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Neptune: Do you feel bad for people who deceive themselves?
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allie120
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Tuesday, March 12, 2019 - 12:18 pm
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I have a friend who was with a really crappy guy (my BIL, in fact). I really loved her being a part of the family and she is very dear to me, but she was so unhappy with him. We would talk and vent. I encouraged her to get help and dump him (I really wish things would be better and he was not an asshole but what can you do). She’d cry to me, say she would dump him, then go back. Over and over and over. I realize that this can be a complex situation with abuse and self-esteem issues. I was really getting frustrated with her and that is awful. You can’t make someone do something and you should be there for a friend. And it’s easier said than done, me reminding her of every thing he did to her (she wanted me to do that) and her just going off to spend the weekend with him again. I felt guilty when I didn’t want to hear her sometimes. But that was wrong. 

Anyway, she did end up leaving him, or rather, not calling him when he ghosted her. So she’s definitely happy now because without my BIL, it was an open opportunity for her to meet someone.

Long story, but sometimes you do feel like bashing your head in the wall when you see someone, as a person with a different POV and standing outside the situation, doing these things.

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anonymoushermit, Poppy
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anonymoushermit
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Wednesday, March 13, 2019 - 3:32 am
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Wow, what a rough situation. I bet it tested your patience at times.

It can be hard listening to someone if they keep doing the same thing over and over again. Glad she left him. 

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allie120
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allie120
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Wednesday, March 13, 2019 - 9:26 am
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I wanted to go punch him and drag her away sometimes lol. But she had to do it on her own and she did (it wasn’t a deadly situation, thank God). And she didn’t end up selling her home and moving in with him.Thank God! I gave her hell for even considering it. Without her own home, she would have been far in the hole.

I feel like this could easily be so many of us, though 🙁

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elisa, Poppy
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