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WHO DO YOU BLAME? 
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soup
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Wednesday, October 2, 2019 - 9:23 pm
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Maybe Elsa can title this better after she sees it. 

I have a question. Who do you blame? 

Who do you blame for you station in life? Your lack of education? Your inability to love? For anything you’re lacking? The problems in your life? Who gets the blame? 

Your dad? Your mom? A bad transit? Grandma? Your husband? Your ex? Your kids? Your childhood? The area you grew up in? Your ethnicity?

WHO DO YOU BLAME? 

Is there astrology attached to this? Does one Sun actually blame others for their shortcomings faster than another? 

There are some facebook groups that allow people to rant. You should see the MIL pages. OMG. They wish their MIL dead. (and the admin allows it eek) The MIL is to blame for everything that has ever happened since they met the idiot boyfriend or very young husband that got them knockers…. (w/baby) Some of the shit is so outrageous that it’s just entertaining to read. 

You can go to social media any day and see everyone blaming one side or the other (politics) for whatever mess they think they are in. 

Do you take responsibility for yourself? Is there a Sun sign that is able to do that easier than another? 

Example: My sister blames my mother for every single bad thing that has ever happened to her. Now, my sister has a masters degree in accounting and makes an insane living. She has been divorced several times. She sleeps with married men (she can’t see the problem with that) and drinks at least a bottle or two of wine by herself every night. She owns her own home (its beautiful btw) but can’t lose weight (stop drinking a gallon of pure sugar before bed every night) and blames my mother because she isn’t happily married. She’s 55 years old. 

I decided to do something when I was 40. By the time I was 57 I was so sick I was sure I was going to die. Who do I blame? My doctor? My friends? The trends? My mother? 

I blamed my bio father because I had so many hideous relationships prior to marrying this man. Was is my father’s fault? Ever? Was it his fault because he was absent? 

 WHO DO YOU BLAME? 

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Libra Noir
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Wednesday, October 2, 2019 - 11:00 pm
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Its not really about blame for me, but I am responsible for my life. I do see a large distinction between the energy of blame and the energy of responsibility. Blame is a dead end, wether youre blaming yourself or someone else. Responsibility allows you to own your mistakes and grow from them. Im into empowerment. 

I take responsibility for this moment in my life. I made choices that brought me here. They were the best choices I knew how to make at the time. Now, I just know that I can make better choices in the future. I always gain knowledge if nothing else. It doesnt mean that I cant acknowledge that I have challenges due to my choices. I allow myself to say “this is not an outcome I enjoy”, because thats how I choose better next time. I forgive myself for my mistakes but I take accountability for my part in things. Not always easy to see, but when I do its the most freeing feeling. 

Ya know, I was talking to this gal the other day. She was mad because her brother wouldnt take care of her son and he was going to be put into foster care. I blurted out (I couldve done this with more finesse for sure) “well you had him”. She looked at me like she couldn’t believe that I said that and was in shock. I dont know, maybe noone had ever told her. I dont judge her because she doesn’t know what she doesn’t know. 

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Thursday, October 3, 2019 - 12:10 am
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I can’t help my sister get out of the mom blame thing. And, the thing is, she is so so smart. I mean, her accomplishments are many. As far as education and earnings this particular sister (and another one too) earn so much money. So, she is taking care of herself financially but she is sinking lower and lower in her personal life and I can’t get her off our mom. 

My mom was a tidal wave. And, I get it. But it just seems like it’s fruitless to continue to blame her till the end of time. She’s 55. And, she is still blaming our mother.

At what point to parents get off the hook? I think it takes having your kids grow up and blame their failure on you. I think of all the sacrifice and my son will say something crazy like…. you weren’t at all my football practices (not realizing I was at my second effing job) (it makes me nuts) 

All these psychological terms …. they are hung on people because someone looked the definition up on the internet and now…. mom is a (_____) dad is a (____) ???? Seems like the lazy way out to me. 

I have failed at plenty. It was when I stopped blaming mom, dad, the ex…the circumstance that I was able to look at myself. 

I’m into empowerment. 

**********************

I like that.

Setbacks happen to everyone. They actually make us stronger. Pointing at our mother is never going to get her on the road to some place happy where she is able to share her life equally with someone she may want to love. Seems like such a waste of time. I don’t ever want to downplay her feelings because she is entitled to them and I support her always… but, I want to shake her and say….HE IS NEVER LEAVING HIS WIFE….for the love of GOD. Find your own man. Why are you so smart in every other area? I love her, and I want to be what she needs…but I am not sure I am doing it right. I sure have no problem telling my kids when they ask. 

So much blame….not enough accountability if you ask me. 

I dated all those fire suns… dear God. One disaster after the next. Always looked promising, always turned to shit. Of course…at the time, I blamed them.  I stopped and asked myself….what is the one thing every one of these men have in common? Well, the answer of course WAS ME. 

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Thursday, October 3, 2019 - 12:26 am
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Me and my spiritual advisor were talking about this because Ive struggled with this, from both sides really. It has nothing to do with intelligence and everything to do with (self)awareness. 

She told me that you cant make anyone conscious but yourself. What I said to that gal, she probably wont understand. It was a waste of my breath. I shouldve showed her compassion instead of trying to wake her up. If she was ready, she would already understand. I shouldve honored her journey and not told her what I thought she should know. What do I know about her souls journey? It was not my place. It was arrogant of me, even if the words I spoke were true. She will either reach a breaking point or not, but its not my right to tell her how she should be approaching anything. 

I know its hard when you care about the person, but they need to come to these realizations within themselves. And I don’t think anybody has become empowered by anything but their own desire to feel better. 

But I know, I feel like you do a lot. Like I said, Im working through it. 

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chad
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Thursday, October 3, 2019 - 8:32 am
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Hey, soup.

Don’t be so hard on yourself.

You’re a good woman.

To answer your question.

I blame Santa…

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Thursday, October 3, 2019 - 5:12 pm
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I blame Santa too Chad… that liar!!!!!!!!!!!! 

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Thursday, October 3, 2019 - 9:01 am
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Blame is an island that helps us deal with something we do not want or cannot deal with or accept. Whether justified or not blame is human but it is also an emotion that will hold a person hostage to the past with its currently operating inner feelings, conscious or not, carried out with its other connected inner emotions of anger, rage, control, jealousy, resentment, disrespect, sadness, depression, sorrow, despondency, apathy, and countless more, and all the pathways those feelings take send us down our present road and affect how we are mentally, emotionally and physically now. Mom blamed, deeply look at the Moon feelings, dad blamed, deeply look at the Saturn superego baggage, all the stuff is inside, its not simple, like living in a glass cage, able to see out in day light and never on a dark night, only when the Moon is there or Uranus lightning flashes.

moon

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Thursday, October 3, 2019 - 5:30 pm
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Your words… you have no idea what they mean to me most of the time!!!!!!!!

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Thursday, October 3, 2019 - 9:12 am
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I also think blame is an excuse not to take responsibility. If my parents did certain things differently, sure, I may not have had certain problems. But maybe I still would. Maybe I would have worse problems. Maybe my problems have nothing to do with them, maybe it was everyone else’s fault. But it’s all my cross to bear and deal with. People are not perfect. It’s okay to acknowledge the effect someone had on you. But harboring feelings of blame seems like agreeing to be stuck in a prison.

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Ann
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Thursday, October 3, 2019 - 9:13 am
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I blame no one. I am a full grown woman and my life and what happens to me is a reflection of my own choices and mistakes. End of story.

I know plenty of people though that will beat the dead horse until eternity. I guess it’s easier to put the blame on someone when you refuse to accept to take responsibility for yourself.

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Thursday, October 3, 2019 - 10:35 am
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Oh I did blame my parents for years. I blamed them for the decisions I made on a subconscious level. Actually until I attended domestic violence groups and counseling it had not even occurred to me. Then the onion gets peeled.

The reality is parents are human.

As I have matured I don’t blame them. Even though they are both dead I can still be hurt by them, Memories and Ptsd suck. 

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Thursday, October 3, 2019 - 2:39 pm
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I tend to mourn, rather than blame.  It’s a really good question. 🙂

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Thursday, October 3, 2019 - 5:16 pm
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Libra Noir said   

She told me that you can’t make anyone conscious but yourself. What I said to that gal, she probably won’t understand. It was a waste of my breath. I should’ve showed her compassion instead of trying to wake her up.    

I feel like I have talked to someone till I am blue in the face and you can see an absolute ‘blank stare’ and no matter which angle I come from….they just can’t get it and won’t get it. It’s like trying to force a round peg into a square hole. Not happening. 

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Thursday, October 3, 2019 - 5:22 pm
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I have to admit…. 

When I put on a shoe or a boot, and I have to force my right foot in for a moment I do get really peeved at my mother. She was driving drunk with me in the car….(of course not belted in) and hit a telephone pole (passenger side) and my right foot was broken so badly. There are days when it’s damp outside….or especially cold…I will limp a little now that I am older. She screwed my foot and leg up royal. 

I am also peeved when I look in the mirror and see the nice scar above my right eyebrow. Drinking and driving again. This time she hit a kid on a bicycle and my head flew into the dashboard. Nice big gash. My eyebrow has never grown in correctly on that side. And, the kid lived thank God. 

This woman had no business near a vehicle. Back then…no one gave two shits and really didn’t do anything to drivers who were drunk. 

I love my mother. But, my sister has a point! 

When my son compares me working two jobs unable to be at every football practice to my head gash and broken foot….I want to stick my foot up his ass. 

Still, I have to let her off the hook. It hurts me worse than it does her. She doesn’t remember any of it. She was drunk. 

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Thursday, October 3, 2019 - 8:43 pm
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My husband and I talk about this sometimes….blame is backwards looking. I don’t have time for it now. I did a lot of blaming as a young adult though. Kind of merciless. I regret it. Asked for forgiveness.

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