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Venus Retrograde and Venus Square Neptune Issue
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songmistress
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Monday, May 18, 2020 - 9:53 pm
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On May 3, with the help of VEnus Square Neptune I feel as if I lost my best friend of 16+ years, with whom I shared a roof for 11 years, and was his lover for several years 4+ years ago.  He more or less also kicked me out of the house.  I do not understand it at all, and the whole saga is weird and inexplicable though surely there IS an explanation which I am searching for.

I’m an intuitive/ empathic healer, which makes this even more difficult for me to be so blocked/ blindsided by it all though admittedly it isn’t something I tune into daily though live it daily regardless.  AFter May 3rd’s explosion I showed up two days later to begin packing as I had zero doubt he expected me to move plus I did not want to be in a situation of continually being hurt, sometimes cruelly or as some kind of punishment.  7 days later I had the majority of my things moved with some left in the attic and garage.

The only conversation we have had was purely about logistics, a few personal comments about this or that that were endearing from both of us along with I apologized to him through tears ” I am very sorry I did not realize how important it was to you for me to move by right now, and that  my misunderstanding caused you to have to push me.”  To me that apology was a higher road statement because in my mind the fact of it is had he ever at any time been more specific and communicated clearly there wouldn’t have been a problem.

We have been the best of friends and companions since it was established, 4 years ago, that he may still want to have children and I am past childbearing years.  In that time frame he has ballooned to be morbidly obese (another Venus Square Neptune issue) with a serious food addiction that he acknowledges but never really addresses as it gets worse.  His weight had become an issue prior to that but it was never at this level.  He was over 400lbs at the beginning of this year and has gotten down to 385 the last I knew.

He also has a buying/ returning problem and spends money like crazy, then returns and the cycle continues. On top of all that seemingly a very responsible, talented and self aware individual with whom I have been extremely compatible throughout various relationship dynamics for 16+ years and is basically a member of my family.  I have been more vocal about his addiction and less enabling…

He has a major surgery on June 23rd, which is why I asked more about the June 23rd aspects….where 1/3 of his colon is being removed for issues relating to that.  I thought I was going to be taking care of him hence, in part, my misunderstanding about the move as well as, hey, there is a pandemic happening and there is no place like home, but here we are.

10 days prior to May 3 he met a woman through social media, and she came to our house on May 2.  The blow up emanated from her being upset to discover I was there when she called him and he acted funny.  He then had to explain himself and try to work things out with her to ease over whatever their misunderstanding was.  I was trying to offer friendly advice, having just learned of her existence, when he made it clear that I needed to leave because he could not talk to her on the phone with me there (even though he could have had privacy in other ways without me having to leave what I considered to be my home).  This was the 2nd time in a week he had made me leave our home to go back to stay at my office where I had been staying off and on working 24/7 to keep the lights on without staff.

I’m sharing this all because there are two more Venus square Neptune transits coming up and Venus is Retrograde in Gemini…and I need to be prepared because my emotions are raw.   I’m partially very concerned about his mental health, and his surgery, but I also need to heal myself right now and that is my priority.

I called him today in part because I do have additional things to move and am in the dark on his expectations since I feel very much in the dark about why any of this has happened, and let him know that I was ready to talk if he would also like to clear the air.  He is supposed to call when that will work for him, in the meantime he is actually blaming me for all of this when I said he was treating me badly which he denies and is proud to have stood up to me because I made him feel bad about himself by saying the he was being mean and cruel when other things happened in the 4 weeks leading up to May 3rd.  When I asked him if he thought he had done anything to hurt me he said that I felt hurt because I was not listening to him and only hearing what I wanted to, so the understanding I had was not what he meant and that is why I felt hurt not because he was being mean….  While discussing when would be a good time to meet, he said he couldn’t do it on x day because he had a CT Scan then and I asked what it was for and he refused to say.  To me that refusal was like a punishment.  Even after saying to him that I can still adore him and love him after everything is said and done, and worry about him so it would be nice to know… 

Any guidance you can give me is greatly appreciated relating to what I should do or be prepared for… and should I even try to talk to him during all of this.  I don’t have to have my things that are there and I trust him to be their caretaker… sigh

Sorry if this is too much info or not enough!!!

Me in general based on time of birth:  Gemini Sun, Libra Rising, Capricorn Moon, Cancer in Venus here.  Sun square Saturn,

Venus Sextile Jupiter (orb 4°21′)

Venus Trine Saturn (orb 2°3′)

Venus Sextile Uranus (orb 0°50′)

Venus Sextile Pluto (orb 4°44′)

Venus Conjunction North Node (orb 4°45′)

Venus Sextile Vertex (orb 2°60′)

Venus Square Ascendant (orb 5°11′)

Venus Conjunction Midheaven (orb 6°49′)

Mercury Opposition Neptune (orb 1°42′)

 

Him:  Unknown time of birth so incomplete.  Aries Sun, Aries Rising, Pisces Moon, Venus in Aries, Saturn in Scorpio

 

Planet Aspect Planet Orb Value
  Sun   Trine   Uranus 7°56′ 2
  Sun   Trine   Neptune 7°55′ 1
  Sun   Opposition   Pluto 7°54′ -52
  Sun   Conjunction   Lilith 0°59′ 469
  Moon   Sextile   Neptune 2°44′ 100
  Moon   Trine   Pluto 2°45′ 98
  Mercury   Conjunction   Venus 0°56′ 381
  Mercury   Square   Neptune 3°14′ -46
  Venus   Square   Neptune 4°09′ -19
  Mars   Opposition   Saturn 4°22′ -72
  Jupiter   Sextile   Uranus 4°30′ 16
  Uranus   Trine   Lilith 6°57′ 4
  Neptune   Sextile   Pluto 0°01′ 90
  Pluto   Opposition   Lilith 8°53′ -0
  1161 -189 972

 

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Osiris Wife
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Tuesday, May 19, 2020 - 7:02 am
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I suspect there’s more than just Venus sq. Neptune at play here.

You’ll probably get better responses if you post your chart – aspects without houses, signs, degrees etc. don’t say much.

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Tuesday, May 19, 2020 - 7:36 am
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chart.pngImage Enlarger not sure if this works, my tech skills are not serving me well … sigh and thank you!!!

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Tuesday, May 19, 2020 - 3:21 am
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Venus square Neptune is about toxic positivity. On the first square I noticed this exact video come up in a few different places.

I would say, I would guess, the guy is in a self involved “life is unfair”, “Woe is me” spiral and you need to cut your losses. It doesn’t matter about his medical condition. If he doesn’t want to share it with you then let him stew.

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Tuesday, May 19, 2020 - 7:56 am
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Thank you for the great advice and insight!  I suspect the woe is me, life is unfair scenario and within it I have been demonized.

While in self healing mode I continue to have a slight tinge/ thought that pops up about addicts with a nagging draw to “help him”.  I’m trying to let that go though because I know I cannot help him, only he can help himself.  What rolls through my head is “how will I feel if he dies?”, will I feel okay with how things were left or my efforts?  The answer to that eludes me and yet I believe in my own inner strength enough to comfort me with the knowledge that I can heal myself no matter what… some wounds take longer and others are a lifetime journey.

On another note, my 2012 venus retrograde themes that have resurfaced had to do with the loss of my front tooth and settling into a new home.  Professionally things were very good. Based on my recollection and looking at photos & emails, our relationship was very solid then too… 

Thanks for the opportunity to share and feel heard.

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Tuesday, May 19, 2020 - 1:23 pm
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We all have the right to feel heard.

Well, Venus is about what we love and don’t love and retrograde is bringing that under attention.

Once you separate from this guy, if you start to feel and look better yourself he may come back at that point and then you have to think about what you are going to do. Especially if any other girls he has tried to charm haven’t taken to it.

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Tuesday, May 19, 2020 - 2:40 pm
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Great food for thought  Thank you! 

I do expect him to come back at some point though if that were to occur I see it happening a long while from now, not before or even shortly after the surgery unless he has an epiphany of some sort.

At first blush, having yet to hear what he has to say to clear the air and what he wants to say that he thinks I haven’t heard, I can’t imagine going “back”.  I can imagine him in a dear friend scenario but with more boundaries.  There was a time I would have said if he got down on bended knee I would say yes, but I haven’t seen him in that way for awhile.  

I feel very ready for something else to be my focus, and to actually give myself what I have needed for awhile to take flight and not be held back.

We’ll see.

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Tuesday, May 19, 2020 - 8:42 am
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songmistress said
chart.pngImage Enlarger not sure if this works, my tech skills are not serving me well … sigh and thank you!!!

  

It looks like t.Uranus crossed into your 8th house around the same time of the Venus-Neptune Square.

Triggering the Kite focused on Neptune in 2nd house. This house is important because it’s also the missing link to your T-Square (Sun-Saturn-Pluto & Uranus); restless energy on a subconscious level to seek resolution in the area that is missing – it’s hard to get comfortable on a 3-legged chair, and you’ve tried, perhaps for years, shifting, thinking, adjusting, controlling but something probably didn’t feel right….perhaps the more self sacrificing you did the more unconsciously or consciously unstable you became.

Then t.Uranus stepped in to shake things up…

You said “how will I feel if he dies?” Perhaps the death you feel is the death of the relationship. It’s possible that your own self esteem issues had become meshed with his and you had become blind to this. The death of the relationship being an impetus for the beginning of your renewed sense of self. You have a grand earthly trine with 4th, 8th, 11th houses, so even though Uranus may set off transformation (8th house), you have grounding energy in 4th and 11th that may serve to stabilize whilst in the midst of change.

I imagine it can be hard to see this, because it has just happened. But you are strong, Capricorn Moon, and all you have to do is trust yourself more.

This statement you made is so very true, “I can heal myself no matter what… some wounds take longer and others are a lifetime journey.”

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Tuesday, May 19, 2020 - 10:46 am
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Thank youheart  I forgot about the kite and was so focused on why “he” did this; thank you!!! There was a full 24 hours or more of electrical glitches in my office/ living space that included flickering lights, microwave and coffee maker malfunction, email mishap etc.  I thought it was my energy off the charts in expressing the pain and anguish I felt….and then I wondered if it was his mother reaching out or one of my guides trying to comfort me, though I suspect it was the energy of the kite mostly….

Gotta love Uranus!

My self esteem was taking a hit as well, without question and I am glad to have it bouncing back so quickly although there will always be certain levels of doubt of course.  My pain in part stemmed from the self sacrifice aspects of the relationship so yes, yes and yes; thank you!!!

You’ve helped ease my mind and giving me the ability to bring some order to it all, I am eternally grateful.  I feel “released” and free from having let this sink in though will ponder more of course.

I can breath… thank you.

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Tuesday, May 19, 2020 - 12:07 pm
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I am not very good at the intricate details of astrology but I can share what I have lived through with an Aries.

My late husband was an Aries with a Capricorn asc. I wanted to be by his side when he passed as I did not want him to pass alone. He did not want me to see him take his last breath. He made sure he got what he wanted. He had been my Hero for all those years, fearless and confident. 

Maybe it sounds cruel that he does not want you there. Maybe he sounds cruel for not telling you what he is being scanned for. Or Maybe he is trying to protect you from what may be coming. I was my husbands caregiver for 5 years. It was the biggest challenge of my life.

I would also say maybe stop, slow down and listen. From your comments here its sounds like he has been trying to tell you something and you are not hearing it.

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Tuesday, May 19, 2020 - 2:12 pm
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Opalina, you are spot on!  Thank you for chiming in.  I even have him in my phone as X The Hero because he has been my hero.

I do look forward to listening to what he wants to say and am preparing myself to be able to listen, have him feel heard and not react in any other way.  I can’t imagine what he is trying to tell me that I haven’t heard because I believe I HAVE heard him… He hates himself, would love to reach out to friends but is too embarrassed by his size, he feels he is literally fighting for his life between the health issues and how much he hates himself and the life he has, which isn’t the life he feels destined to nor where he thought he would be at all.  He dreams of his headstone being next to his mother’s, hers showing the birth date 10.31- dod 4.15, his 4.15-10.31.  He truly believes he is going to die and has let me know if that happens I will hear from his attorney and also receive all of his creative files so it doesn’t get lost and I can make sure they are seen/ heard.  He hopes things go well with the surgery and he can get his life back on track to where he wants to be and then buy back his grandfather’s farm and financially reward a small hand full of people who have stood by his side.  

Could be something completely different of course.  

While I heard those things, and understand that means he can not love another until he loves himself, and that he is so unhappy, I did not think it meant he no longer wanted me in his life in any way.   I just thought we would always be best friends unless, or until, a significant other felt threatened by that.

I know he hasn’t wanted to hold me back etc.  and I completely hear you about it not being cruel but possibly him protecting me… which is also why I have worried about whether he is suicidal though it’s hard for me to go there because I can’t imagine he would do anything to prevent having this surgery he’s been wanting for 4+years and believes will give him his life back….

Add into that the new love interest if she’s still around…

When I love, its very powerful and in many ways unconditional.  I guess that may have created a dynamic of me thinking his issues should be handled one way and him having another idea…

Thank you again for chiming in and helping me to further flesh this out.  I can’t tell you how much it means to me to be able to have your feedback!!  I do feel so much better and prepared, sorta like the list they give you when the release you from the hospital of the things you will need at home.  I feel like I can start working on that list!!

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