I had this thought as I was writing this comment to Susanne Thomas:
"This is great testimony. It’s like we fight our destiny because it clashes with our ego, sometimes? But when we turn toward it, you wind up where you’re supposed to be."
https://www.elsaelsa.com/astrology/the-sum-total-of-your-life/
The ego was the first thing that popped into my head because I think this is true for me, personally. I just didn't want to be a worker bee in the country though it is what I am.
But I realized some head in the direction opposite their destiny because they're judged or maybe criticized when they do what comes natural to them.
I realize this happened to me when I was young. I wanted to marry my (current) husband when I was a teenager but I had no support whatsoever to do so.
I feel I have wound up where I belong and I am often told I am lucky. It's hard to judge that but I do know a lot of people feel they missed their calling or proper direction. What I don't know is if they really missed it, or if it's just not what they imagined.
I wanted to be a dog (Snoopy) flying around on a dog house.
I am far from this!
What did you want for a "destiny"? Have you met your destiny? Do you feel you missed an offramp somewhere? If so, what interfered?
- Not sure if it’s really the ego, on first glance yes, but ego is also a slow development process (and a necessary one) it’s not given to us at birth.
- I think people miss their destiny if they fail to disentangle from their emotional roots. Or, said differently, if they don’t create a different safety for themselves as the one they know growing up. If life is scary, and it is, we all resort to our earliest emotional safe place or behaviour patterns. They are no longer working or, said better, they lead us backwards into dependency and not forward into independence and responsibility.
- I see many people beyond midlife who still go back to the corner in the room with their soft toy or open the fridge when upset. And hate themselves for it.
I had a few years of utter rebellion in my teens, when progressed mercury retrograde was conjunct my sun. I did indeed marry my first love at 18 against the wishes of everyone who cared for me. The marriage lasted 32 years until he passed away, too early. Aries living on the edge.
Generally I think that adversity and challenge is a great primer for self development. It puts the ego through the laundry coming out soft and clean. But I’ve never expected life to be happy ever after and I’ve learned that some people do, against everything they witness around them, it’s a mystery to me how that’s possible.
The most difficult path have children who had no emotional support and serious trauma and feel unsafe on a deep level. If they don’t meet some safe people to connect with, their life can degenerate into a mess they can’t handle.
I feel like I missed out on having a destiny. There has never really been any clear direction that I was aware of. I survived mostly. I have always been envious of people who have a strong inclination of what they should do.
@jana I never knew my destiny either, at least I would never have used words like destiny and never said to anyone that I know it. All I had was an idea of freedom and all I was sure of was that I need ot. I’m not saying the definition of freedom never changed, it certainly did but my compass always moved to point to freedom and independence wherever I went and whatever I did.
Yours doesn’t need to have freedom as a core value, it can be something different but I’m sure you’ve also got one. It’s actually great to find out what it is, because then you can go about following it consciously with more determination.
@jana I have heard about specific astrological placements that can account for big lack in a feeling of "destiny". Probably the most obvious is Sun in the 12th house but I would imagine there are others too.
It seems like a lot of the time we can realize destiny after the fact, though. Especially when looking at a natal chart. It's amazing to get a reading and be told "you're doing your chart." Or have the direction to start doing your chart more
@rapunzelsoldierfish I would agree that realisation is often after the fact. I’m living my chart, destiny or not.
When I was a kid I always pictured myself with 4 kids in a Victorian country home in New England. Stay at home wife and mother. I was pushed into college so that kind of sidetracked me but I now have 4 kids I stay home with and a little bit of land, and I feel that destiny inching closer, just not with the Victorian house and not in New England ?
It's fulfilling and gives me a strong sense of purpose, and I think that's what anyone who follows their calling will feel, whatever the calling may be. The outside pressure is worth it I think but I won't speak for everyone!
Apparently my destiny was to be a hermit!
As an only child I longed for travel and adventure thanks to old movies, books, and television. I read the encyclopedia for entertainment, spent hours in the library, loved old houses, antiques, and history. I never wanted the conventional life. Growing up forced me to focus on earning a paycheck, but over decades I managed to try on many roles, study in areas of interest, travel a bit, know some amazing people, live in city and country, and eventually settle in a cosy old cottage in a small town in a warm climate.
I feel very, very blessed indeed to have acquired a bit of common sense, some resourcefulness, a few skills, and a houseful of books. But I struggle with procrastination -- the to-do list gets longer as I get lazier!
i would say trauma/unconscious belief systems have interfered and kept me within their constraints, not living life fully to my highest potential
@belladonna Understanding my natural inclinations and skills and the things I need to aspire to although they seem foreign by studying the signs and houses of south and north node in my chart has helped me a lot. Actually understanding all opposite signs and their relationship is enlightening.
I love Steven Forrests book Yesterday’s Sky, it was the first time I noticed the importance of the South Node and could identify with the Karma-Destiny narrative of the Nodes.
Maybe you look into this a bit more? Also the transits of the Nodes to your chart and what happened during that time.
Because even if there are many obstacles, they are really there to teach you and do that anyway, whether you are aware of it or not.
Main takeaway for me was stopping to try being someone I am not and being ok with it. Happy actually
The nodes -- yes! Cap NN/ Can SN here. I cherish and nurture at home, was conflicted about leaving the nest, but felt driven to scramble up those mountains. Didn't necessarily realize my highest potential, but a good measure of autonomy