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Change is coming! PLUTO DIRECT  

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soup
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 soup
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Can you feel it? 

I can. It's deep and personal for me. Nothing you'd notice on the outside. 

Hurts! This is some soul work.... from down in the trenches. 

I am taking my first steps forward....okay, I took my first step. This is the most painful shit I have ever dealt with in my life. Why now? Is Pluto trying to get one more in before I drop dead? 

This is worse than when I lost all my belongings. Divorced. Lost jobs. 

Feels like someone took a dagger and shoved it in my chest .... I am bleeding all over the place. 

I can do it. It's making me quiet with people. I really don't have anything to say anymore. I sat with this for the last 5 months and I should have known...

Also, no doctor has told me this....but I can feel my mother dying. I've told no one this. She has been the most horrible loving neglectful protective backstabbing loyal stubborn giving person I have ever known in my life.  I have known her and not known her longer than any other person. Despite it all, I love her. 

Who knew when I lost my grandmother and my little dog years ago It was preparation for this........ you know, so I don't die from it.  God, what am I going to do? She's about to abandon me for the very last time. 

22 Cap dsc 

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PurpleStarGirl
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Soup, so sorry to hear about your mom. Can I ask if Pluto is making contact with your Moon, 4th house ruler or any 4th house planets?

I wonder if Pluto going direct has to do with why I was crying in bed last night. It honestly had nothing to do with what's going with my brother and his health issues but more to do with me missing someone that I haven't spoken to in nearly two months, someone that I keep denying that I love and still care for. And I blew it in the last conversation we had. I just miss him deeply.

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soup
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9 degree Taurus moon in the 10th 

Stellium in the 4th 

(I am so sorry for all you are going though) 

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PurpleStarGirl
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And Pluto must be aspecting all of those houses at some point.

Also thank you, soup. It seems like health crisises are affecting those I care about, have taken someone away from me, or people are just leaving me in general (with no health crisises involved). Although I may have left this particular guy friend before he could leave me and avoid getting hurt, but it seems you can't escape from that either. I still hurt from him not being around and I can't fix it at this point.

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soup
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Getting ready to read 'The Molecules of Emotion'  by Candice Pert. 

Hoping to learn more about the connection between emotions and the immune system.  

I don't need to be covered in shingles for a year.... good God. 

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jana
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heart((((((soup))))))heart

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