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Random Thoughts Thread 2
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PurpleStarGirl
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Monday, May 18, 2020 - 10:10 pm
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He lives in the same city as I do. We’re in Phase One of reopening for our county. 

I just think it was kind of stupid for him to make a comment about about being worried about me in regards to my trying to keep a conversation with him. I was teasing him a bit and had to clarify a comment I made about it not being perverted or sexual in any way and then he made the comment that he worried about me sometimes. If he wanted me to shut  the fuck up, he should have said something instead of making it seem that I’m not right in the head.

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anonymoushermit
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Monday, May 18, 2020 - 10:40 pm
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I forgot, you have a 3rd house stellium. You like to talk, LOL!

Perhaps, he was just in a mood that day. Also, he’s older than you.

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PurpleStarGirl
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Monday, May 18, 2020 - 10:59 pm
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Aren’t 3rd house stellium people interesting conversationalists? Because I think I am. I’m definitely a quirky talker and there’s nothing wrong with that.

It happened earlier today. And yeah, the age difference is 15 years. Sometimes I don’t know why I bother remaining friends with him.

He also doesn’t shut up sometimes and often puts his foot in his mouth when he talks. 

It just stings that he thinks something’s wrong with me in the head. He knows I’m in therapy for shit so saying  a comment like that was uncalled for. 

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Monday, May 18, 2020 - 11:26 pm
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He’s projecting! 

I don’t know much about 3rd house stelliums. Just that people with that stellium have 3rd house things enter their lives a lot, LMAO.

As for therapy, how is it going so far? 

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PurpleStarGirl
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Monday, May 18, 2020 - 11:38 pm
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Funny you mention projection because I honestly think he sees things in me that he doesn’t like about himself or won’t face. I know everything I don’t like about him are things I hate about about myself such as not facing my personal demons and I am honestly trying to heal from that shit and move forward. He actually once told me that he used to do the same thing I did when it came to saying whatever was on my mind. How’s that for mirror image? Shit like that weirds me out.

I actually like my therapy sessions. I can actually verbalize my problems with my psychologist and make sense from them. I’ve realized that my anxiety in my household is a survival mechanism because I can’t anticipate the moods of other people. I don’t know if someone will be happy or in a shitty mood and project that onto me because they don’t know how to deal with it themselves. I’m just surviving, which is typical of someone with Scorpio ASC.

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NotMyCircus
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Monday, May 18, 2020 - 10:00 pm
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Lately I’ve noticed that I’m revisiting the “Sarah, Plain and Tall” movie series as well as the “Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman” series. I think it’s the hard-luck themes that resonated with me during the lockdowns, although let’s be honest, we had it WAAYYYYY easier here in the South than up North or on the West Coast. Also the themes of resilience and flexibility in the face of change. Sarah moved from coastal Maine to rural Kansas, Dr. Quinn moved from downtown Boston to the wild West. 

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anonymoushermit
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Monday, May 18, 2020 - 11:43 pm
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PurpleStarGirl said
Funny you mention projection because I honestly think he sees things in me that he doesn’t like about himself or won’t face. I know everything I don’t like about him are things I hate about about myself such as not facing my personal demons and I am honestly trying to heal from that shit and move forward. He actually once told me that he used to do the same thing I did when it came to saying whatever was on my mind. How’s that for mirror image? Shit like that weirds me out.

I actually like my therapy sessions. I can actually verbalize my problems with my psychologist and make sense from them. I’ve realized that my anxiety in my household is a survival mechanism because I can’t anticipate the moods of other people. I don’t know if someone will be happy or in a shitty mood and project that onto me because they don’t know how to deal with it themselves. I’m just surviving, which is typical of someone with Scorpio ASC.

  

Wow, that’s not good that you always have to be anxious all the time, like you always have to be on guard.

Honestly, it just sounds like the best thing for you to do right now is to get therapy (which you are doing now) and then get a job ASAP! It’s not healthy to live in such an unstable environment. 

Honestly, the only way to get rid of anxiety is to be away from anxious people, or people who cause you anxiety. At the least, you could just limit time with the people who give you anxiety!

Finding a job ASAP would help you a lot in lessening your anxiety.

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PurpleStarGirl
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Monday, May 18, 2020 - 11:50 pm
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It’s not. And having a job would help with the anxiety because I’m actually doing something and keeping my mind occupied. Plus, I like being self-sufficient. That’s Capricorn, right? Lol.

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anonymoushermit
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Monday, May 18, 2020 - 11:59 pm
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I’m sleepy. I’m going to bed. C’ya around.

In my opinion, a Capricorn could beat a Scorpio! wink

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PurpleStarGirl
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Tuesday, May 19, 2020 - 12:01 am
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I have both! Capricorn Sun with Scorpio Rising. 😉

I beat myself up all the time. Haha. Good night, AH.

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Tuesday, May 19, 2020 - 4:05 am
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I am getting cold feet with the move. The closer it gets the more freaked out I get. I know we have no choice and we have to go but I really don’t want to right now. Here I am up in the middle of the night again… (Uranus) 

I have been watching all my neighbors doing nice things with their yards and homes. A lot of young people have moved into the neighborhood and they are really making these historic homes gorgeous. I love it here in the spring and summer… but the winters are long and gray… and very cold. We are stuck inside for months on end – and that is when I hate it. 

I am having a terrible time trying to find a suitable home in N. Georgia. I don’t think I have found one that has a flat back yard. I have looked in every city from Gainesville to the west side (all North of Atlanta) and I am not thrilled with any of it. 

There is a dumpster on the street now and we are going through the purge. Very hard for a Taurus moon to give up all her saved treasures…. all my grandmothers and great grandmothers things… they have to go. 

I am going to miss home. I hope it doesn’t ruin us. I have moved twice in my life and both times came running back and left the man where he was eek

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Tuesday, May 19, 2020 - 5:50 am
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(((((soup))))))

All these ghosts coming back to haunt. You’re not going to repeat! You’ve grown up and know better.

If you do not have a flat backyard, you may learn something new – the advantages of such a thing.

I’m serious! I live on a highway. Who wants that??? I was so baffled as to why people build their great homes right on the damned highway.  STUPID. But now I have adapted. I get it.  The house is great, right where it is.

You’re FIXED. Change is hard. You’re being uprooted but it is for your liberation.  It’s going to be okay! 

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soup
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Tuesday, May 19, 2020 - 12:52 pm
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It is hard…. 

All the letting go. I have a firm grip on all my belongings. So hard to release them from my hands. 

Plus, he is being a huge dick right now. Screaming and yelling and huffing and puffing, eye rolling. I have been allowing it for whatever reason. I just turn up the music when it starts…. He is about to get the worst tongue lashing of our marriage if he keeps it up. Delusional bullshit…. Its like his head is straight up his ass…. 

I don’t like him very much right now. At all. 

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NotMyCircus
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Tuesday, May 19, 2020 - 9:43 pm
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Yeah, most of north Georgia isn’t flat. I had to get used to that when we moved here! To this day some of the mountain roads scare me. Steep driveways are a feature people here seem to like, too, sometimes. I knew of a guy with a driveway so steep it was nearly 90 degrees up! His wheelchair would stall out on the way uphill sometimes. (I never had to work with him, I just heard the nightmare stories. LOL) 

The hills aren’t for everybody, but they sure are fun to coast downhill on. 

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Tuesday, May 19, 2020 - 11:39 pm
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Stop that purging, don’t traumatize yourself even more. You will rue the day over and over if you toss sentimental things now. I speak from experience!

Keep a small storage unit there for now, or at least donate them to a nice vintage shop. If you’re renting out your house for now, is there a place to lock them into in the basement or attic?

It’s always better to rent for a few months when moving to a new and unfamiliar place. Take your time to get to know the area really well before you buy. Every neighborhood has its own character to reveal.

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