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What Do Children Owe Their Parents?
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Kumquat
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Thursday, August 9, 2018 - 6:03 pm
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Yes, it’s true they didn’t ask to be born. 🙂

How much should your child appreciate what you do? 

On the one hand, parents can and do sacrifice for their kids. On the other hand, it’s their responsibility to provide for them.

On the one hand, I think kids should appreciate what their parents do for them. On the other hand, I don’t think they should ever feel like they don’t deserve to be taken care of and have to acknowledge it all the time. 

Guilt is terrible for kids, but so is being unappreciated for parents. 

Where is the balance? 

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Tam
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Thursday, August 9, 2018 - 7:05 pm
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I have overheard in conversations that it balances out when the grandchildren arrive. The now children have to walk in the shoes of their parents. 

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Ann
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Thursday, August 9, 2018 - 7:17 pm
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The answer will prob vary based on people’s relationships with their own parents. 

My parents are great. I appreciate them and it became even more obvious once I had my own kids. 

I’m big on reciprocating the love. My parents never have to worry as long as I’m around. 

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anonymoushermit
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Friday, August 10, 2018 - 12:58 am
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They were very flawed people. Wounded. They deserve my sympathy, forgiveness, and understanding. I’ll love them from far away. They were a bit mental, but who isn’t? laugh laugh laugh

They don’t deserve a closer relationship, though! Don’t want to be their door mat. shrug_gif

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allie120
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Friday, August 10, 2018 - 4:03 pm
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I think good parenting involves teaching appreciation and respect for what others do for you (parents and others). So this can be taught by example and it can be taught by writing thank you notes for gifts, by teaching a child to show their appreciation by reciprocating the kindness.

So there is a balance that will be taught and shown. 

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Elsa
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Friday, August 10, 2018 - 4:49 pm
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In most cases they owe them some gratitude at the very least.

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thenewboy
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Friday, August 10, 2018 - 6:05 pm
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Only to attempt to both recognize, as well as try to understand, that they did the best they could, and that no matter what — it ALL got us to now

thenewboy

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JoFrance
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Friday, August 10, 2018 - 7:03 pm
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My parents were two troubled people with their own problems and I wanted to help them as much as I could.  It just came from the heart.  I listened to them.  My mom taught me so many things and my dad taught me to be an independent woman.

I had a very turbulent childhood, but despite that, they raised me and I respected them for that.

I think a lot of kids should be very happy if they have good parents, but even if they don’t there are still good things to get.

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soup
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Sunday, August 12, 2018 - 12:51 pm
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Oh, they are some troubled souls.

God bless em….they are still two people that you watch and say…I will do the exact opposite of what you are doing. I knew this at 5 years old.

They are still alive. They are kind of like cartoon characters of what they used to be. But, one is pushing 80 and the other is 81. How are you going to be angry at an 80 year old person?  Plus, not worth it for my soul.

I owe them respect when I speak to them. And, I owe them thanks for my life because if not for them I would not be here. While they were solid drama which is nothing a child should be in there were times when I knew that they would tear someone limb from limb if they hurt me.

Its surprising what you are thankful for later down the road. I look at the little Sag and she is the spitting image of my dad. You wont get away from them. I look at the little Aries and I see my mothers cheeks….the little Gemini has my fathers nose and my mothers bone structure. Its all there. If not for them those little tiny folks wouldn’t be here. So, I am grateful.

If my mother calls, I will be there as fast as I can drive there. Nothing she has ever done will change that.

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Sue Ellen
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Sunday, August 12, 2018 - 1:35 pm
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Odd this should come up as my husband and his family are dealing with an aged mother. They are scrambling.

The answer to the question depends on the individual situation. Love grows love. Contempt grows contempt.

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Glenn
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Wednesday, August 15, 2018 - 9:03 am
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Alcoholism runs rampant in my Family…. at least my part of the Family Tree. So for me, contempt from the “never know mood Pop is in Today”, and respect for completely turning around his life. He became highly respected in the community. Mom…. always cherish and put her on a pedestal.

Mixed bag overall.

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Sunday, August 19, 2018 - 4:16 pm
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Sociopathic and narcissistic parents aren’t owed anything, just a drive to the therapist, or shrink.

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Tango
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Wednesday, August 22, 2018 - 10:08 pm
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I don’t think anybody “owes” anybody anything, other than basic respect – whether that be parents or anybody else on the planet.

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Libra Noir
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Wednesday, August 22, 2018 - 11:08 pm
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I dont think kids owe their parents anything. I do things for my son because he cant do them for himself.

Appreciation is nice when I get it, but Im fulfilling my duty as a mother, and because I love him. The sacrifices that Ive made, Ive made willingly. 

I think the balance is when the parent doesnt begrudge the child for the things they gave up for them and sees that their investment was worthwhile on some level, even if the child doesn’t recognize it. 

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