 seconds. It would be, "Nope, not going to happen " without even breaking stride.
What happened? I just met someone who did not make me feel awful. It took me a while to get it that 'absence of awful' actually felt pretty good. I almost shined him on too. Turns out there was nothing particularly broken about me - or at least my brokenness did not mean we couldn't work out fine.
One of my things is Plutonian relationships. It’s Pluto, Scorpio, eighth house, the whole shebang with some Neptune usually thrown in there just enough to keep me pining and romanticizing. I know these types of connections aren’t really good for me, but I crave the intensity. I just don’t like the backlash that happens when it’s overwhelming for one or both of us. I like the passion but not the drama. This is why I wonder if I’m just truly fucked. When I’m alone I crave passion and when I’m with someone I crave peace. I’m way past wondering where all the good men are. I’m deep into wondering about myself. I know it’s me.
And there’s this constant lingering suspicion that I have that any man who’s attracted to me must have something wrong with him to be into me. These are the thoughts that Pluto offers. I also suspect that I am very loveable but there’s such a conflict within me that I vacillate (Libra) between the two self images. One always trying to prove itself to the other.
Ugh, and then I read this and it sounds so self indulgent because it is. If I only knew how to get out of my own fucking way maybe I could find fulfillment.
@libra-noir What degrees are your Libra planets? Keep an eye on Chiron in Aries - this transit could be behind some of the questions you are asking about relationships, the self, togetherness, independence and how childhood wounding needs healing to go forwards. Interestingly the nodes will move into Aries-Libra too in July. The second Aries moon (after tomorrow's) on 20th April is the first eclipse in that cycle (although without the nodes in sign yet). So what you are illuminating here could be part of an opening chapter of an ongoing story of discovery. Give yourself time, it's a new pathway opening.
@sophiab Oh ya, Chiron is opposing my Sun at 17 degrees Libra. Thanks for giving me another piece to the puzzle.
@libra-noir Based on the chart you recently posted, Chiron is on your IC right now. Quite a sensitive point.
@libra-noir Also, next Full Moon on 6th April (5th perhaps in parts of the States) is at 16* Aries, Moon in Libra, Sun conjunct Chiron at 15.52.
@libra-noir expelling things like this will probably allow to uncover the piece you lack. Think of my husband's analogy of digging a shallow trench, 'round and 'round in a circle. You never get anywhere. I hope you break through.
@elsa Thanks, I hope I do too. I feel like I hit a block with it and then I just go into hermit mode. Pluto leaving my first I hope will help. Saturn will also oppose my Venus in Virgo here soon. I know that could go either way but I think it will at least provide some direction for my heart and mind which will be a relief.
Yes, I believe everyone has difficulties in relationships and if they say otherwise they arent being truthful or they dont show their true colors to their partner!
Nothing good comes without struggle.
Its just finding the right struggle that makes it worth it, fine line if you ask me. No one is perfect and not everyone handles things the same way. Alot of it is communication in relationships as we all know.
Only a robot Aquarius would say, I don’t really have much of a problem. Sometimes? Sure. But then it untangles itself and either is or isn’t. Beep bop boop 🤖