Avatar
Please consider registering
Guest
Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
Register Lost password?
sp_TopicIcon
Calling someone on their bs
Avatar
Libra Noir
Milky Way
Members
Forum Posts: 8222
Member Since:
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
22
Sunday, August 2, 2020 - 4:43 am
sp_Permalink sp_Print

You’re on the money here thank you. 
It is about them. Thank you. I do accept the attraction/repulsion dynamic, although it took a lot of work and soul searching to come to terms with that. 

Avatar
redbird
Planetoid
Members
Forum Posts: 57
Member Since:
Saturday, March 16, 2013
sp_UserOnlineSmall Online
12
Saturday, August 1, 2020 - 4:57 pm
sp_Permalink sp_Print sp_EditHistory

Libra Noir said
Ok I have a couple things to add that occurred to me last night as I was laying in bed. 

One is situations is always in a group setting in which I can see that someone is trying to put me in my place or humble me, but really it’s that they are trying to control me. Maybe some Plutonians will relate. The purpose seems to be to make me behave in a manner that is supposed to show everyone what an asshole I really am and concurrently show how gracious, beautiful and holy they are. It’s basically projection. But it’s so subtle that others can’t see it. So I’m basically backed into a corner. Im being attacked but noone else sees it, so if I retaliate Im made to look like an asshole because it appears that I’m attacking this poor helpless little weakling and it brands me in a way. If I pull their covers, I also pay a price. These are people who choose to be enemy. Which are the only enemies I ever have, the ones that want to feed off my energy by being an enemy. So theres that complex psychodrama lol. Honestly if I can walk away in those situations I do, but more and more, I’m like- fuck that, you’re not going to run me off. Compassion is hard to practice here too, née impossible at least in the traditional way. See how complex it gets with me lol? 

So another situation I thought about was a time that someone really appreciated my honesty. He was a newish friend/dating and he had gotten himself into this pickle with his ex, where she was using their daughter to control him and he was utterly miserable. He brought it to me twice and I just listened, because that’s what it seemed like he wanted. Something about that felt very wrong and I decided to confront him and tell him what I saw. I basically said “What the heck are you doing with your life?”  He disappeared for a week and came back and told me that it was the kick in the pants he needed and was deeply grateful. He still tells me a few years later how grateful he is to me for what I did. 

  

The mother of Holy EFFIN words of wisdom. 
I can do relate. 
I was stabbed in the back twice last week. By 2 family members. I was so wounded both days I stood in the shower and sobbed. I have a good heart, but – recently within this last year and half)… I am so drained, tired of people abusing my graciousness. 
After these types of attacks, I can’t emotionally deal…..so- 

as per a recent pattern, 
I would normally go buy a bottle of wine. And do what you said – either retaliate, with due justice – or pull their covers – or both. 
For whatever reason. I decided to NOT buy a bottle of wine. Lay low. And wait it out. And it’s a full moon. So, I’m doing self care, yoga, meditation, and reading and Binge watching Some new stuff….. I freaking love this place here. Libra Noir- YOU are brilliant.
Write  a book. I’d buy. 

The following users say thanks to redbird for this post:

Tam, Libra Noir
Avatar
Libra Noir
Milky Way
Members
Forum Posts: 8222
Member Since:
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
15
Saturday, August 1, 2020 - 5:32 pm
sp_Permalink sp_Print

Aw thank you:) Glad you didn’t drink. I used to drink too and in fact reached rock bottom. 

Avatar
CrisLondon
London (UK)
Planetary ruler
Members
Forum Posts: 312
Member Since:
Thursday, October 10, 2013
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
16
Saturday, August 1, 2020 - 6:03 pm
sp_Permalink sp_Print sp_EditHistory

I get to meet people through my work who clearly are plutonian, 8th house or have plenty of scorpio energy and it’s clear to me they notice subtle controlling behaviours from others in group situations. It’s generally tricky and only time tends to prove to the group or other group members what they observed.

Even kids are like that. Very observant.

It’s tricky when others don’t notice such games or choose to not notice them (or to get involved to offer support.)

If I notice this in a group I’m not that fond of I can’t be bothered and walk away from the person.

But it’s painful and hurtful when it’s in a group with close friends or at a workplace one needs or likes or both. I try to avoid much contact with the person and not be caught alone with them.

In general there are plenty of people who value those who are sincere and call out their loved one’s bullshit. So there is great value in your strengths and bs radar, LibraNoir.

I tend to often blurt out (after reflection) the bs I notice in friends and so far those I have now (lost many in my 20s and 30s) value the observations most of the time. Yet I try to ponder on whether I’ll talk or not.

Like you and many here I have been met with backlash for sharing observations in the past (and in the future for sure) so it’s tricky. I tend to ponder things before deciding if I can due to my intensity at times.

Lastly some people know about the ‘nail’ and want it like shared here by confusionconfusion…some people might think they need the nail, I think.

People are usually complex. All of us. Think those more self aware and aware of others often can feel burdened. This last sentence is just an observation which right now I can’t deepen much due to tiredness and feeling a bit dense.

I also think it’s a powerful gift that requires responsibility (another observation or reflection, not talking about anyone in particular.)

BS detectors can be tough when one’s a child and unfortunately many parents or adults don’t encourage its use for various reasons. A shame.

The following users say thanks to CrisLondon for this post:

Libra Noir, redbird, confusionconfusion
Avatar
Libra Noir
Milky Way
Members
Forum Posts: 8222
Member Since:
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
17
Saturday, August 1, 2020 - 7:24 pm
sp_Permalink sp_Print sp_EditHistory

Thank you Cris. I appreciate your insights. I think there are some who appreciate it. Yes, as a kid I was told to be honest, but then when I’d point out some kind of social pattern that noone was talking about I was punished. It made me create a certain way of navigating that I feel needs an upgrade, because I’m going about it the same way I did when I was 15 ya know? 

Also I forgot to mention that my Scorpio stellium is in the 11th house. This is the only group that hasn’t completely turned on me lol, although there’s been elements of what I was talking about, there’s not a mob mentality or the queen bee thing going on here. Oh man, queen bees hate me haha, because I see right through em, and I am not impressed. 

The following users say thanks to Libra Noir for this post:

redbird
Avatar
JoFrance
Celestial sphere
Members
Forum Posts: 3406
Member Since:
Friday, November 1, 2013
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
18
Saturday, August 1, 2020 - 7:31 pm
sp_Permalink sp_Print

I have that same BS detector. My four Scorpio planets, including Mercury and Venus square Pluto. On top of that, I have a Sadge Sun. Sometimes things just come out of my mouth, unfiltered. Its a good thing I have Libra rising to soften it somewhat. My Libra rising cringes when some things come out of my mouth and my Neptune in the 1st house wants me to hide.

If someone is a hypocrite and they’re judging someone for what they do, I’m going to tell them they do the same damn thing. I want to hear their answer. Usually they’ll try to defend it and their entire argument falls apart and we end up laughing about it.

I never say things in a mean or judgmental way, many times its in a more humorous way. I know some people are delicate and I do make an effort to not say much in areas where there is just no way they’ll ever change. I have one friend in her 70’s. She is a hypochondriac and her own worst enemy. Nothing I can say or do will ever change that, so we meet occasionally for lunch and talk on the phone sometimes, but that’s it.

Discernment is important, but its important too for you to get your feelings out in the open. It will free you. You’d be surprised that many times people are aware of their own BS and they’re actually waiting for someone to call them out on it. Anyway, thats been my experience with my own foot in mouth statements, of which I have many.

The following users say thanks to JoFrance for this post:

Libra Noir, redbird, confusionconfusion
Avatar
Libra Noir
Milky Way
Members
Forum Posts: 8222
Member Since:
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
19
Saturday, August 1, 2020 - 7:49 pm
sp_Permalink sp_Print

I do feel that it’s important for me to get my feelings out in the open too. That’s why I come here lol. I think my throat chakra is opening, because I recently told my mom what I thought and felt regarding her destructive actions and you are right, it was freeing. I thought it would destroy our relationship but it actually made it better. So I am experimenting with stepping out a bit and that was a big confirmation for me that I can’t be an authentic free person if I hold back my feelings. 

The following users say thanks to Libra Noir for this post:

redbird
Forum Timezone: America/Chicago
Most Users Ever Online: 1202
Currently Online: redbird, jana, Merc91
Guest(s) 106
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
Newest Members:
Mary A
Castleflower
before_the_dawn
Forum Stats:
Groups: 1
Forums: 13
Topics: 4077
Posts: 77055

 

Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 173
Members: 3239
Moderators: 0
Admins: 4
Administrators: Elsa, Satori, Brandon C, meaning2