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JoFrance
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Oh, that doesn't sound like a good situation for you.  I would start looking for a new place to live and go back to having clients you visit.  You can always get rid of a client that doesn't work out, but if you're living in their house its so much harder.

You must have the patience of a saint to put up with your new housemate.  God bless you.  In the end, I think she's destined for the assisted living home.

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CrisLondon
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Wise words, JoFrance.

Good luck, NMC! Hug

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Vesta
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I feel waves of sadness that come and go. But I am ready. 

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CrisLondon
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I feel:

- slightly bereft (Chadwick Boseman was one of my favourite actors and he's died recently)

- very spaced out (this can happen with my natal neptune and pisces activity but I'm having a 2 degree orb - separation - transit of Neptune to my Sun so it's intensified)

- still on vacation mode (won't last long but that's ok of course)

- raw (uranus transit to Ascendant and the Neptune transit are opening me up and enabling a huge identity crisis that was necessary and long long long due yet it's hard to navigate something like this married, I feel)

- and a little hopeful about some of my dreams

I feel 'full', basically, and it's not going away and Covid-19 life just makes everything more evident to me (I observe other kinds of awakenings happening to some of my friends)

Small talk is definitely not for me these days/months...

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CocoPeaches
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(((NotMyCircus))) I'm so sorry it's not working out as you'd hoped. Clearly you're doing the best you can do, and the daughters must be doing the best they can do. It' sounds like an all-around unfortunate situation and I hope that things ease up for you soon!

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Allie
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I think this whole lockdown/virus/rioting has fucked with me. I don’t really trust anyone or anything much. Even people I have known for 20 years. Some of this is, in part, due to an emotional valve I’d let off months prior. Some people saw this. My Virgo stellium fools people sometimes. (Elsa wrote about a Virgo’s double life.)

In addition, I’ve rarely felt “Aquarian”. I’m an Aquarius sun with Uranus making a wide conjunction to my AC. However, I am feeling wicked Aquarian lately. It’s kind of lonely, but that fixedness is super strong and a little scary.

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Hades Moon
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@allie120 Ever since Uranus entered Taurus and squared my sun, I haven’t felt quite the same. Besides insomnia, it gave me a kind of irritability/short fuse, which is still lingering today.
This pandemic has taken away the one thing us Aquarian’s value the most- our Freedom. This combined, with a feeling of totalitarianism in the air, is enough for us to feel like rebel teens wanting to stick our finger up at authority Smile  .
Uranus is the higher octave of Mercury, so we really value logic. Unfortunately, some of the current rules are not operating from a place of rationality; this really lights an Aquarian’s fire 🔥. I dunno...maybe we should become Uranian Crusaders ? Uranus new symbol  

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Allie
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@hades-moon Aha! I was thinking about Uranus the other day...it’s going through my 9H and I have Jupiter there at 16. It’s completely upending so many things that were a part of my framework. Big and little things. As small as simply walking outside to go somewhere, to sports, to organized religion and media. Some of the bigger things aren’t surprising. But I, too, am feeling particularly rebellious about it. In the back of my mind is the realization that Uranus’s shakeups are necessary? Are they? Does it lead to better? 

Anyway, I really don’t like it but maybe the more you fight, the worse it gets. Maybe fight smarter?

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NotMyCircus
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This morning, things got worse. My housemate called me out of my room first thing this morning. The minute I came out she pointed her at me  said "YOU DIRTY RAT!!! Now I know you have a mouth on you." She said some other things too. As I left she gave me a hard stare and told me to move out right now or I will throw your things out. 

So that's it. I'm done. I have to hurry up and get out of here in the next week or two. At this time she won't speak two words to me. Elsa's advice has been haunting me all day. Get the job. Keep the job. Succeeded at #1, failed at #2. Can't even work my own damn chart properly. I cannot shake the feeling that I have failed!

I am out of sorts. One of her daughters is not eating and has stopped speaking to her altogether. Can't say I blame her. 

This full moon in Pisces can suck it. It is getting the middle finger from me. All of you here, thanks for your encouragement. I cannot believe that I am having to move TWICE during a pandemic. No other housemate in my life has talked to me this way either, like I am garbage.

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Occhineri
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@blue_rose You seem like such a kind person and absolutely don’t deserve to be treated this way. I hope you can find another, peaceful home ASAP.

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Hades Moon
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@blue_rose (((NMC)))..so sorry for what you’ve been going through. I have faith that a better opportunity will arise. Praying for peace and harmony to be yours 🙏🏻🦋.

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Eleanor D
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@blue_rose

After years and years of hard graft, I've just had an awesome lucky streak lasting nearly a month. I'm so sorry to hear you're having to go through such awful experiences. You don't deserve this. If it is at all possible, I'd like to pass on some positive vibes to you. I hope this image cheers you up!:

Make a wish
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Warped by Wuthering Heights
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@blue_rose, you're too nice. She needs a firm hand, and you can't take her behavior personally, it's the dementia.

Even as a housekeeper or nanny or live-in apartment manager, having your home hinge on your job is never secure or comfortable, always puts you at a disadvantage.  The goal of your own place, even the tiniest studio apartment, and eventually to own, may depend on finding higher paying work.  Research -- there really are higher paying "outside the box" occupations you can apprentice for.  

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JoFrance
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@blue_rose, you sure don't deserve to be treated like that. I know she has dementia, but I bet she was always a royal bitch. I'm sure her family was praying that things would work out with you and her because its going to cost them all a bundle for her to go into an assisted living place - if they can find a place that will take her and her demanding personality.

I'd get out of there so fast and never look back. I'm sure they'll try to get you to stay. Don't let them guilt you into it. It'll never be good for you. Even if you can just get a room with a computer hook up to live in for now, its better than dealing with that situation.

Work on your resume and look for a job that gives you some benefits and a future. The summer is over now and businesses are reopening. There are opportunities. You belong to Toastmasters. Do some networking with them.

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Elsa
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@blue_rose I just saw this. I am so sorry! This is not your failing at all. Dementia is vicious. I hope you can not internalize this. Shit!!

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NotMyCircus
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@elsa I'm trying not to. But I'm embarrassed and depressed that I could not make this work. One of the daughters told me that if I couldn't--no one could. So yeah, it's demoralizing.

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Tam
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@blue_rose (((NMC))) I would happily choose you to care for my parents. ❤️

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NotMyCircus
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@tam  Aww, thank you! 😊

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CrisLondon
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NMC, like Elsa says, please don't internalise things and like JoFrance says, don't respond to any potential guilt-tripping from her family. If her daughter stops eating it's her prerogative and reactions.

I think I remember you're having Neptune transit to Mercury and Uranus transit to Moon - so tough. Sufficient grounding and some boundaries are a must! 

Great that you've decided to leave that situation 🙂 as it sounds fragile/non-tenable and just steps away from the need of assisted living like mentioned in the forum.

It's quite tricky the global situation right now. We have Covid-19 which has completely uprooted so many aspects of life and survival needs, there are restrictions and death...many of us are managing our mental health while making a living and adapting...very tough times.

Having a safe and separate space where you can retreat and regenerate after work/shifts is so important...

Going back to doing some Toastmasters is a great advice. I've read you talk about it with passion - good and empowering thoughts are needed right now.

You haven't failed at all! This choice is simply not the right one for you. You deserve to come first 🙂

Fingers crossed for you. Your kindness and empathy will bring you other opportunities. Lean on good friends and family and the forum and do something nice - even a tiny gesture - for yourself every day if possible. 

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Satsun
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@blue_rose

Like others here I suggest that you shouldn't take all of this lady's reactions personally and not feel guilty.

People with dementia aren't rational. Trying to rationalize and find explanations is pretty useless. And they forget their own actions too...

I hope you'll find a better situation soon.

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