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Longing for Death: the eighth house? Grief
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pepe
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Wednesday, July 15, 2020 - 11:36 pm
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I’m posing this question as I’m currently going through the grieving process and I’m waiting to see a counselor. 

Is it possible to long for death without considering yourself suicidal?

I just lost my husband and partner of 10 years to cancer. He was 35. In my 34 years of life I’ve been through a boot camp of shit including losing my ability to walk due to a spinal infection; this has left my lower body stiff and in pain every minute all day and all night. I long to just be with him in the spirit world already. 
I read somewhere that this is a Moon/Pluto 8th house thing; to long for death as something to conquer. 
Do not worry! I do NOT consider myself suicidal; I just want to go with him. I miss him so much.

I feel terrible for unloading this crap on to this forum. I just want to hear from anyone out there going through the grieving process. 

I just long for death and to know what’s on the other side. I’m desperately hoping and praying that there’s more over there and I want to see my love again. Is this strange? 

Thanks in advance for your stories and replies.

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Warped by Wuthering Heights
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pepe
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Thursday, July 16, 2020 - 1:44 am
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Soph-tee-clees
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Thursday, July 16, 2020 - 12:15 am
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Well, from someone who has had a suicide attempt I will tell you if you do try and go there, the feelings you will get at what is “beyond the veil” may not be comforting. Our survival sense is very strong as well.

I do not have experience with grief the reason for me was abject terror. On another note though here is a piece of music.

Drop your chart, this is an astrology forum always drop your chart.

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Warped by Wuthering Heights
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Curl
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Thursday, July 16, 2020 - 12:42 pm
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It would be irresponsible for me to offer any advice – astrological or emotional. I am not qualified and I can’t even imagine the depth of your grief. I just had the impulse of coming over to say that I wish i could hold your hand or hug you. 

Looking at your chart, I also felt a similar impulse to tell you that your talent and the depth of your grief is a toolset that can save so many. Once you have overcome your demons, your shadow work can be the shining light in the darkness for others. 

I hope and pray you find the guidance and strength. I am rooting for you. 

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Osiris Wife
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Thursday, July 16, 2020 - 12:51 pm
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I am so sorry for your loss.

Transit Neptune in Pisces exact opposite n.Neptune can be very confusing; easily blurs what’s real and what’s unreal as Neptune seems to dissolves the lines of rational thought, mind. So it is very heart warming to hear that a counselor will assist you through your grief.

Sending love heart

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Warped by Wuthering Heights, Opalina, Curl
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Thursday, July 16, 2020 - 2:02 pm
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I’m really sorry, pepe.  What a terrible loss to suffer.

I give longing to die to Neptune in Scorpio / 8th, Pluto in the 12th, etc. I am really sorry you and he were dealt this card.

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Thursday, July 16, 2020 - 7:53 pm
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A little over 14 years ago I lost my younger brother to cancer, lymphoma. He died 3 days after turning 19. He was my rock, my mentor and was always there for me. He chose to go, due to the tremendous pain he was constantly in. I also had my best friend die in front of everyone when 14.

Mourning isn’t easy and one can quickly become enraged and blame everyone about the situation, or become depressed, pine, or more. That’s normal. In fact, everything you feel is OK.

I’m unaware of who you are: if you are religious, read, what you do or don’t do.

If I were to suggest anything, it’s to not hold the story and emotions in. You’re allowed to act in many ways: brave, sad, scared, a victim. But you are also allowed to graduate from those emotions to a fair degree, but just know that the story that you are telling yourself now will change and grow.

The idea of who you are now will die. The physical self dying, well that’s another topic which is why I asked if you read any religious literature. I could suggest books if you would like.

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Warped by Wuthering Heights, Opalina, Curl
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Thursday, July 16, 2020 - 10:43 pm
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Pepe..I lost my husband in April of 2019. I know how you are feeling. Its like If I could have willed myself to die I would have. I missed him so much. Of course suicide is out of the question because its not fair to put that kind of burden on others ,so we suffer.

 It will get better. You might find that it comes in waves. Just keep in mind the feeling will recede. Counseling is great. I found facebook widow groups very helpful as most have alot of the same thoughts and feelings as I do.

I have my scorp sun, mercury and saturn in the 12th. The pluto, saturn transit has been in my 2nd house. I have lost alot of what I valued. I am grateful for what I still have.

  You will come through this. 

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Warped by Wuthering Heights, Curl
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Thursday, July 16, 2020 - 10:45 pm
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Virgo Moon in 8th house here.

Fourteen years ago when transiting Uranus opposed my Moon, my ex-husband died of a sudden heart attack that I blamed myself for.  For a moment I considered suicide, but immediately dismissed it in fear that I might end up eternally trapped in the grief and horror of that day. 

I found a therapist I could yell at in my self hating rage. Went to work, a blessed distraction, wide awake with only a few hours of troubled sleep nightly.  Found a church with daily evening services where I found a sacred stillness, and made new friends. Consumed countless books about grief, the afterlife, religion, psychology, astrology. Tried to figure it all out, understand the big picture.

After nearly a year I realized I no longer wished to be dead. I found a wonderful new apartment, restored rescued treasures, threw myself into online volunteer work for pet rescue, eventually adopted a dog, explored my neighborhood on foot with him for hours daily, started reading for pleasure again.

It’s a tired cliche’ but it really was true; time did heal me. May God bless you with healing and peace.

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