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surd
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I am trying to stay positive. However feel so drained.

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Occhineri
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@surd It’s so hard; try to rest if you can. Sending you strength.

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surd
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@occhineri thank you for your support, I actually could get some sleep.

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surd
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Each day feels like a mountain. I am also feeling ashamed not being able to recover my my self esteem, I don't want to sound as a victim. I am so dumb to be in this situation. I am completely responsible for not evaluating the cons of my decisions. 

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LN
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@surd You have no need for any shame. Everyone has felt the same way about certain decisions that they have made. It is only the areas in life that differ. No one ever was a complete master of every area in their life. Amongst humanity, blind spots abound. It's just the nature of being human. 

You are being hit by some hard energies right now. It is a bomb under a blanket. The blanket does not offer you any real protection. You need energy to fight this thing. Try to build back up by not being hard on yourself. Give yourself permission to be good to yourself especially when others are not good to you.

 

 

 

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Occhineri
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@ln This is great advice.

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surd
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I gathered courage and tried to reason with people around me. Got positive response until somebody brainwashed the bosses and turned everything against me and made things even tougher. It is so draining, seems like I am done and stick in this rutt for God knows how long. 

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Justin
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It is! Thank you Surd. I was going to send you a note later to apologise for quoting Astrology.com, as it was supposed to be Astro.com... but you have found it. ? I'll have a look later and get back to you later ?

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Poppy
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Good morning, Surd.  ? 

Reading this thread, this topic for the first time, this morning.  What a gift you're making, by writing about confronting - despite multiple odds - the difficulties coworkers are making for you.  That, dear sir, is one way among many ways that Venus in Pisces natives spread universal love.  Venus is exalted (beautiful) in Pisces.  By writing about your current hardship, and asking for words of hope, you're teaching through sharing... natal Mars Jupiter conjunction showing brightly.

Someone else, after you, can find hope too, when they too, crossing a dark valley in their life, find a fellow traveler in your words.

Elsa advised you to discern where, now, you can discern a foothold of control in your life, and build on that.  Also, she said, channel the strength of the Capricorn stellium.  Writing - contributing to Elsa's library of astrology here, is one of those positive steps.  Another person, lacking your eloquence, will be able to find a glimmer of hope for himself, for herself, by reading your entry about feeling distress, yet daring to ask.

Another wise person, Edward Hallowell, has said * that he's discovered that he needs to work on big personal projects (i.e. writing a book, in which he shares his experiences, and the insights gained).  That silences the evil, denigrating voice in the back of his mind which says nasty things.

* Podcast interview with Jessica McCabe, on her channel, How To ADHD.

Which reminds me... Satori's wise words, "feed your Moon."  Moon in Leo: scalp massage, when you put on conditioner - coconut oil is excellent.  Steam bath/sauna, too, maybe.  Can you take 30-45 minutes away from your work, mid-day?  If you prepare food in containers, planning it so half of it is dark green vegetables (somewhat cooked, like stir fried, makes their nutrients more accessible) and at least 1/4 is protein (animal or lentil), and the rest yam or potato... or rice, or even noodles.  If you *can* get outside of work, to eat, if you have already a nourishing meal prepared - in containers in a bag - then you can find a quiet spot in the sun, or an atrium, or anywhere pleasing, to eat in peace.  An oasis, for you.

Final thought, my housemate shares your Leo Moon placement.  He's older - has less hair follicles, thus less hair - the selenium in his shampoo is for the skin under his hair & his beard... Oh yeah, almost forgot.  If you have a beard, trimming your beard to a tidy shape is Excellent self confidence care for a Leo Moon man.  Depending on the width of your shoulders, and the shape of your head, if fedora hats suit you (narrower shoulders, trilby hats) I strongly advise, consider it.  But maybe you rock a turban, already?

Thank you, Surd, for making a place where we can talk about living well through difficult circumstances.

Virgo smiley

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surd
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@poppy good evening!! Thank you so very much for your kind words and advice.

Honestly speaking I just shared my situation to seek hope and support for myself from this beautiful forum nurtured by Elsa. You are very kind to look it from a wider and more magnanimous lense.

I hope somebody will find courage to navigate through their challenges from this post, especially celebrating the basic human thread that we wish well and care for eachother. 

I will share about my situation a little, I have kind of moved on from the pain part of it. I can see the misery of those who inflict pain towards me and see through their insecurities. My sense of belief that the universe is benevolent and will take care of me has grown many folds. Basically i have reagined faith thanks to the support from ElsaElsa folks. This is not a stable state yet, and I do vacillate to my previous self sometimes. However I am very positive now.

Yes Sir the turban keeps me sane. 

Thank you again for your time and efforts. For someone who seeks hope, the forum is full of kind, humble and extremely intelligent souls. You are safe here, go ahead and ask for support. May all stay blessed.

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jana
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@surd

I'm glad you feel better Surd Smile You are nice person. 

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surd
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@jana thanks to all of you.

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Poppy
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Surd, we're all blessed, that you've found compassion for your oppressors.  Especially blessed that you got there internally, by accessing your basic values.  I have a Gemini Moon, so, I find huge humour in the commonality of values, and subsequent actions, across all our different beliefs.

Thank you, dearly, for sharing your difficult experiences.

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