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Age gap in a relationship

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MariaR
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I'm interested how much younger or older you would go?

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PurpleStarGirl
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At least 15 years older than me. 

I actually prefer older men thanks to my Capricorn stellium and Venus in Aquarius.

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MariaR
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@purplestargirl

Makes sense with a Capricorn Stellium. 

Do you ever worry you would become their caregiver some day? 

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PurpleStarGirl
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@mariar

Not a worry of mine. I believe if you love someone, you're there until the very end.

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MariaR
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@purplestargirl

 

Yes, true. 

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canscocappy
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I may fall in love with men way older than me, but I always end up with partners close to my age. Haven't figured out why it happens, but it happens.

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Calliope
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If I fall in love, I fall in love Smile I had both older (approx. 20 years) as younger partners. I never thought about that, it just hapen to fall in love and there was an age gap... like 20 years.

If I were to choose I think I won't go more than 10 years. But usually love choose me, so it was out of my control Smile

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canscocappy
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@calliope "If I fall in love, I fall in love"... I feel for you! I have 7th house Venus in Leo conjunct Mars, which is as exact as it can ever get (Venus at 16 deg 19, Mars at 16 deg 18). I managed to spend 3 years relatively single, not by choice, and it was awful.

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MariaR
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@canscocappy

 

I would find 3 years a long time to be single too.  Venus in 7th also.  Can only imagine what's it's like to have that Venus Mars conjunction in 7th!

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canscocappy
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@mariar Add to that that I was an undergrad, freshman to senior year (in senior year I met my abusive ex), but my Uni happened not to have many men, so I would date my own gender, too. However, it didn't last long.

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MariaR
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@canscocappy

 

Sorry about your abusive ex.

A university with not many men sounds unusual!! 

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canscocappy
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@mariar It's because at the time, Classics (Ancient Greek and Latin Literature) was considered, like many education sectors, female-dominated. This has started to change in the past few years, though.

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Calliope
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@canscocappy Me too: Venus Leo conjunct Mars, but in the 11 th house. I also have Venus ASC, so I've needed & searched for love all my life and like you, it was terrible when I was single...

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canscocappy
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@calliope Exactly! And now the big question: have you ever fallen in love or have attracted people with people of different age or backgrounds than yours? I was wondering because of the 11th house. Furthermore, where is your Lilith? Does it aspect with your Venus and Mars?

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Calliope
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@canscocappy I have always fell in love or attracted people with different background, from a different culture or with a significant age difference 😀 I have Aquarius Lilith in the 5th house and it opposes my Mars. Is Lilith playing an important role in this? I've never paid attention to it...

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canscocappy
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@calliope Of course! I have 8th house Lilith in Libra square my Sun and Merc in Cancer and sextile Venus and Mars. Lilith in women shows where we are more unconventional, what is the side of ourselves that is the most feared and yet can attract others to us like bees to honey. As a 5th house Lilith in Aquarius, you thrive in being attracted to people from different backgrounds, but you may not like it as much when they try to have you assimilate to their background, you strive for independence. The Mars opposition means that men are attracted to you for this tolerance, but may be fearful of your refusing to conform to their own ideals. The most positive manifestation would be if you adopted children from a different background compared to yours, worked with them or if you have biological children with someone who respects your background without trying to have you convert to theirs. Lilith aspects to personal planets add to the whole Venus/Mars energy, I assure you.

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Calliope
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@canscocappy Wow, thank you so much for transforming my understanding of Lilith 😊 This Lilith for sure explains certain dynamics in my relationships. Lucky to have met in general men who have respect for differences between us and not try to impose any of their views 😊

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canscocappy
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@calliope To my surprise, today Midara uploaded a thorough article on your Lilith in Aquarius on the ElsaElsa blog, so you can check it out: Lilith in Aquarius! 😉

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Calliope
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@canscocappy I will, thank you 😍

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canscocappy
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@calliope Always welcome! 😉

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MariaR
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Ah, I see. 

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MariaR
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Sorry, this message was meant to be a response to cansocappy's last message! 

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BellaDonna
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The oldest I've for real dated was 10 yrs and for my old Plutonian soul, I loved it. I don't have major Venus Saturn natally (unless you consider Saturn in 2nd), but at the time Saturn was squaring my Venus. My mom was thrilled after some awful bouts with younger guys. She said, you need to date older and then boom, I met someone older. It was the best of both because he looked my age (amazing Latino genes) but was older and it was very grounding for me, for sure. Unfortunately, ultimately he was a commitment-phobe.. one of the possible downsides of meeting an older single man. But, I learned a lot from it as the Saturn Venus transit would have it and it was definitely still one of my most stable relationships... not super Pluto toxic like so many of my relationships have tended to be with my Pluto Rising 8th house Mars. :/

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BellaDonna
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I used to never be attracted to guys younger than me, but then aging would have it that the further up I go the more unavoidable that is haha. I've had 2 really intense connections with younger guys... one I was involved with around the same time as the older guy during the Saturn Venus transit.

I just think dating guys pre-Saturn Return is very challenging... and to be older than them I am close enough to that mark, so in terms of emotional investment I try to steer clear at this point.

Lately, I've been meeting a lot of guys a few years younger than me but all-around Saturn Return age and up.The last young, 29 so I was older and he had Venus sq. Saturn natally.

So, the youngest I'll seriously date is SR & on, or the oldest, eh probably not more than 15 yrs older, but ideally more around 10.

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MariaR
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@belladonna

Yes, I'm finding the same thing about older men - commitment phobic. 

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BellaDonna
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@mariar

Yeah, his Pluto squared my Venus, and I felt like catnip to him. I went really slow which I think helped establish respect and boundaries, because he was used to just getting his way and was quite vocal about being selfish/stuck in his ways. I think the slowness made him grow very fond of me in a way that was a learning lesson for him, because eventually I cut him off for seeing clearly he just simply isn't capable of going deeper with me. We shared very similar lifestyles though and were very compatible in that sense (hence why it lasted as long as it did). We established a friendship I guess you could say.. but ultimately it was clear he'll never change and I'm too deep for it, I need more.

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BellaDonna
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but that was hard for him, he didn't want to give up his nip... long after I could still feel his urge when we'd touch base here and there.. but it was kinda sad really, for him I mean, but he is who he is and I don't have time for all that

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MariaR
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@belladonna

It sounds like you did the healthiest thing cutting him off if it was clear he wouldn't go deeper.  

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