my hands are tied as I sink in quick sand amid Neptune Saturn transit
I feel like all I do is whine about this transit but's because I can't commit (but I WANT TO). There's no point because the next thing I know plans dissolve beneath my eyes and feelings quickly shift as a result anyway.
Neptune won't move off of my natal Saturn until Feb 2022. I don't know what the hell else to do anymore... feeling so lost (yet again). I've been traveling the last yr because any concrete plans have just gone to shit, but I feel the urge to settle/am tired of moving around. But, apart from the unbearable confusion about what I want - I know there's also no point because my mind changes or the actual circumstances change.
I have to make a decision in the next few weeks about what to do next (I am in a foreign country where I've lived for several yrs prior to the transit began) because the apartment I'm in is up and I don't have the finances (because of unstable work) to just figure whatever out. I'm not ready to go back to the US yet, but I can't find my happy place here anymore. With the work structure of my life also so unstable, it keeps my hands tied from making decisions even more so.
It really is torturous at times. I know it has a spiritual purpose and is all about surrender/recognizing I don't have control anyway. But it's terrifying at times. I feel like I've learned the control thing enough through the excruciating pain of tragic death. Ugh, sorry cue feeling sorry for myself but I'm just frustrated. Life is still about balancing the otherwordly AND the mundane. I have to survive. I miss my life.
It's so hard to believe this confusion will ever fully pass and that I'll one day finally know at last what I want and where I want to be. ☹️
The pressure is on to make big decisions and amid this energy it's really difficult.
and ps, yes I bought Elsa's transcript <3
I just remembered that next month's new and full moons are in my 10th/4th. The new moon in Leo will be exactly conjunct my MC and by the end of the month is when I will need to be changing homes or location - so Aug 22 full moon will fall in my 4th - hopefully the astrology is lining up appropriately with the timing and there will be some positive clarifying movement in the near future. Ughhh praying
It is very tough. If you can't stand to it, then relax and flow around. And no matter what, keep the faith because this will pass.
I left a post for @Pluto that relates to your transit experience.. unsure how to link it, so letting you know here. 😊