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Eleanor D
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Sounds like quite a few of us are experiencing a rebellious streak at the moment. To quote Hades Moon:

'finger up at authority'

Ha! That's exactly how I feel! So sick of the BS! That Uranus energy is really kicking in - simple suspicion and disbelief has now morphed into a real 'up yours' attitude laced with plenty of contrarian stubborness. My motto: 'Whatever the government wants you to do, do the opposite thing.' 

(You can probably tell I have tr. Uranus square my 11th House Sun, also loosely squared my Mercury & Uranus right now).

That Uranian energy, coupled with some really good Jupiterian aspects has been amazingly positive for me - I've had a fantastic lucky streak lasting nearly a month now. I'm having fun in spite of all their best efforts to kill everyone's joy - just to spite them.  

Refuse to let the b*stards grind you down! 

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CocoPeaches
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I have gone through just about every emotion possible in the past 48 hours. I don't usually feel angry, but right now I feel very angry about what my husband has to go through because of his parents' divorce. He's an only child, and his parents divorced when he was 18. They are cordial, but there's so much animosity, and neither of them are totally innocent. My husband is very close with his mom, as am I. His relationship with his father isn't the best, but he still tries to be a good son and supports his dad as much as he is able.

His dad has a wedding planned for this weekend, and it will be his 3rd marriage. This past Monday, my husband and I visited with my FIL and discussed what we would wear to the "cowboy and cowgirl" themed party which will follow a church wedding. Later that day my husband and I were both sent ice-cold text messages from the fiance (all because my FIL lied to her and told her that we didn't call before we came to the house - Red flag! Why did he feel the need to lie about that anyway?) Due to that misunderstanding, we got uninvited from the wedding. Yikes! My husband was too hotheaded to speak to anyone after that, so I spent 20 min on the phone trying to reason with the fiance (without hurting my FIL's feelings who I knew was on speaker phone) but had no luck. Then I was fuming. My husband was incredibly hurt, afraid he'd never talk to his dad again, and seriously scared that his dad might hurt or kill himself, or his fiance, or us. We didn't sleep a wink. Full moon. Then yesterday morning the wedding was called off. A breakup would cause enormous financial burden for my FIL, but still - what a relief! And yet, too good to be true... Of course by the end of the day the wedding was back on, and we are expected to attend. WTF.

I've got 100 other complicated things to deal with in my personal life, but right now I'm stumped on what to say to smooth things over with a bride-zilla who is twice my age and just pulled all of that. She sent me a text asking me to call her. Honestly I think she's an obnoxious, moronic, control freak, drama queen, psycho bitch, and I want nothing to do with her and I think the marriage is a terrible idea! My Sagittarius moon prefers to be blunt in these situations but it's my turn to say something nice or else the tension will end up back on my husband... what can I possibly say?

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NotMyCircus
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@cocopeaches Why are you having to talk to his family? HE needs to handle them. 

Block her number. Don't respond to her texts. Boycott the wedding.

(He can go if he wants to torture himself.)

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CocoPeaches
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@blue_rose LOL I can't leave him hanging like that. We do everything as a team. My husband and his dad are fine! Not ideal, but they have an understanding and it works for them. It's this crazy woman who wants to control their relationship, and expects us to treat her like some kind of Queen Bee. This started to fester because she was insecure that my husband didn't like her (he doesn't) and wanted us to spend time with her (we've kept it to a minimum)...

I've ignored her text for a couple of days now, and I guess I don't need to say anything to her, but I just feel it would be kind to give her a few words of encouragement before their big day, because I really do want them to be happy together, and I don't want any more tension to fester. South node in Libra, I guess.

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Sue Ellen
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@cocopeaches

I wish I had some words of wisdom. I can only think of curse words.  This is way too much drama for anybody, even a Leo. 

I tend to avoid such circumstances. Uninvited once would stand for eternity for me. No re-invited would be accepted. But that's me and I am far from perfect. 

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CocoPeaches
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@sue-ellen Way too much drama. I tend to avoid this brand of BS too. But this is my husband's father, and I committed to loving the whole kit and caboodle when I married him. I suppose I had a chance to put my foot down with my FIL's date to my own wedding. That was a different woman and a whole different kind of train wreck... but I chose to embrace it. My poor mother-in-law....

The good thing is that my husband is the type of person who sees "what not to do" when he looks at his father, and he's really intent on breaking the cycle, while accepting and loving his dad as much as humanly possible. My husband happens to have had an abundance of positive father figures in his life, so it's kind of like a role reversal of the parent-child dynamic.

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Warped by Wuthering Heights
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@cocopeaches, why does your poor clueless FIL keep getting married?  Are there things about her that would make him call it off if he knew?  It's not too late.  Either way she's going to cost him financially...

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CocoPeaches
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@warped-by-wuthering-heights He will never call it off because he's desperate. She's got him by the balls.

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CrisLondon
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@cocopeaches

If you decide to talk to her (although like NMC, I think it's more your husband's part to talk to his family) then 'brief and calm and sweet' might be best.

You shared: that your husband feared his father would be violent (towards self or others), that his father lied about something so inconsequential that created a huge reaction, that your husband's parents' acrimonious relationship dynamics are long term, and that the wedding was called off...it's clear that mental health and toxic interpersonal and intrapersonal dynamics are at play. Big time.

The father and fiance need to manage their own business...

This year with Covid-19 and the general astrology...tough times...unnecessary drama, in my opinion, is not that welcome this year. 

Best of luck with focusing on the two of you and on the blessings in your marriage!

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CocoPeaches
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@cris I think you hit the nail on the head. My FIL and his fiance need to manage their own business, and I believe they both need therapy - but I'm not holding my breath.

My therapist told me to "bring my best self" to the wedding. That way, I might not be able to make anything better, but at least I won't make it any worse. Since it's a cowboy/cowgirl dress-up theme wedding, my husband and I already decided that we will role-play as a pastor and his wife whom we know personally. We'll do our best to channel their super kind and super positive energy. And we will get in and get out as quickly as possible. Costumes, masks, and social distancing will actually make that quite easy.

Thank you for your well wishes!

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JoFrance
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@cocopeaches, The therapist gave you good advice. Your FIL will have to live with his bridezilla. If it makes him happy, even if its not forever, its his life. Some older men like to have a woman around to take care of them. They need that, even if the woman makes them miserable most of the time. Some people love to fight with each other and they consider that a relationship.

You're doing the right thing to just go. Wish your FIL and his new bridezilla the best and leave it at that. I hope your father doesn't have money or assets bridezilla can get her hands on. If he does, I'd keep an eye on her.

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NotMyCircus
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Well....I talked to one of my housemate's daughters today.

She told me her mom has no memory of what happened the other night!

She also has no recollection of the blitz of texts she sent her sister saying "they're nasty" "they are liars" "don't trust them!" (referring to me and both of her daughters).

Her daughter knows about the texts because her mom accidentally sent them to her as well!

Okay, Pisces full moon and Saturn/Venus--good work. You just blew up a family.

Oh well, I'll just give the housemate her meals and her pills til I run for the hills! 

 

Cool

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Sue Ellen
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@blue_rose

This is nuts.  Did the daughters know how bad their mother was before they asked you to move in?  I fear not.  I don't remember reading any comments from you on the dementia being this advanced. I can see where a live-in helper would be been useful, but it sounds like she is past that.  

As you know better than I, it will only get worse. 

Hopefully, you can get some relief.  I know it's a long-shot, but would they rent to you, at least for a little while, if they send her to a long term care facility? 

Things will look up. 

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NotMyCircus
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@sue-ellen The daughters had been warned of potential personality/behavior changes by her doctor. But they had never seen it for themselves. It was unnerving for them when it finally happened. 

No, they wouldn't be able to rent to me. They will have to sell the house and likely most of her things just to cover assisted living costs. The set-up we had, saved them money on A.L. (and helped me quickly build a financial cushion! No rent payments and I was paid to take care of her. I was also able to continue working outside the home because her care was minimal.). 

I have another opportunity to work as a live-in caregiver but it sounds like I would have to quit both my jobs to do it. The lady is wheelchair-bound and needs help pretty much throughout the day. I'm iffy about it after this experience. Her mind is fine, thankfully. I also don't know if I would be paid or just work for room and board. I have debts to pay off so I have to make an income. 

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Vesta
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@blue_rose My heart breaks for you and their whole family. Hopefully a good solution can be found for all. Its truly shocking to know how helpless care workers are, and under how much duress. I wish you find a stable living and income situation soon.

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Warped by Wuthering Heights
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@blue_rose

If she wants you, she'll pay you. Be firm in your requirement for a competitive salary. Research the compensation for such a position in similar areas with staffing agencies or websites. 

The dementia lady is scared and angry about her loss of independence. It's a terrifying prospect of ageing. Her dementia makes her even more unable to accept it graciously, if anyone ever really can.  You can't work miracles.

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JoFrance
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@blue_rose, I'm sure they know how bad their Mom is.  What happened to you is most likely not an isolated incident.  They were just hoping they didn't have to go the assisted living route with her.

Maybe they would rent a room to you for awhile, but the best bet for you is to get outta there.

Its very sad what happens to older people and what a toll it takes on families trying to take care of them.  

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CrisLondon
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I'm feeling somewhat settled today with some underlining anxiety because of work problems.

Can't do much for now to sort them (have done as much as I can this week) so I'll focus on the mundane and getting by for now.

TV shows and films and great reading are my soul food right now (neptune transit and energies.) I really lowered some of my expectations this Covid year and I'm so glad I did - the right call!

'Good enough' days are great!

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Nan888
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Just plain busy and plan on keeping it that way. Nose to the grindstone mode, prob. moreso w/ Mars Rx. 

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CocoPeaches
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Now I just feel drained. I spent the better part of the afternoon on the phone with my health insurance company and several doctors offices. I spoke with some very lovely Anns, Courtneys, Michelles, and Danielles... I cried three times. Made some progress. I need to see a neurologist.

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