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DO you hate your parents
parents anger family trauma astrology
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Ann
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Thursday, July 13, 2017 - 8:19 pm
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I do not hate my parents. I love them actually. Are they perfect? No way. They are very flawed people- as am I. 

If I hated them I'd probably walk away and distance myself. It does no good in life to linger around people who treat you poorly but I think it's also important to take responsibility of your own life and not blame them for your unhappiness as an adult. (Not speaking to anyone specifically, This is just how I feel in general) 

When I hear people talk poorly about their parents it always make me sad. I don't ever want my kids to feel that way about me. 😰 I'm sure I make mistakes but I try my best. As I'm sure most parents do (with the exception of some real crazies) 

I have Mercury in Cancer and Cancer rules my 4th house so I can't imagine not being around my family and that's probably why I feel the way I do. 

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JoFrance
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Thursday, July 13, 2017 - 8:50 pm
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I don't hate my parents.  There were times in my life when I did, but as I got older I realized that two imperfect people raised me.  My father was an alcoholic and my mother was devastated dealing with that and having five kids.

I knew when I was 8 years old there were big problems.  My mom had a nervous breakdown and my father worked as a cross country truck driver.  I had to grow up quick and pitch in.  No childhood for me (Moon conjunct Saturn in Scorpio). 

I could have hated them but I wanted to help them.  I saw them as two flawed people in different ways.  I was just a kid but I had adult responsibilities at a very young age.  My childhood was not about me, it was about me helping my very dysfunctional parents get a grip on life.

It really changed my life forever.  I had a very disturbing childhood, but I also learned what not to do in life and forged my own path.  I had a great career and life despite my upbringing.  My sisters hated my parents and still blame them for their lot in life.  I just think my parents had a lot of problems of their own.  How long can you blame your parents in life?  I just think you have to put yourself in their shoes and when you do you realize maybe raising a kid isn't so easy. 

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soup
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Thursday, July 13, 2017 - 9:46 pm
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In order to love who you are you cant hate the experiences or the people who shaped you.

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soup
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Thursday, July 13, 2017 - 9:58 pm
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Ann said
I do not hate my parents. I love them actually. Are they perfect? No way. They are very flawed people- as am I. 

If I hated them I'd probably walk away and distance myself. It does no good in life to linger around people who treat you poorly but I think it's also important to take responsibility of your own life and not blame them for your unhappiness as an adult. (Not speaking to anyone specifically, This is just how I feel in general) 

When I hear people talk poorly about their parents it always make me sad. I don't ever want my kids to feel that way about me. 😰 I'm sure I make mistakes but I try my best. As I'm sure most parents do (with the exception of some real crazies) 

I have Mercury in Cancer and Cancer rules my 4th house so I can't imagine not being around my family and that's probably why I feel the way I do.   

I have a 4 planet stellium (scorpio) in the 4th Ann....with a Cancer asc. If I wanted to hate them I couldn't ......

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ScottishFoldSoul
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Thursday, July 13, 2017 - 9:58 pm
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Even if those experiences led them to irreversibly hurt you? 

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Thursday, July 13, 2017 - 10:13 pm
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JoFrance said
I don't hate my parents.  There were times in my life when I did, but as I got older I realized that two imperfect people raised me.  My father was an alcoholic and my mother was devastated dealing with that and having five kids.

I knew when I was 8 years old there were big problems.  My mom had a nervous breakdown and my father worked as a cross country truck driver.  I had to grow up quick and pitch in.  No childhood for me (Moon conjunct Saturn in Scorpio). 

I could have hated them but I wanted to help them.  I saw them as two flawed people in different ways.  I was just a kid but I had adult responsibilities at a very young age.  My childhood was not about me, it was about me helping my very dysfunctional parents get a grip on life.

It really changed my life forever.  I had a very disturbing childhood, but I also learned what not to do in life and forged my own path.  I had a great career and life despite my upbringing.  My sisters hated my parents and still blame them for their lot in life.  I just think my parents had a lot of problems of their own.  How long can you blame your parents in life?  I just think you have to put yourself in their shoes and when you do you realize maybe raising a kid isn't so easy.   

Your parents just sound flawed, not purposely cruel. I think that's the difference between them and my parents.

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Friday, July 14, 2017 - 4:20 am
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I don't hate my parents. If I did, I'd only hurt myself.

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Alethia
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Friday, July 14, 2017 - 6:20 am
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I'm so sorry to read your story, Veronica... I can relate to you. I'm sorry for everyone here that have had their heart wounded by their parents. I spent many years trying to clear my head and my feeling towards my parents. I have severe health issues, not curable, that with attention and care could have been avoided. On one side, I understand they made mistakes because they didn't know more. On the other side, I don't understand why do I have to live with these health issues forever when I did nothing wrong, so it's not my fault. We have a relationship based on respect and understanding, but I don't feel yet I can forgive them. I don't hate them, I just blame them... and if I pay attention it is not even blaming, it is the impossibility to understand why I have to carry this for the rest of my life... I hope that one day I'll be able to forgive to free my soul from this burden. But I can't force forgiveness. 

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Friday, July 14, 2017 - 8:15 am
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At some point in my late teens, early 20's, I figured out that my parents are just people, too. They did the best they could with the tools, baggage they had (that we all have). Yes, "the best" can so often be far from desirable. 

However, there comes a time in one's life when you have to be responsible for yourself going forward. You have to. You can't go back and ask them to fix something from your childhood. My parents did a lot for us, but my  father was an alcoholic, my mother told me she should have aborted me. What am I going to have them do about that now or even when I was 20, 30, 40? I can only be responsible for my feelings, reactions, etc. whether that means forgiving, therapy, *not* doing what they did, etc. 

Even if your parents beat or starved you, at some point you have to realize they aren't going to help you or whatever you want from them. Even an apology. If they apologize, that's nice. If not, can't do anything about that.

I'm so sorry for the awful stories and I am in no way minimizing anything. 

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Tam
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Friday, July 14, 2017 - 9:50 am
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No, I don't. I was angry with my dad for a long time when I was younger because of his alcoholism and cheating on my mom. They are fine now and his mistress has since died which seems weird to type. Alcoholics can say terrible things when they are drunk which leaves a person wondering if that is what they really think or if they are just babbling a word salad. After all these years I still can't answer that terrible question, if you know the answer don't tell me.

Now that I am older and study astrology it helps. It's possible to clearly see my grandparents and the lives my parents had as children. Like right now I can only remember 2 times in my life that my mom hugged me so it's probably a miracle I have turned out as well as I have.

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Friday, July 14, 2017 - 12:54 pm
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I think you turned out just great, Tam. 

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Friday, July 14, 2017 - 3:22 pm
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ScottishFoldSoul said
I think you turned out just great, Tam.   

Thank you! I feel bad about myself as t-Saturn is squaring my Moon. Blech.

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soup
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Friday, July 14, 2017 - 9:12 pm
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ScottishFoldSoul said
Even if those experiences led them to irreversibly hurt you?   

They did irreversibly hurt me. But if I walk around obsessed with it how can I live a good life? To carry all that anger? Why? Why would I carry that around and let it tear me down?

I just try hard not to live in the past. What good does it do?

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Friday, July 14, 2017 - 10:59 pm
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Obsessing over the past has kept me company, soup. I've spent all my life alone. As much as it held me back, it also gave me a twisted form of comfort too and felt like an internal ally, like someone was finally on my side.  I know it's not something everyone can relate to, but it's  second nature to me to get in my own way as is chronic self-neglect. 

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Friday, July 14, 2017 - 11:03 pm
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Obsessive thinking becomes a companion at some point. It's bad comfort food.

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