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mother daughter relationship
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Hands48
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Wednesday, May 20, 2020 - 2:42 am
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hellooo

 

which house should i look for my relationship with my mother? I want to understand our relationship better and to see if these aspect would affect me when I become a mother.

 

Thank you.

H48

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Wednesday, May 20, 2020 - 3:18 am
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Look for the house where your moon resides. The moon represents our mother. Check out what planets are interacting with your moon & whether they are easy or hard aspects. The fourth house can represent our early conditioning, so take note of any planets sitting there.

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Wednesday, May 20, 2020 - 5:51 am
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Moon is in Aqua in 8th, conjuncting Sun and Saturn in Cap.

4th house is empty with ruler of the 4th Mercury, unaspected conjuncting DSC.

what do you think of this?

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Wednesday, May 20, 2020 - 6:59 am
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Hands48,

Learning about your relationship with your mother will definitely enhance your own mothering capacities and experiences (I specialise in child psychology and attachment for a living.)

Personally I found learning about my moon hugely benefitial…

I read charts with WHS (whole house sign) system yet I see you use Equal, or Placidus or Koch. I’ll try to read with the placements you share…

 

Moon in the 8th (I have this placement so some of my comments might be of help. I’m not a mother fyi):

Intense emotions. Intense mothering experience. Psychic abilities (so a mother with good hunches.) Some paranoia (a mother with the wrong hunches.) Dreams of being the perfect mother (like moon pluto energies). Inmense mothering abilities: your kid’s friends will tell you their problems. Your mum was sought after by your friends for understanding and nurture. There could be obsession (8th house) to become a mother. Fear of abandonment (mother threatened with silence treatment.) Mother interested in heavy subjects or taboo subjects. A great person to have around when dealing with death and mortality. Inheritances from the mother’s side or from the mother. Great support through life by the mother. Sexual needs are important. If the moon is well aspected a huge capacity to self-care and meet one’s emotional needs. A good grasp of the public’s hidden needs. A good BS radar.

 

Moon in Aquarius: a progressive mum, possibly ahead of her time, and strange and unusual and quirky wherever she’s placed (except if placed with geniuses.) A good mum to have as a teenager (very modern, understanding, gets the need to individuate, might buy you weed or offer you the contraceptive pill) yet perhaps sometimes very independent and hard to attach to at times as a little kid as she wanted to be free and do things. She wasn’t afraid to go against the mainstream. She inspired you always and gave you feminist vibes possibly. A somewhat stubborn mother at times. Low tolerance for boredom (Elsa mentions Aquarius and not liking boredom a lot here in the blog and I used to see this a lot with a friend.)

However her parenting style (moon) might have been radically different from what others were doing and she might have been super attachment-focussed with you, being super available yet doing it by principle/intellectually. Or she might have gone the other way and be a traditional mum when all her peers were working mothers.

You might be super progressive as a mum and need to do it your way (Frank Sinatra’s song), even against convention, knowing that if you’re happy (and still attuned to and consistent with your child most of the time or 50-60% of the time) your kid will be happy.

A scientific disposition. An intellectual mind who inspires others.

 

Moon conjunct Sun and Saturn: a dutiful mother, someone with good social standing and recognition in the commuty. A boundaried (even a firm mother) who was able to be playful too. A mother who perhaps did what two parents (any combo of gender) do together for the child (a single mother?) A mother who favoured hard work and sound education (for some reason I’m seeing Michelle Obama.) A loyal mother. Difficulty expressing vulnerability and emotions (yet in time they can become experts because of Saturn/time.)

 

Ruler of the 4th unaspected and conjunct the descendant: the only thing that came to mind was a parent who is a partner to you in some capacity.

People aspecting your Mercury can shed light on early conditioning as they’d give your unaspected Mercury an aspect.

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Friday, May 22, 2020 - 7:06 am
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Moon in the 8th – this is all completely true, except the inheritance thing. She was like this when I was younger.

Moon in Aquarius: hard to attach to at times as a little kid as she wanted to be free and do things. She wasn’t afraid to go against the mainstream. She inspired you always and gave you feminist vibes possibly. A somewhat stubborn mother at times.

However her parenting style (moon) might have been radically different from what others were doing and she might have been super attachment-focussed with you, being super available yet doing it by principle/intellectually. Or she might have gone the other way and be a traditional mum when all her peers were working mothers.

 

I am reading this again, and it’s amazing how it just depicts my mother. Thank you for your interpretation.

She WAS here, for me, and the most important this was that i must finish school and graduate. She was really terribly afraid i might end up pregnant early and drop out from school. She was like dragon, chasing me not to go astray from this path she had planned out for me. Because of her (not so lucky) love life I can say I am not a traditionally oriented towards family relations and I am comping with this for a while now..

But, since my ASC is in Cancer, and maybe because all of this placements 8th house, I was always longing for a deeper connection with her, for her to be my friend not a boss or my superior. This part I was missing and I think that I still do. And I thank god that this Neptune in my 7th house haven’t worked against me so I was always trying to find a reliable, sincere and genuine and partner because i find it really hard to believe people, especially the closes ones.

I do hope I could be a better friend to my kids someday soon 🙂

H48

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Saturday, May 23, 2020 - 9:32 am
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H48, you’ll be. You’re aware of what you longed for a mom who’s a friend (your mum did the moon saturn more than the moon aquarius – which she still did-) and you’ll offer that to your kids.

You say ‘And I thank god that this Neptune in my 7th house haven’t worked against me so I was always trying to find a reliable, sincere and genuine and partner because i find it really hard to believe people, especially the closes ones.’

That’s a blessing that despite some mistrust around closed ones (the last part of the paragraph) you never lose faith in your search of a dependable and loving partner.

Funny how I thought of Michelle Obama when writing to you above…I’ll check her astro (only remember her Cap Sun and Pisces Venus.) She, like your mother, places great importance on education. I agree with that. In a world were men still rule more education is something women can use and keep forever (or till the brain goes mushy) and it can lead to financial independence. Anyhoo…

Lots of warm wishes in your life dreams!

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Saturday, May 23, 2020 - 10:14 am
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Thank you.

Well, my mother also has Venus in pisces and libra moon, while i think Michelle’s in pisces 🙂

But my mother has that Scorpio mars that helped her a lot.

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Wednesday, May 20, 2020 - 7:21 am
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wow Cris, this is a lot! I might have to read it a few times … definitely resonates with me. wow. heart

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Friday, May 22, 2020 - 7:46 am
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@Cris

 

Where to look fr a parenting patterns in a male chart? i would like to take a look into my bf chart.

 

Thank you

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Saturday, May 23, 2020 - 9:36 am
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Let me have a think.

I am very woman-oriented in my study of astrology yet I’ve also looked at men’s charts too. I’m better at the woman thing so perhaps one of the male posters will chip in.

Will come back to you at the end of my UK weekend.

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Saturday, May 23, 2020 - 10:17 am
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Thank you dear. I really appreciate this 🙂

I hope someone would join this coversation to help us out!

 

Wishing you all the best!!heart

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Saturday, May 23, 2020 - 10:38 am
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The moon is always the first place to look at in women and men, around parenting patterns. Always. So it’s the same with men, I realised.

Even if a man had a man as their main caregiver (i.e. the person whom the baby spends more time with – attachment patterns develop in the first 1.5 years of life so that period is key and later life experiences confirm or reinforce or might shift a little the attachment style) we look at the moon which is the planet that dominates the first 4 years of life (Planetary Ages of Man related Astrology.)

The moon and its aspects point to our attachment style. The moon and its aspects explain how we were handled as babies, how we were fed, diapers changed, cleaned, talked to, distracted with, how we were held, how we were soothed, how we were listened to, how we were attended to and witnessed, how our feelings and emotions were received, how our dependency needs (moon) on the maincaregiver where received when expressed nonverbally or verbally, how we were encouraged or discouraged…..

So you can look at your boyfriend’s chart and look at his moon, moon sign, house position and aspects for a start.

In men you can also look at Saturn and Sun to look at the parenting patterns from the Sun or Saturnian parent (traditionally seen as the father, those planets)

I’d also recommend reading about Attachment. Hugely important and helpful. The parent learning about their attachment style and supporting their emotional and attachment needs (moon) helps the parenting a great deal and helps with correcting possible pitfalls in parenting.

‘Good enough’ parenting is all that is needed.

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Saturday, May 23, 2020 - 11:54 am
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My natal moon is 3rd house Virgo, and my mother’s moon was 9th house Virgo.   My first reaction when I considered my mother was my Saturn in Aquarius.  She was an Aquarian Sun and my perception has always been that she exemplified that ‘beat of her own drummer’ energy.   Saturn being the Master Teacher – the lesson of authenticity and self acceptance is key.  

I’m an analytical communicator.  I continue to have difficulty being organized – which I would have thought a good sense of order would be granted with the Virgo Moon.  My mom had creating order in spades (except that her life disintegrated at the last chapters into alcoholism).  My natal Libra Sun is 4th house.  I am often – even this morning – considering the Womb.  This morning I turned on a Youtube about compassion to accompany yoga and the speaker spoke about God being a Womb, and an inner sense not only that something up there we used to pray to.

Her 9th house moon?  Where higher thought resides.  My expectation of her didn’t allow me to see the gift I now resonate to: the Buddhist concept of everyone being our mother.   She didn’t keep to stereotypical expressions.   I keep an image of the male Dalai Lama and a young boy tending to each other as a central focus for me on my FB page. 

It seems that self-mothering may be our things, Mom and me.   Although our relationship appears less evidently nurturing, she very much taught me self acceptance and as I have been telling clients at the treatment centre where I’ve been working, this is one of our main tasks to self-love.

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Monday, May 25, 2020 - 2:50 am
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I have come to thinking about this since my bf and I have had a different upbringing and because of that we had a clash of cultures (between me and his parents). So some of the things that had happened got me thinking about my relationship with my mother. While mine upbringing was somehow open in a way (or at least all the circumstances have brought me to understand it and see it as open, free, detached), his was definitely traditional (but with the mother being the central figure, matriarchal upbringing) and very demanding. So now I am trying to figure out how much traditional is in me so I could blend this two opposites together, and I think I can, but I do need a huge amount of freedom of thought and movement to remain happy and satisfied, and mostly because if I get constrained my inner rebel wakes up. I am very strong in my opinions so I am trying hard not to dismiss the other side as being wrong.

The two of us have talked a lot about parenting so we do agree on our approach and I am really happy about that.

 

His Moon is in Cap in 9th house on anaretic 29dg, sextiles his Mercury in Scorpio, trines his ASC in Gemini and conjuncts his DSC ins sag. Other aspects are much much wider so I haven’t taken them into account.

But his Sun is in 6thH in Scorpio, conj Venus, Squares AquaMars, trines PiscJupiter

 

H48

 

Edit: his 4th is ruled by Leo.

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Monday, May 25, 2020 - 4:14 am
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H48, it’s great to do this advanced thinking, taking the matter seriouslysmile

Of course you’d take it seriously as you have a key affinity. Your moon is ruled by Saturn and Uranus. His is ruled by Saturn so you both have your moons in the sign of Saturn, that’s really good for co-parenting as having children usually makes couples argue a lot more – a very common phenomenon people don’t always share!

Moon at the critical degree of 29 of Cap so Aquarius would be the sign his Moon would go into (with the 29th degree of a sign the planet is getting ready to enter and learn about the next sign) so your Moon in Aquarius can inspire him to be free in his own ways…I’d say.

Might be wrong yet it looks like he had/has a father figure (father, close uncle, stepdad) who is a really positive, beneficial and expansive figure in his life, apart from arguments with this father figure in adolescence and young adulthood (the sun square mars aspect.)

A man with scorpio planets (sun, mercury here) will be able to connect to the emotional needs of a child and be able to contain well many tricky, complex and darker aspects of parenting. A tendency to some controlling behaviour (I’m scorpio rising and can be!) A moon sextile mercury is nice for connecting with one’s feelings and expressing them. Mercury in Scorpio can overanalyse things and see angles and motives where none is there, hehe.

 

Here’s a curveball from me…

…I think I hear some indications of his mother being quite a force or presence (just in your writing) so with Moon signifying the mother in astrology it’d be interesting to hear about those wider planetary aspects that you mention that you don’t include…

I usually look at all aspects by sign that a personal planet makes (a traditional astrology thing to look at the major aspects by sign that a planet makes – it can be quite a change, I know from usual degree approaches.) And with the luminaries in particular (Sun and Moon) 12 degrees, with regards to aspects, works quite well.

So the other aspects might be quite telling! Just a thought!

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