I don't have anything new to add, expect Isabella's post was insightful. Also, the moon in 12 stood out to me.

I hope you can get the help you need, Maudie! It must be so painful.

I know what you're talking about because I've been having the same problems. Getting rid of this disorder is extremely difficult , but many people succeed, and I did

Haven’t looked at other replies yet, so may be repeating. 
I see a Grand Trine there and these Can create a pattern that is very strong and possibly limiting.  It looks very watery, emotional energy, however one leg is at your 0 degree Aries moon.  That may be a key 

you have a starburst potential of psyche energy. There is initiative energy to begin something in the 12th house.  

Walking meditation maybe while contemplating your heart ❤️