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Stigma of single motherhood

Libra Noir
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(@libra-noir)
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Joined: 12 years ago

Someone was telling me the other day that a friend of theirs had been kicked out of they're church after her divorce. I guess a lot of the married women were threatened by her presence there. It got me thinking about some situations that I've been in. Nothing as dramatic as that, but being excluded from social circles that included only married people. Excluded in a very cold way. An isolation that I'd never felt as a single childless person.

Do you all think there is a stigma associated with single mothers? Do we hold the shadow?

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(@learningtoground)
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Joined: 13 years ago

I think we used to ... It's changing but many haven't gotten past it. When I got divorced I left the church. My ex was great with the lies such a pius angel he is Smile

I felt judged and dirty. Even though I wasn't. But my feeling that way closed doors for me in some situations. I put a wall up and many of them didn't know how to respond.

We can't always entirely blame others, even though the situation looks cut and dry.

Then there are other situations where looking back we should count our blessings we were excluded 😀

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Libra Noir
Posts: 359
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(@libra-noir)
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Joined: 12 years ago

Oh youre so right learningtoground. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I have zero pain associated with this. I just wanted to know what others saw in regards to this. Is this still around ( I think it is to a lesser degree than in the past, but still there). I'm content with my choices; I'm not a victim of circumstance.

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(@victoria)
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Joined: 11 years ago

Well I don't think there should even be a stigma. So what? It is what it is. People go by the book its so stupid. Sometimes its better off that the child has a single parent than an abusive or argumentative parent. These kind of people find it hard to see the forest past the trees. It sort of outrages me that there should be any stigma in such an innocent kind of thing. My cousin used to be a single parent when X left her with two children but then she replaced him later on and now things are back to normal. But when she was single I noticed a little chatter about her in the family. It got on my nerves. In the end it was better for her because she is in a better place. So things happen hopefully for our highest good. I never had children so I don't know what its like but as someone with a lot of influence of gemini I observe people and they just think their all shit and balls if their married with kids and your a single mother. And ain't an ounce of truth to that, cause what goes on behind closed doors is not spoken to you. Single parents deserve praise if anything!

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(@sunnysadge)
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Joined: 14 years ago

I am a single parent and I'm a proud parent. I just laugh at people who says bad things about me. Simply because, I've proven them all wrong.

I say to those people, "my child loves me, looks up to me and wants be just like me. Does yours?"

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(@lalala)
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Joined: 11 years ago

1Cr 7:39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.

1Cr 7:10 And unto the married I command, [yet] not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from [her] husband:

1Cr 7:11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to [her] husband: and let not the husband put away [his] wife.

Luke 16:18 Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

A church, in the first place, shouldn't allow a divorcee to remarry within its premises. I wouldn't blame the institution if they ostracize someone because they're doing what the Bible says. But if they decide to ostracize a woman, they should do the same to the man. And I'm not a puritan so don't burn me to the cross. neutralI'm an anti-religious theist.

I'm not sure if there's any stigma attached but I know that gender bias exists. A single father is seen as responsible loving yada yada yada....a respectable family man basically. But the same doesn't apply to a single mother. We generally and mostly don't add these adjectives or these terms normally don't come to our mind while describing a single mother because we're conditioned to believe that the woman's playing her 'natural' role. Natural? I become doubtful when I watch penguins on animal planet, read reports on postpartum depression...

We live in a patriarchal society that still exists because of us. We are the fuel. Women in general and feminists in particular blame men. But a closer look would tell us that a larger percentage of women, than reported by mainstream media, share the same beliefs. Even many of those who don't eventually succumb to patriarchal rules.

The world is evolving but there's a long way to go. Man didn't evolve from it's ancestors over a century or two.

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