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Scared of upcoming Pluto square my moon


carmen
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Hello All,

I need to vent, Pluto is coming for my Moon in Libra in the first house. And Ofcourse Pluto is transiting my IC. I have been in therapy since Oct 2020. Made a lot of changes. But once in a while I struggle with severe anxiety . My sibling isn’t doing well mentally. Now I constantly experience anxiety that one day someone will call or stand in front of my door to tell me , sibling died or lost it totally. I had to cut off contact because my sibling is narcistic. Or something like that. I feel guilty and scared. My therapist says I need to drop the feeling that I’m responsible for my siblings life. Did anyone experience the same ? And how did you cope with it? Next year march 3 , Venus, Mars and Pluto will be at 27 degrees all squaring my moon. Can someone tell me what to expect ? Because I expect a very sad and horrible period. 
I hope someone can ease my mind.

thank you for reading this.

xoxo

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Elsa
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It will be painful.  I'm sorry!  Consider making a deep commitment to getting through whatever comes up. I say this because Pluto in Cap against a LIBRA moon. I'm pretty sure you can spare yourself some suffering if you commit right now, to not waffling. 

Expect to be toughened up and also to gain wisdom.

Good luck.

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carmen
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@elsa Thank you dear Elsa . That makes me want to cry. I already feel so beaten down. The upcoming transit makes me very frightened. My dad I just saw now and realized has his Saturn at 27 deg Libra. But I expect trouble/heartbreak  comes from the sibling 🙁

I’m prepared and will hold my ground I guess. 

😢

xoxo

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Elsa
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Posted by: @carmen

But I expect trouble/heartbreak  comes from the sibling

See, you know this is coming so plan (Saturn) to detach (Uranus).

This is your chance to have boundaries!

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carmen
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@elsa True! I will, already did. But still my feeling guilty for that eats inside of me. I don’t want to to think what if afterwards. But I’m not responsible for siblings actions . Again thank you ! ❤️

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sophiab
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I'm having a Pluto transit right now, the third pass, and it's very hard. It's not my Moon involved but my Sun and Uranus. It's trine to Sun and square to Uranus, all at 24*. A trine shouldn't be so bad but it is. Pluto kind of takes over your functioning when you're not looking and you lose your normal awareness and are almost pitched back to an earlier place in your life (with Moon, very emotional focus), one which is ready for healing. Therapists would call it a regression. I find it's like a reliving, although you may have forgotten the worst details of the original experience, but the anxiety comes from there because emotions are trying to get out (try to feel and express it). It makes it hard dealing with others because you are seeing them from this other place and it's irrational. The way you feel about yourself is irrational too. From the way you write the transit is active now, you are in it already, its applying at 3 degrees. It's good you are reaching out because it means you already have awareness that weird stuff is happening to you and you want to stay sane. Make sure to check an ephemeris for when Pluto passes 27 and if it will rx back. Get all the dates in your diary. Today I meditated because I felt so taken over and it really helped to centre me back to my more rational self and I got good guidance. I have found trying to talk to others hard and it throws you back onto your inner reserves. I'm going to do it everyday now at least until 30th Nov when Pluto reaches 25*, then see how it is. 

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carmen
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@sophiab Hi SophiaB, you are right about the past that relives. My therapist told me that my deep seethed fear from the abuse in my childhood needs to come up. Many times i tried to suppress it because of multiple reasons i could think of. In fact I was just scared. and I still am. But I’m not that 12 year old with the abuse parent anymore. Keep reminding myself that. I am so sorry to hear that you are going trough hard transits. And that you replied to help me while going trough so much . Thank you Its really most appreciated! I send you lots of strength and light. And I’ll keep a diary, that is a great tip. 

xoxo C

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JoFrance
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Hi Carmen. I can relate because the Pluto square is coming for my Moon in early degrees of Scorpio. I've had a little taste of the energy of this transit and its very obsessive and intense. My Scorpio Moon is more used to dealing with this type of energy, but maybe not so much for a Libra Moon.

My husband has a Libra Sun and Scorpio Moon at 1 degree. His mother is old (90) and slowly dying. He's trying his best to deal with it. We don't live near her and that makes it worse. He feels so guilty.

The best way to deal with this transit is to learn when to stop yourself when it gets too deep. It can become an abyss.

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carmen
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  1. @jofrance Hello Jo , thank you for your reply and insight , it helps me a lot and makes me feel im not utterly alone in this. I’m sorry to hear you are going trough hard times. True that a scorpio is used to the energy , but it doesn’t make it easier I think. The things I read about the Pluto sq moon transits are right. My first anxiety attack began a year ago. And that was because Saturn first squared my moon. It was horrible I thought I was going to die. Since my mother is mentally ill, I worked my butt off to just keep myself sane. I was too afraid to become like her. Since therapy things started to improve slowly. But the anxiety creeps up to me. I need to look my fears in the eyes. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. I hope your husband  can come to the point where he can let go of the guilt . Feeling guilty even tho we know it’s not our fault, is a very debilitating feeling. I hope your MIL has nice and kind people around her to ease her pain and make her life more comfortable.
  2. as a libra moon I like balance. And there isn’t any. Saturn opposing my sun and mercury . And Pluto with his Ongoing transit in my 4th. I think i did the work. I moved , quit my job, stopped being a doormat and a puking bag. But to be honest , the situation forced me. I hope I’ll have a safe landing. I applied for insurance school. I want to prove to myself I can do it. 20 years ago I was too insecure and afraid. All my fears or mostly all have come out to bite me, so nothing to lose. Again I wish your husband ease Of mind. And hope for the both of you you’ll weather the Astro storms that are coming.

xoxo Carmen

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