So, It's Me and my Scorpio's one year anniversary today. I already gave him his gift which I spoiled him with something that he has wanted I paid attention and paid about $350. Not that the dollar amount matters but I want to get the point across that if it makes him happy its worth it. We celebrated yesterday because he has his kid tonight. He took me to a Simple Mexican restaurant. But, I didn't get any gift or even flowers.
Now I do not expect him to splurge like I did because it doesn't matter. But, atleast some flowers would of been nice. I appreciate us going out to dinner but, I am a gift giver especially with anniversaries. A week or 2 ago he mentioned our anniversary coming up and he was like I got to get you a gift I gotta figure out what I am getting you.
Now, If you would of never said that I wouldn't be as upset I suppose. I would of been happy with dinner and flowers atleast...
Am I wrong to expect atleast something. I am a sucker for thoughful things over material so he could of not spent a dime and just did something sweet I would of been touched.
In the past he has gotten me flowers randomly for no reason, but not on anniversary? Granted he has not done something like this in months.
I guess I see our first year together as a big deal, and I am happy with him... He got me christmas gifts and a birthday gift so its not like he has never been a gift giver.
I guess I am just disappointed. I expect someone to treat me how I treat them and I suppose it gets me disappointment.
Like I said he did take me out, so am I an asshole? I guess I just wanted to feel like the day was as special to him as it is to me and it doesnt feel that way.
Gee, I don’t even know how I would bring that up. Maybe he’s just really unsure of what to get, what kind of gift would be the best thing for you for a first anniversary. And Valentine’s Day is very soon, so maybe he’ll do something big for that.
Also, my husband is pretty generous but I remember early the gifts were excellent but also it depended upon our financial situation at the time. As time went on and he was more financially secure, we could do more. I’m making no judgement at all, just realized that that how things went. 🙂
@allie120 he knows me so well and he did good on Christmas and my birthday.
like I said he didn’t even have to spend any money somethin thoughtful goes a long way with me. Yeah I know valentines is coming up but in my eyes an anniversary is more important?
im not going to bring it up its not the end of the world lol I’m not mad. Plus it’s not like he neglected it he still took me to dinner and told me happy anniversary. But I suppose I just wanted something to make it feel special, like how I did.
plus he hasn’t been shy to ask me what I wanted before to get ideas I suppose.
I guess it makes me feel like I care more
@leobra1221 I hear what you are saying, I think. It’s not about the gift, the price of anything. It’s the excitement and celebration and meaning.
I think we've all been there with situations like this! The main thing is, you feel upset and the best remedy is to talk to him about it. If you don't talk to him it will become a resentment and too many of those building up causes difficulty later. So, aim to get it off your chest and say you were disappointed. He can't know or make efforts to change things if he doesn't know he's taken a misstep.
It's a Libra dilemma. Holding back about your needs due to fear of the outcome in the other, but assume he'll listen and take it in his stride. He's a Scorpio after all 🙂
@sophiab I just do not want to make him feel bad is all. One side of me is hurt and wants my efforts reciprocated. The other side says it’s not a big deal let it go. Ultimately, I’m not gonna make much of a fuss. If I ever do bring it up I’m going to do it very light heartedly, but I don’t think I’m going to.
I don't think you're an asshole, but I would let this go. How he treats you, day to day, is what matters.
@elsa I am, I’m not gonna bring it up or make him feel bad just disappointed is all. I’m a Leo so I guess I am needy LOL
more so what bothers me is his efforts seem to have lessened than previously
@leobra1221 I don't know his financial situation but Scorpio tends to provide energy rather than Taurean hard goods. This sounds like a Leo/Scorpio clash. Leo liking pomp and circumstance.
Please don't think I am criticizing you. I have Venus in Leo. We do tend to make grand gestures for our loved ones but it's not right to think they will or should reciprocate.
I mean... I have come to understand this. He offered what he wanted to and it was not as much as you wanted... but if you look from the other direction, you're skirting the edge of lack of gratitude.
I don't know about this man but if I gave someone a gift and it wasn't enough; I probably bother the next time... so there is the other side to consider. Sorry!
Again, I am writing this with the intention to offer another perspective.
@elsa I dont expect material items like I said, just something that shows I was thought of, and the day means something.
I dont take this as criticism I have thought of it from all perspectives myself but still cannot help go back to my root feelings.
Its not that I dont appreciate dinner, but also being told im getting something and i dont thats one thing.
Oh well this will blow over, but I may not do as grand of a gesture next time.
I guess Leos are idealistic types, and act that way and expect the same in return.
And if not, there is disappointment - not necessarily materially but idealistically.
I 'm a Leo with a Leo partner - we pretty much try to outdo each other with birthday and Christmas gifts. It's a game! Things don't have to be expensive, but fun or surprising.
But I can totally understand your disappointment - you accord importance to this and see that your partner is not on the same wavelength - it kinda makes him seem like a stranger, speaking another language...
@satsun I dated a leo once, even when i bought him a random small gift. He would come back and out gift me just to show his appreciation.
It is a day to celebrate our relationship, out of all days of the last year youd think that day would be the day to do something...
I even remember seeing some old posts on his facebook of him and his ex an dhim getting her flowers for anniversary. Kinda hurts to know he gave them to her but not me. He claims to spoil him and treat him great, that she treated him poorly. Look where it has gotten me.
This isn’t the first time this guy has made you question how he really feels. Seems like a pattern.
I understand where you’re coming from. It’s weird to tell someone you’re getting them a gift, and then not, and then not say anything about it. What is he thinking you won’t notice? That’s weird. My husbands a Scorpio too.
Anytime he has said he was going to get me something and couldn’t follow through, he says something to me. Like, “I’m sorry I couldn’t get you something baby. I hope this is enough.” ?
@sirena-oceana Yeah I had just back in december told him how I was feeling that he doesnt care as much as he used to and how I feel I initiate most things. He took it hard and promised to be better. He has been better with affection but its the fact that every couple of months I tend to start to feel the same way. I guess he is too comfortable.
This isnt the first time he has mentioned something and not followed through. Me, myself anything I have told him or promised I make sure I deliver because it matters alot to me. It matters that I show him my love and care. I just need reciprocity. Or else I am going to build resentment or feel taken for granted. Kind of already there.
I am simple. I dont ask for much. I cook him a nice meal every sunday, bake his favorite cookies, give him back massages, buy him his favorite drinks randomly. Buy him thoughtful gifts on special occasions. And I feel that I pu t more effort into the relationship.
I know his love language is quality time and we do spend a lot of time together but I guess he used to do things he no longer does and that is what is bothersome because he is capable of thinking in that way.
@leobra1221 It’s not that he didn’t follow through per se..sometimes that can happen. What if he didn’t have the money? It’s that he didn’t care enough to apologize. It’s that he didn’t care enough to give you an explanation. Consideration is extremely important in a relationship. He knew you would notice. Maybe he wanted to see how you’d react? Or maybe (if he’s truly a pos) he wanted to hurt you and knew you wouldn’t have the self-worth to say something. I don’t think it’s that, but I don’t know they guy.
@sirena-oceana I dont think its intentional to hurt me at all.
I dont even care about the money but flowers are cheap.
I know he can afford something. Like I said i dont expect him to match what i did but just some effort to feel considered. Or like you said an apology or explanation goes a long way
Im not unreasonable im super understanding. I just need to feel some sort of effort. When I give 110% efforts
@leobra1221 look, these are your feelings. They’re valid. It’s okay to say something. I don’t mean chew him out for it, but it’s okay to say, “it hurt me a little that you said you were going to get me something but you didn’t. It’s not that I don’t appreciate you or what you do for me, but I feel like you could’ve at least said something about why you didn’t follow through. I care about you and I want us to work so this is why it’s important for me to bring this up. I want you to know how I feel. I want us to work on our communication.”