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WHO DO YOU BLAME? 
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elisa
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Friday, October 4, 2019 - 8:45 am
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maybe when i was younger it was easier to blame others, but i see after even learning astrology and before that, how our parents and their parents and upbringing and culture and influences can effect them. Combine with astrology too, it’s just ..well you can’t do anything but just accept how it is with life. My sister with the Pisces stellium, taurus moon aries sun, cancer rising does alot of blaming towards our mother and calls her narcissistic, (which i can see what she means) because my mother is very venusian so she loves beauty and anything so beautiful, Taurus rising, Libra sun influence, but my sister doesn’t see that she is in some way similar, as she took alot of attributes from our mother. She does have a taurus moon after all, and lots of pisces (venus pisces is exalted in venus sooooo very very venusian) and she sometimes doesn’t appreciate her. And i get that, cause oh my goodness, mom can be so controlling lol   with so much cardinal in her and her daughters are dominant Mutable. LOL  we adapt and get away LOL Maybe it’s a lesson to us all to learn that her control is to keep us in check and our highly mutable ways keeps her imagining and seeing that some things are to LET GO. not be so OCD. (anal- retentive)  lol  but i love that about my mother too, because the house was always so spotless and everything so beautifully decorated. I could never be like her. She would make a home look lovely and gorgeous and someone would hire her to decorate their home. For me, no way. LOL

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virgolight
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Friday, October 4, 2019 - 3:14 pm
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I agree with your take on things.

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anonymoushermit
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Friday, October 4, 2019 - 3:53 pm
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I think there’s a period of mourning, emotions, and pain. Call me rebellious, but I think people who never want to hear anyone’s sad story is kinda a jerk that has no empathy, sympathy, and maturity.

I think preaching responsibility all the time can be a way of putting everything under the rug, not healing a wound, and even a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of weakness because if you’re not willing to talk about it, deal with it, and heal it, that sounds like running away to me! I don’t know, but running away sounds weak to me.

Tell a rape victim to just ‘get over it’ and ‘stop being a whiny baby’, and don’t be surprised that she/he doesn’t want to see you ever again.

I’m not talking about soup, or anyone here, just society in general.

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Libra Noir
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Sunday, October 6, 2019 - 11:48 pm
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See, I think what you are talking about actually qualifies as taking responsibility. Dealing with it and healing it- thats taking responsibility for your own wellbeing. 

To me, its just about seeing your own self in the equation, whatever that is, pain or choices or whatever. Its like the opposite of projection. 

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soup
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Friday, October 4, 2019 - 5:59 pm
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In this situation she is 55 years old complaining about the same thing she was complaining about when she was 19. 

There is no forward movement. She just can’t get past our mother. It’s very sad. I love her, she is my sister, and I am glad to listen. I have been listening to her tell the same story now for 36 years. 

One thing is for certain. Her victim mentality is not helping.  I want her to have a good life. Be at peace and feel better. I have my own issues with our mother (the same ones) but I can’t let that cause me to stop living. 

What she doesn’t seem to realize is that while she is blaming her for drinking when she was younger, she is and has done the exact same thing to both of her kids. She can’t see that clearly though. (her own kids won’t talk to her for the exact same reason, sure would be nice if they could all somehow break the cycle) 

She is just stuck. It’s really sad. 

When is it enough? When do you finally lay down the cross? When do you finally stop telling the same story over and over again? When do you move past it. I feel like when she stops blaming our mom she is going to be a little lost because she will have to confront herself and then what? 

All I know is I don’t tell her these things. I just listen… she is my sister and I love her. 

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Osiris Wife
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Friday, October 4, 2019 - 6:25 pm
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I think it also could be a cultural thing.

The vast majority of the people in my adopted country struggle with accepting responsibility.

Or is it the fear of failure? If you blame another when you don’t achieve something then you never really failed, Instead the person you blame is the one who failed you.

It’s so much easier to point fingers. Of course there are situations where it’s warranted like crime, that’s not what I’m talking about.

Parents are just easy targets.

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Jilly
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Friday, October 4, 2019 - 6:39 pm
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I blame Pluto.

(Scorpio/8th house joke. I have Jupiter in the 8th sorry.)

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soup
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Tuesday, October 8, 2019 - 12:57 pm
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haha I blame Pluto too Jilly! Cos… my life is just one big Pluto transit. 

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dolce
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Sunday, October 6, 2019 - 7:55 pm
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soup said

When is it enough? When do you finally lay down the cross? When do you finally stop telling the same story over and over again? When do you move past it. I feel like when she stops blaming our mom she is going to be a little lost because she will have to confront herself and then what? 

  

This is really hard for some people. It’s like drug addiction – it’s the escape. Confronting the reality can be a house of horrors. Then you have to deal with how you wasted time, or your whole life.

My answer to your question:

Sometimes I blame luck. If I did my best, it worked out or it didn’t and that’s that. It doesn’t bother me. Somehow I don’t blame my parents even though they are responsible for some unfortunate things. I can see people’s humanity too easily, including theirs. 

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Michaela
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Monday, October 7, 2019 - 1:20 am
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You & me & everyone we know.

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Satsun
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Monday, October 7, 2019 - 11:14 am
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I’m currently reading a book where Freud is quoted saying that it’s easier to be be unhappy than to be happy, like easier to roll downhill than up.

So, blaming is easier to do (as many have said here). You can blame anyone or anything, there is a huge choice, things you can’t control, outside of yourself.

That way you can feel “not responsible” for whatever happens to you. Unfortunately that itself makes it difficult to change anything, you’re only watching the game (and complaining).

Great replies from you guys!  

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Libra Noir
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Tuesday, October 8, 2019 - 11:40 am
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I feel like this is also a question of authenticity. Or that taking responsibility leads to authentic living. I cant quite put into words the connection between the two, but I feel that its a strong one. 

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DarkAquarian
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Wednesday, October 9, 2019 - 11:27 am
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To blame someone means that you claim to be a victim.

The strongest people I know have graduated from their “victim-hood”.

Yes, there are causal reasons for this and that: gentrification, eugenics, war, annexing of countries, and people just being downright fucking selfish shits.

But if you decide to remain in the prison of hate a blame for another, while they saunter the neighborhood, then you seem to be in a place that doesn’t bode well for healing.

But that’s OK, for no thing lasts forever. It’s part of the process.

But graduate.

It’s hard NOT to blame others. But I pray for the myself to change, meditate and more, so that I can become peaceful, so then let there be peace.

But I’m in the mode of that there are FEW TO NO ABSOLUTES. Seeking absolutes stifles growth. This blame game can continue forever, to where you reach who, Adam and Eve? Original sin? Certainly most of us feel someone must be responsible, so it then falls back onto the individual, and if you can become a loving person who can stand nowhere, not seeking absolutes, then perhaps others can pick up on your mindset and tendencies and view. We must learn to love and have compassion. Life is not easy but lessons that can be learned from such hardships are worth it.

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Libra Noir
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Wednesday, October 9, 2019 - 11:50 am
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I can not for the life of me remember who was talking about this, but they were talking about this concept of passing the buck all the way back to Eve and that the serpent was the one that ultimately took accountability for it all. 

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NotMyCircus
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Wednesday, October 9, 2019 - 2:21 pm
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It seems to be the blame game goes in circles even in the Adam and Eve story. I’ve heard it said that Adam blamed Eve for deceiving him, and that men everywhere have been blaming women ever since.

I don’t know about that. And it looks like God holds all three accountable, but in individual ways. God punishes Eve (and all of us women) through childbirth, and putting us under a man’s authority instead of being his equal. He punishes Adam (and all mankind) by cursing the ground with weeds and making work suck. He punished the serpent (and all snakes afterward) by putting him on his belly. Now people fear snakes, and call anyone shady or vindictive a “snake”. Of course all three were banished from the garden and we lost our immortality. I’m just stating what I see in the story, fair or not. Everyone was busy pointing fingers at each other, and God said, I don’t CARE who you say put you up to it!! You messed up. Now you have to pay, and so will everyone born after you. 

So who DO you blame? 

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