I want to go to sleep and never wake up. am very tired.
@vdn ((((vdn)))) I had similar thoughts last night. Was feeling very depressed and as if I had had enough of struggling. When I get to feeling this way, I try to listen to my body and will just lie down in bed and feel the depression rather than fight it. I find entering into it with acceptance helps to resolve it more easily, although it's counterintuitive.
I'm sorry you two are struggling. I hope things lighten up soon. ❤️ ❤️
Transiting Pluto moved to 25* Cap yesterday ending a 2 year period for me where Pluto was squaring my Uranus (Libra, 2nd h) and trine my Sun (Taurus, 9th), all at 24*. I went through the ephemeri and in total Pluto was at 24* for 8 months in that period. Tr. Pluto is in my 4th h (many years now) and my natal Pluto is 1st h Libra.
Just starting to rise slowly from the death energy and want to add things I notice for other people about Pluto transits.
Feeling repulsive in some way. Feeling like you are dying, aging out.
Lack of faith - the energy of death makes it harder to access a sense of faith or positive belief. Can affect the imaginative capacities that support imagining future possibilities.
Fear of endings, almost obsessive fixation of the end rather than beginnings.
Existing submerged in unconscious mental content to the extent this becomes your reality, increased anxiety because you are dealing with primitive states of being and core fears. Hard to keep this in proportion.
Feelings of powerlessness or being overwhelmed physically and mentally. Harder to go about your normal day to day activities. Feeling of being in the grip of something.
Getting more in touch with surrendering to life as a response (not much other option).
Getting in touch with core sense of power through recognising your inner resources in response to challenges. Inner resilience and will to live gets exercised.
Will add more as they come to me...
Trines are also not benign, but perhaps less obviously violent/tense energy then a square.
Oh man, when Pluto crossed my ascendant was when the shit really hit the fan. Of course that Pluto was also squaring my Saturn return:) Good times lol.
@libra-noir my pluto is there... but also did you notice that despite the intensity it feels normal? like there isn't any other normal? and life is just a series of one stressful event after another... without respite for so long that one has forgotten what it is to be light hearted. but I see it everywhere though. not only in me... i see it in the world. the world collectively experiencing trauma.
I want to be in public but still premature. I remember making some more recent videos. I think I said it might be a bit early. It was! I think I am clear early 2022. I feel a mixture of glee and horror. 
I have a theory that transits are like your tolerance for spice. If you start eating spicy food very young in life, obviously your tolerance is going to be much higher than someone who only discovers spicy food in adulthood.
Which means to say that if you have those connections to the outers natally, you’ve been primed for them your whole life. You may not like them, but you already know what they are; you have the self-awareness necessary to roll with the punches.
I know this thread is about transits of outer planets to the 12th. I have Pluto in the 12th in Libra natally, so it’s like having a permanent Pluto transit to my 12th. Plus it is my chart ruler.
Pluto trines my Mercury and Moon, squares my Sun and Jupiter. My paternal grandmother tried to annihilate my immediate family (to be fair, she was at odds with my mother) from birth. My childhood was filled with doctor visits, interspersed with shaman visits. Did I mention I also have a prominent Uranus that rules my IC?
Tr Pluto was only done with my 12th in November of 1986, when my immediate family relocated for 3 years. But until I turned 17, my paternal grandmother made renewed attempts to continue with her mission. When she passed away in 2010, I was understandably dry-eyed.
I currently have Tr Saturn opposite my N Merc. I have been hard at work. I have N Saturn conjunct my N Merc in a rolling conjunction to Saturn (Merc, Moon, Venus Saturn) so the need to mentally exert myself is nothing new to me. It has been opposing my N Merc and N Moon for a while now. A while back when it opposed my N Moon, my almost 17 year old dropped out of school.
She has mental health issues that I first came to grips with in 2018. In September this year, we reached the climax of this belly-crawl on glass upwards. Even for, and perhaps especially for, a medical family like mine, such was difficult. Initially when the other medical parents bragged about their children, I would clam up. I was embarrassed.
But I have since processed what I am going through and have “embraced” the process.
I have reflected on my natal and what the challenges are. They are never going to go away.
Yet, most people find me extremely upbeat in person. I don’t know; could be the N Sun N Jupiter conjunction or maybe all that Leo in my 10th.
@estella I think the transits of outer planets are a way to make meaning from those natal placements, which you don't necessarily have at the beginning. For instance, if you are in a car crash, you have the experience, and afterwards you know something intense happened, and maybe you can say, I survived a car crash, and this knowledge impacts how you are, maybe makes you stronger in your self image and changes how you deal with the world. But an outer planet transit is an opportunity to more deeply understand and make meaning from the event of the car crash over time, to really process it and evolve from it, to perhaps know, why would I encounter near death accidents like this (on a soul level). In this way, tolerance of outer planet energy from a natal could be both helpful when having a transit, but also may hinder reaching these levels of understanding. Similar to if you lose sensitivity in your palette because you ate so much spice!
@sophiab I like your analogy and do agree with your interpretation. If you have survived a horrific car crash, everything else after that is seen through the lense of that early experience.
I would agree as well that when you get used to a particular intensity in your life, you don’t feel it as much. I wouldn’t say you become immune to it, but even when it registers, it isn’t devastating.
Where many might be tormented by the darkness of outer planets transiting their 12th, the darkness and I are one.
As I mentioned, Tr Pluto crossed my AC in November 1986. I was then 8 years old. From the late 80s until the end of 1994, Tr Pluto moved through my first and squared my Mercury, then Moon, then Venus, the Saturn. I would say that the process was transformational - but in a good way.
The most challenging times in my life were before the age of 8, when Tr Pluto was still in my 12th, applying to trine my Moon, Venus then Saturn.