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Healing Milestones
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Buendia
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Sunday, August 11, 2019 - 9:14 pm
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My question is what is the thing in your life that lets you know that you’ve reached a milestone in your healing process?

I’m not asking specifically for healing tips (though you are more than welcome to post those if you have them as I’m sure they will help someone reading). 

What I’m interested in is—what are the things, for you, that you can’t seem to do or access until you reach a certain point in your healing process, yet when you are finally able to do this thing, you are aware that THIS was what you had been waiting for, even unconsciously. It may not be the most important or significant thing, in the grand scheme of things, and it may not be the end of your process, but there’s a sense of knowing that you actually are, in fact, healing. These are the things I’ve come to think of as healing milestones. 

One healing milestone, for me, is when I can write about the event, or situation, that necessitated the healing. When I can articulate, through writing, my thoughts and feelings, about everything that happened, to completion. That’s when I really know I’m on my way. 

There might be a certain awareness, through faith and experience, that everything will work out for the best (or whatever idea or mystery works best for you), but reaching this healing milestone affirms that awareness emotionally. 

So, what are your healing milestones? 

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Libra Noir
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Sunday, August 11, 2019 - 9:56 pm
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I very much love this topic.

I know when Ive healed something when I can appreciate it, and see how it benefited me in some way, spiritually or otherwise. 

I guess Im at the point where I can just trust that everything does benefit me spiritually and I don’t necessarily need to know how. 

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Sunday, August 11, 2019 - 11:32 pm
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I think this is the inherent silver living of the 9th house. 

If we consider in one situation an eighth house that represents pain, then we can see how the ninth is representative of purpose (in pain, experience, etc). 

Libra Noir said
I guess Im at the point where I can just trust that everything does benefit me spiritually and I don’t necessarily need to know how. 

Just that you are:))

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Sunday, August 11, 2019 - 11:42 pm
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Jupiter in the ninth house:) Very much a blessing in a darker chart such as mine. 

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Sunday, August 11, 2019 - 11:52 pm
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Sun in the ninth, I very much relate.

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Sunday, August 11, 2019 - 10:00 pm
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The other day I was able to talk about the caregiver that caused Shiny Taurus so much stress and grief, that screwed us both over repeatedly–and I didn’t get worked up about it! It’s like I’m finally truly detached myself emotionally from those memories. 

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Sunday, August 11, 2019 - 11:35 pm
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This is a big one. I think I remember reading about your experiences. That’s the stuff that makes the blood hot. 

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Monday, August 12, 2019 - 6:39 pm
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When I don’t have an emotional reaction to it anymore. Basically, I’m not losing energy to it anymore.

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Tuesday, August 13, 2019 - 10:35 pm
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One of my milestones is when I can relax. Like truly relax.

It doesn’t have to be in relation to the actual thing itself, the wound. Because I know there is a spirit, a pattern which works its magic and is always commenting in some way on these things.

But when we have a problem we enter fight or flight and the process of healing in most therapy is to come down from fight or flight.

So when you can lie in bed for a few days without stress of any sort. Even about things not related to the specific problem like money (money here is interfering with healing perhaps) that is a milestone.

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Tuesday, August 13, 2019 - 11:24 pm
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Nothing in particular, just that I don’t care about it anymore. Or, I find that there’s too many angles in the past situation to figure it out completely. Usually the later is a sign to drop it. popcorn_gif

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Saturday, May 2, 2020 - 1:27 pm
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I see now that the ability to relax and let go is a big one, and I’ve noticed I’m finally there, regarding a prior relationship:)). I’m generally super slow with most things compared to most people, which I tend to appreciate, except in terms of heartbreak, where the agony seems so loooong and sloow, it feels pretty unbearable, after awhile. I’m not talking just months, lol. At least it has in the past. 

One of the ways I’ve gotten over heartbreak is by finding a new romantic interest, which I think is common for a lot of people (whether it’s productive or not is up for discussion). I’m not into moving from relationship to relationship, which in this model means I tend to feel the pain of heartbreak for quite awhile (until I meet the next person). 

Which was true in the case of my past heartbreak, yet this time no other romantic interest ever took the place of that relationship (in my mind). I dealt with this mind-worm For A Long Time, lol. 

In the past few days, I’ve realized–I’m over it. There is no longing to be with this person, however small. There’s nothing that triggers me about them. And right now I’m just left with the pure lesson and heart experience, and best of all–I feel completely comfortable not having anyone else to focus on but me (and also more energy to devote to other relationships with family and friends). I think the last time I didn’t have some sort of crush or romantic interest was in grade school. 

And I just feel really strong and happy about this. I feel so light.

I think the final methods that brought me to this milestone were tarot, trusting my intuition, and time. 

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Saturday, May 2, 2020 - 3:53 pm
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Nothing compares to that feeling of lightness 🙂. It’s so interesting how we literally can feel the weight of our woes. The tarot image of the 10 of wands springs to mind. Man with bent back struggling to carry a tonne of sticks. Going from that image to feeling like a bird that can fly, kind of stirs a momentary ecstasy. I think this temporary nirvana state for me is the signal that healing has commenced.

Being around nature, creatures and the sea tends to really help me. Looking at the infinite ocean, hearing the waves, smelling the sea air; this really helps me keep perspective. Rumi’s quote “You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop” replays in my ear while I’m there.

When I can mentally revisit a painful scenario from a birds eye perspective, and wear a knowing smile that we are all one is another signal that I’ve healed. 

I try to remind myself that my feelings towards others are really reflections of my self, for better or for worse. I guess this also serves as a gauge as to how I’m faring self esteem wise.

Thank you for this lovely topic. My brief reflections have been cathartic 🙂🦋

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Sunday, May 3, 2020 - 10:35 pm
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Hades Moon said
Nothing compares to that feeling of lightness 🙂. It’s so interesting how we literally can feel the weight of our woes. The tarot image of the 10 of wands springs to mind. Man with bent back struggling to carry a tonne of sticks. Going from that image to feeling like a bird that can fly, kind of stirs a momentary ecstasy. I think this temporary nirvana state for me is the signal that healing has commenced.  

If you pile the kindling too high in your arms, you can’t see the path that leads to the fire. If you hold onto things that don’t serve you, you’re going to miss the fun in life. Life is about giving and receiving. Make sure you have a centered grasp on that concept.” –Ten of Wands interpretation by A. Venefica. 

Wow, Hades Moon, you nailed the feeling, and I so love that you contextualized it through the tarot. My practice has made leaps and bounds, but I’m still a beginner and I just really appreciate hearing how others apply the cards in various situations. It helps with my “fluency” which I think is the same way I learned astrology!

I tend to get stuck in that birds-eye view that you mentioned. Like you, it’s often a later/final response, which is good, but strangely, it’s tends to be my first response, too, which can lead to bypassing a lot of stuff, and I think that’s what prolonged this process for me. I have a prominent ninth house in every house system. Because that broad view is so natural for me, I only pretty recently confronted and actually felt my true feelings about the situation. Deep anger, rejection, betrayal, confusion, etc..the gamut. And finality, too, which caused a lot of fear. I’ve wanted to “understand” as soon as possible, which in some cases has allowed me to forsake my own needs. Once I just…felt everything, it was like the dam broke and everything started to flow again. It was like feeling everything gave me license to put it all behind me, to stop carrying this burden that before I didn’t want to name. The acceptance I feel now feels true, and I feel okay finally moving on and letting go. 

I try to remind myself that my feelings towards others are really reflections of my self, for better or for worse. I guess this also serves as a gauge as to how I’m faring self esteem wise.

This is so wise and so true. And I also find the same respite and perspective in nature. 

Thank you Hades Moon, for understanding and sharing your own process. Also for the beautiful Rumi quote, which I don’t think I’ve heard before!

(you’re the bomb heart)

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Monday, May 4, 2020 - 2:01 pm
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Thanks so much, Buendia. I love and value your clever and insightful contributions to this forum. I relate to much of what you express heart

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Saturday, May 2, 2020 - 7:11 pm
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Oh, man, I tell ya.

I get no respect, no respect.

When I was 5 years old it was sticks and stones.

Painful, painful.

In the early ’60s it was the Rolling Stones.

Satisfaction? Huh, get in line, bubba!!

Shortly, thereafter, is was weed.

I tell ya, brother, sativa’s one helluva rock.

Then, I started makin’ a name for myself. A Cornerstone, if you will.

Those things are heavy.

And, before I know it… kidney stones!!

Oof!!! Ya think Johnny Unitas could pass a kidney stone??

Get behind Mick Jagger, Johnny boy.

Then comes the gravestone.

Jeez, you’d think it’ll end there.

Now, you’re telling me about a milestone??

Really??

Listen, if I can’t pass a kidney stone, how the hell am I gonna pass a milestone.

No respect, no respect…

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