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soup
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My Venus is Zero Scorpio. Can anyone guess what transit I am having right now? It's disgusting. I hate it. Makes me sick. I don't want it. I don't want the way it makes me feel. Am I not in my feelings enough normally? This is yet another bullshit transit where people are either obsessed with you, psychically attached or they hate your guts for reasons you really do not understand. 

I am not sure at what degree orb people start feeling this trash. I would assume that they probably feel it at around 5 degrees which would explain the shit show over the last...(2 years) however long. The stalker. The mind games from family. Everyone I have ever loved in my life is showing up and ready with a script in their hand. Even my oldest grand. 

I have no interest in this transit. I don't want to change my appearance although for whatever reason I do look better. Probably because I am not dying from anything at the present. I don't give one rats ass about money or buying luxury items. I don't want any stalkers coming near me... or I will beat their ass in the street (haha all 5'2 of me LOL) 

My oldest son got mad at me because I refused to let him act like a fool back in October and stopped talking to me for 7 months. Did I chase him around. Hell no. I didn't do anything to him in the first place. My mother went full loon and stopped talking to me. Now she loves me again and so does oldest son. BUT.. youngest son is mad and the ruthless side of DIL is showing again. I can't stand any of them LOL and I will not play. I refuse to do it. 

Shit for brains showed up to attempt to ruin my marriage. That turd is still hanging on to my energy. Blocked with no way to contact me I am sure he will find a way. 

My husband was absolutely horrible and wretched last year. It has eased up but my God I was ready to rock this thing as you have all heard. I guess I just don't want to be manipulated through love anymore. And I don't want any ghosts of the past to show up. But they have. 

I just want to go to piano lessons, take some art lessons, write, and meet new people that aren't the ones that want the drama to continue. Also, I don't mind the time I spend alone anymore. Maybe I am used to it by now... after being trapped and beaten down over the CV and how many vx's I should get demanded by husband. 

I will not comply with all this nonsense. I should be worth a hug without spending a dime on a kid or grand. I should be worth a hug even if I don't want to revamp my entire look. And I won't be caught in this game of spending money on shit I certainly do not need. 

I have read all I can about the transit. About obsession. About repression. About possible new love or the possibility of a stalker. I am not sure what to do right now but love my damn self enough to know when people are crossing the line either by force or purposely ignoring a loving text with a hello attached.  

I adore my GD to the end of the earth. But I put my foot down with her during the visit. She was extra! You expect this from teens. But, because I finally said DO NOT HIT YOUR SISTER... she is not talking to me hahaha seriously? Then don't. 

This transit will make test you enough that you don't want a relationship with anyone. When in the hell is this over for me. When is there relief. I have been able to feel it for a while. It's upping the ante right now. I can't wait till its exact. What then? 

I have looked and I can't find the answer as to how long this circus shit show will go on. 

BUT WAIT... as soon as this starts to dwindle I have a 4 degree Scorpio sun. What a freaking NIGHTMARE. (Neptune at 4 degrees too) 

I am getting too old for this shit. Seriously. Now its just aggravation. What more am I supposed to learn? I know not to overspend, get plastic surgery or cheat. I know to be kind to my family and be aware of their boundaries and my own. And I certainly know not to get involved with some old shit head I haven't seen in decades. 

This is exhausting. I am over it. Let the chips fall where they may. Haven't the fixed signs had enough already? What more does the universe want me to give up. I gave up my home, job, family, ability to work, by abdomen (from surgery) death of friends. I don't know anyone here and frankly with this trash going on why would I invite anyone into this transit of hell? 

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Elsa
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@soup Also on this transit, it's a double whammy because it's coming from your 7th house.

Also, money is probably going to be part of this in one way or the other. 

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@elsa If you are emotional at all it is really heartbreaking. People getting mad over things you don't understand. Miscommunication. That is why I hate texting so much. 

Somehow without saying a word I have done something. I am not sure what that is. Although I have been pretty clear about boundaries and how I will allow them to talk to me now. I speak up now. I say... stop talking to me like that. I literally had to tell my DIL I do not work for her. (Capricorn) This is how it went. She is nasty and barking orders. I said, I do not work for you. She starts crying like I killed her mother (for sympathy) and I am the asshole. I don't care. I don't work for her and she will speak to me like the person that raised her kids for her. I don't talk to her like that. Wouldn't and couldn't. 

I cannot stand women like that. The ones who cause all the shit then when you draw a line, they start crying like they are some innocent doe eyed deer. She is not. I love her. But I am not taking it. She speaks to her mother and father like trash. I am embarrassed for her when she does it. I refuse. So she cries. Keep crying girl. Doesn't bother me any. She knows the sacrifice I have made for her. Funny. You give someone 15 years of your life and when you say please don't talk to me like that... you are dead to them. haha 

This transit sure is a soap opera. I don't want anyone around me until its over. And money? Well I don't make any anyway. The only thing that could change is if I fell into a money pit. There isn't any to take away from me. I don't have any. 

I have heard that part of your transiting Pluto sq Sun is you finally taking up for yourself to the point of being unbearable. I also understand this is a time when you may lose your father. This wouldn't surprise me. I am reading all I can about it now to avoid making the obvious mistakes with people and myself. 

It's as if these transits want me alone eating out of a paper bag in front of a homeless shelter. Trying to roll with it. 

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@soup I think people all over the world are stressed out of their minds. It's not surprising they lash out but it doesn't mean it's okay,

I think age is a big asset at this time. You've seen things. Lived through them. Some old people are easy to manipulate because of fear. But if you've processed things on that level, you're pretty well positioned.

I wonder what your goal is for this transit. I also see you have 18 Scorpio - that's degree most affected by Saturn/Pluto square in August.

I wouldn't be looking too far ahead. Lots will happen between now and the end of the year

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@soup

 

I just got done with the Pluto square my Libra Neptune in the 1st House. Pluto sits in my 4th house and he's not leaving yet. That transit for me was about memories of my life, many of them unpleasant things from my childhood and teen years that I had buried. I got to re-experience my feelings from that time and it was emotionally hard to go through again, but I think it really helped me to move on.

I'm not looking forward to Pluto square my Moon/Saturn, also at 4 degrees of Scorpio. I can feel it already, so I know you're feeling it on your Sun.

With orbs, I've always been taught that its 10 degrees if the Sun or Moon is involved.

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@jofrance 

Pluto has been squaring both my Libra Neptune in 9th and my Aries Sun in 3rd forever.  So that's the root of my crazy out of the blue flashbacks of both childhood and more recent past, both pleasant and regrettable.  And there I thought it was just run of the mill old age creeping up!

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@warped 

I thought it was old age too, but once the Pluto square became a separating aspect and started to move on, the flashbacks mostly  stopped.  I'm so glad because they were like having something shoved in your face so you couldn't avoid looking at it.  Pluto is pushy!  

After going through that for several years, I can finally say I've reached a new plateau that is beyond the past.  Because my natal Neptune is in my 1st house, some of those flashbacks were about my behavior growing up, good and bad.  I felt like I was being judged.

 

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@jofrance 

Same here, and I judge myself more rigidly than God probably does.  Regrets aplenty, and bewilderment at times -- "What was I thinking?!" -- but also enormous gratitude for avoiding far worse, and for all my unmerited blessings, then and now.

I've also, for years, had random flashes of specific nostalgic places, sometimes daily, when doing particular totally unrelated mundane things.  For example, nearly every time I rinse the coffeepot, I'm "transported" in thought to the Sherman Oaks Whole Foods market dining patio!  I did sometimes bring my tiny free sample cup of the daily featured coffee out there along with whatever snack I'd bought to enjoy on my way home from work, so I suppose the coffee is s common element, but I never get the flash when I'm actually drinking coffee.  Ah, the mysteries of the mind!

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@jofrance I thought it was 10 degrees ... no wonder I can feel this energy. It's here. When I revisit those memories I think... maybe this is in my head so I can try to process it one more time and let it go. But seems I have not let it go yet.

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@soup 

It takes awhile.  Pluto is a slow transit that increases in intensity the closer it gets to exact.  After that, it abates.  What I hate about Pluto transits is that they're so mentally torturous.

You'll let go after you come to terms with it all.  Its a long process, ugly, but in the end it seems to give you acceptance and peace in your soul.  That's my experience with it now that its over.

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Elsa
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Posted by: @soup

I don't know anyone here and frankly with this trash going on why would I invite anyone into this transit of hell? 

I can relate to this a lot!  Sparing myself and others!!

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soup
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@elsa I just refuse to drag anyone else in... spare the innocent.

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@soup I totally understand but it's interesting on a deeper level.  You're doing it. I'm doing it. How many others are doing it?

Should we push against this tendency?

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@elsa I was thinking last night about how I have isolated myself from almost everyone. Reasons- it's just unbearable to be at odds with people I love so much. And, I know me. I have the Mercury in Scorpio and the big mouth Gemini Mars. I will blurt eff-U even though I have come so far and know better. I feel like I am protecting them from my reaction to the ridiculous. I see all this ridiculous stuff around me. The world makes no sense. But everyone around me is up for it. 

And while I love my husband, I just refuse to take any more shots. They make me sick. They have caused me horrible inflammation. I can see a huge difference in me since them. And I am not out and about anywhere anyway. I am not going to wear a 'M' in the car or outside because it seems like the silliest thing I have ever seen or heard of in my life. I always wore one in the Dr. office long before this during flu season so I wouldn't catch whatever they were seeing the Dr. for. That makes sense to me. But not while I am alone in my own car. WTH? He wants this. I do not. I don't want to fight. But I will not do it. 

I understand these transits are for our own growth. So if I don't get out there and mix it up how am I utilizing the good parts? The parts I am here to learn. When I think about pushing against this tendency ... I pull back. Why? Because I am tired. I am tired as tired can be. I have seen and lived enough tragedy I could write a book and people would label it fiction because there is no one on earth that would believe the things I have somehow found a way to endure. I will give you an example. I am 8 years old. I watch my stepfather burn our home to the ground because he is mad at my mother. I am leaning against a tree, holding my two-year-old sister on my hip and my 4-year-old sister is leaning against my leg. I am the adult again on this day. But I have no way to control this catastrophe unfolding before my eyes nor anyway to protect my siblings from it. This is one day. Only one. I have mountains of days like this ... and I guess I am just tired. I think that is why I was so drawn to you. I know you have lived these scenarios and fully understand that not all people get the supportive family and the two-car garage with dinner on the table and a parent helping you pass Tuesdays math test. Some of us had to find a way to survive. So I sit alone. There is peace here. It's lonely. But its better than being drug across knives. 

 

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@soup 

Omg, you truly are a soup-erwoman to have survived that childhood.

Your husband sounds unhinged.  Is he wearing an N-99 taped to his face all the way around (the only effective "m") outdoors and driving?  No wonder you've been miserable.  

🙏❤

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@warped If I actually told people the details of my childhood they would never believe it and call me a liar... or think I was bat &hit crazy. But it was pretty bad. I mean... from as far back as my first memory till maybe teen years but by then the damage was done. 

Oh boy Warped. The cv war. In my house. He was over the top in the beginning then it got worse... worse than over the top.

If I got near the front door in the beginning, he would shout... where are you going?! Then once we moved here (south) no one was doing the things they were telling people to do so he ordered groceries and we didn't leave the house. He would walk through a room with non stop cv updates to which places were overrun with patients and .... this went on for so long. I sunk into such a depression. Isolated from fam/friends. Knowing no one here and if I did he would have had a stroke if I had gone anywhere to have a lunch or even make a friend. 

I got so sick of hearing about it. There were times when it became overwhelming, I got in the car and headed back home. He hated that. But I just refused to sit here like that. It got so bad I didn't get out of bed sometimes. I have never been like this in my life.

Finally, when I was pushed down to my limit, I said... I am going to live. I am going to go see my kids. I am GOING OUT... I can't do this. 

He has since loosened up. But he still wears a mask if he goes inside anything. I went back home in May and got my grands. Didn't touch a mask. Then I took them to Savannaha to the beach. Stayed at a hotel and went out to eat. Never once from May 22nd till even today have I touched a damn mask. I have not caught this. The girls and I were in a crowded restaurant ... didn't catch a thing. Not one of us. And were were in crowded places, swimming, out to eat, shopping, in a crowded grocery store... 

He has had the 4 shots. I will not do it. If this is a mistake, I am sorry. I just cannot do it. They made me so sick. And I didn't feel good for months after. I am sorry I did it in the first place, but he insisted even though I rarely left the house. 

Years ago (many) I took a flu shot. It made me sick as hell. I vowed I would never do it again and I didn't ever do it again. I had them as a child but of course it was for school, and we didn't have any available for many things like measles. I just got the measles. I caught all the childhood diseases. Mumps, rubella, chicken pox... I lived. 

I don't mean to take this V in a shallow manner. But for me I just don't want any more shots and I am done with this mask thing. Even now in flu season if I have to sit in a crowded Dr office where there are a bunch of people with a cold or the flu... I will wear one, but I always have. I am so tired of it. How long can it go on. My mental health suffered so badly. I have never experienced anything like it in my life and Scorpio is NOT one to be the most social person .... but isolation like that. A person could go mad! 

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@soup 

I'm surprised he even opted to move rather than look for a new job where he could work from home only, but perhaps there were none.

I am just as paranoid as he is Except about alone in the car or outdoors!  But I have no objection to isolation so choose to avoid all indoor spaces and outdoor crowds or being within 10 feet of other humans and will do so forever except, God forbid, an emergency.  I consider myself very blessed to live alone with no social obligations, but I can sympathize with you and all who have families or jobs with no work at home options.. 

It might do you both some good to get into gardening or hiking or even for you to spread the word online to take grooming clients.  You can take the leash from the owner outdoors so no one needs to enter the house.  

The important thing is your marriage has survived, stronger than ever. ❤

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@soup You reminded me of my Scorpio grandmother, who had a monster for dad. He beat her badly and one time she wanted to go to a cake walk social and her motley had made a strawberry pie for it. Well, the asshole made my grandmother sit and eat the entire pie until she threw up. At one point she put a shotgun to his head but her sister hid the shells from her. I know nothing about him Astrologically, but he was a mean drunk. A real Bastard. 

Is it me or do Scorpios have a rough life in general? 

I have Venus in Scorpio at 12 degrees and even tho it is still a way off, I can only imagine what will happen. My husband's Moon and Mars conjunction are at 9 and 14 of Leo and hoo boy that Pluto opposition isn't going to be pretty.

I wish you well. 

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@tonya Thank you Tonya. I wish you well too! I think Scorpio's do have either a rough childhood or they have some devastating thing happen to them, and probably more than once.

I was reading when E was talking about Elizabeth Smart. Dream of a childhood. But look what happened to her. What a hideous nightmare. That child played a harp. She was raised well off and looked like a child model out of a magazine. Then, the unthinkable and you have to wonder how she stood up to it because you know she was overprotected. She stood up to it though with balls of steel even though she was raised on a cloud ... there has to be something to it. Are there lessons through hardship we come here to learn? 

I think sun moon risings have a tough time and I think people with a bunch of planets stacked in the 8th do too. 

When I saw my GD was born with a Scorpio moon, I kicked into gear to protect her at all cost. That thing is sitting in her 8th house and it sent chills down my spine. I thought... oh HELL NO... look out universe. Don't you go near my girl! Give the whatever to me. I can take it. Do not touch my girl. But, I know she is going to have to take a punch and it is out of my hands. Then, here comes her little sister with Moon/Pluto... oh HELL NO.... I hovered over those kids like rice on rye. LOL Thank God the other one has a Taurus moon. She is a Sag ... that kid will probably be a star. The other two, the sisters... oh boy. Sometimes there are things we wish we didn't know. So, what do I do... immediately start teaching them astrology haha One with the S/moon outwardly emotional and the little moon/pluto holds it in. But you can see it brewing... 

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@soup Thanks and yes, E. Smart went through a transforming experience and learned to survive and see her freedom. For a child, she seemed much older than her age.

I hope your grandkids won't have to deal with too much in thei lives, but I hope they will be strong enough to handle all life's curve balls.

My husband's nephew, a Pisces with Saturn in Scorpio on his Ascendant is nine and lost both his mom and the man who he knew as his dad. Both died. His bio-dad took him and cut his mom's family from his life, then put him in a home for disturbed children.

I do think Scorpios and Capricorns have a tough lives in some form or another. But, they are strong and rise to fight their way through life. 

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Elsa
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Feeling much better. I think this must have been a flare, inflammation that pressured a nerve. It's completely resolved tonight.

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@elsa  Great to hear, hope it stays that way!

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Elsa
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Thank you!

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@elsa I'm glad you're feeling better. I would still go to the Dr. though. Just in case.

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@soup I'm seeing the back doc in July - just yearly spine check.

I will probably cancel the PC doc appt. I made the appt to perhaps get some pain meds. I think I will just ask him for an rx at my regular checkup.  The condition of my spine is undeniable and I hate drugs. I'm just going to ask him for 30 pills intended to last six months. That should be plenty.

I admit, I am pulling away from trad. medicine. I have a lot of company with this but also my grandfather! No doctor visits for 50 years? I am coming to see that the body will heal itself if you give it a little time.

It's weird. You tend to discount the older people in your life... and then find out they were right about a lot of things.

 

 

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@elsa 

So true!  If you have a Traditional Chinese Medicine practitioner in your area, you might look into acupuncture if you haven't already.  It helps many.

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@elsa The more I learn about inflammation the more I see it as the most important thing to address as far as physical health.

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Elsa
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@libra-noir yes yes yes... inflammation!!!!! Do anything to NOT have it. I have really watched my diet but not for anything more than inflammatory responses.. and that can be different for different people. What I can eat might cause someone else to become inflamed..

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1905 bayonet

My brother-in-law found one of these on our property. It's a WW1 bayonet from 1908.

My husband likes this stuff. I looked for blood on it. 

I know, I know. But 8th house. Smile

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@elsa Awesome! A bayonet from 1777 was found on my parent's property. When they decided they wanted to buy the house, my dad's one condition was that the bayonet come with it! My mom designed a nice plaque and eventually had it mounted. Very cool weapon to have in the house!

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Elsa
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@cocopeaches its vicious looking.  Just - jeeeeez.

My husband loves this stuff though. Smile

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@elsa that is awesome! I love stuff like this too.. Aries and all. 
My favorite movies are war movies lol

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Elsa
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Posted by: @soup

I am leaning against a tree, holding my two-year-old sister on my hip and my 4-year-old sister is leaning against my leg. I am the adult again on this day. But I have no way to control this catastrophe unfolding before my eyes nor anyway to protect my siblings from it.

Fuck a duck.

That's my response. Wth is wrong with people. Just got to get your rocks off, I guess.

I think you'll be okay. WILL it.

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@elsa I could not believe my eyes. And it burned to the ground. We had nothing left. He just decided. He was going to show her. Thing is, we had no home or anything left. Not a toy. Nothing. We started over with nothing. I think back to that and I wonder how deep the mental illness had to be. I have no idea how any of us survived those people. But I can report that they did. Oh.. I have said this before I think... they all have Scorpio moons. 

I remember something you said to me a very long time ago. You said... DO NOT SPEAK IT OR THINK IT INTO EXISTANCE!

I will never forget that. You were telling me to mind, my mind!!! Think about what I think about! And since, I do. Funny how someone can tell you something ... just one line... and it sticks with you like the best advice from that time on. 

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Neighbor who works for Sam's Club says that Walmart has bought everything under the sun - they're now trying to get it into their stores.

Sam's is not really running out of anything but is planning to start shipping from their stores (via ups and such).

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