“I don’t know what you did, P,” the soldier said regarding a recent rejection I suffered. “What did you do?”
“I have no idea but something happened. How would I know what it was? I assume I wrote something offensive but how could I know what it is that upset him/her? I write 10 blogs a day a lot of the time. That is 50 or 70 blogs a week so how am I supposed to know which one of them was a problem?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well either do I. I don’t even think about things after I write them. I don’t even remember what I wrote and who is to say the offensive thing was written this week, hmm? There is such a thing as archives on my blog so for all I know there was a click back in time and it was something I wrote a year ago or two years ago that sent him/her around the bend. Fact is there are thousands of things I have written and I am not a politician. I never mean to offend but I am sure that anyone could find something to react to if they read long enough. How can you write 8000 things and have someone agree with every single one of them?”
“I am right so I can’t see worrying about this. I either write and I don’t worry about it or I don’t write because I am worried about it and I have obviously made that decision long ago.”
This brings up something I have been thinking about lately, the old adage, “If you try to please everyone; you wind up pleasing no one”. It has occurred to me this idea is applicable to all the people who get surgery to make themselves more “ideal”. You wind up so homogenized, it’s boring.
Do you play for the crowd? Where is Saturn in your chart?
I’m sort of a people pleaser, I can’t lie. I have a hard time saying no. I am especially hard on ettiquette (sp?), I say all the thank you’s, no ma’am’s, yes sir’s…I think that’s why the older crowd always likes me.
But what I don’t do is claim to agree with something that I don’t agree with. But at the same time I am good about saying it so nicely as to not offend anybody. My Saturn is in Libra in the 11th house. I hear my Saturn return will partially be about being fed up with being a crowd pleaser, and I really am looking forward to that aspect because I can definitely be a little more assertive than I am.
I have Saturn in Pisces, astro.com says its the third house. dunno what it means, but am currently working consciously on overcoming the desire to hide my light under bushel in case some guy gets pissed off at my accomplishments and gets on my case like my abusive ex (from patriarchal society where arranged marriages are the norm) used to. am 42.Interested to hear any insights, the email works 🙂
Saturn is in Libra the ninth, cnj jupiter, Two days ago when I commented onthe blog with the poll in it on improving yourself and as always I clicked first so I could see where the majority lay cause, y’know politics . .
Saturn is in the first house and i have to work to not care so much what others think. Although scorpio helps alot in this reguard.
“Elsa, 🙂 I may be reading the hologram wrong, but I think sometimes you feel hurt as well,”
Daemoness – You’re right, I feel hurt every day of my life it’s just a matter of degree. The upside of this (ha ha ha) is I will have no problems dying. 🙂
I do not play for the crowd. My Saturn is in Scorp in the 3rd house. I am always kind of hurt when I get a bad reaction and I don’t know why, yet I have to be true to myself and follow my own sense of right and wrong.
Elsa, 🙂 I may be reading the hologram wrong, but I think sometimes you feel hurt as well, but damn I love the way you speak your truth, and the fact that you are courageous and will be who you are.
Remember no one forces anyone to log in to read your blog. We do because we enjoy and learn from what we see and hear. Others will log in because they have had a bad day, or you just rub them wrong, or they think that they can sling crap and not be held accountable for saying negative things or trying to change you. I have never been able to understand why so many people cannot say… I disagree, and this is why and state their case without getting personal in some way?
I resonate with the saying.. I am able to look myself in the mirror each day and know that I have done what I consider right morally. Don’t cheat, don’t lie and try and speak my truth without hurting another. I feel you are very much that way and that is why I am here daily. I trust you and believe you are speaking from the heart.
My Saturn is in Aries. I write what I like, in fact writing is the one place where I don’t consider what anyone else thinks or feels. I dress according to what I feel like each day and don’t follow fashion. I guess I am unique in my style which others comment on. I am politically challenging on all levels although age is softening my tongue, but when it comes to pleasing others, I don’t go out there to do that, but i do struggle when People are displeased with me.
Another Saturn in Aries here (10th house). I do try to moderate my language, when I write about politics in particular. I could be much more colourful and partisan, but out of respect for any passing readers I try to be at least polite unless I’m really truly pissed off about something. This bent towards moderation probably comes via Mercury in Saturn’s realm of Capricorn.
I do feel upset if I think my words have upset anyone else, so it’s a bit of a balancing act for me. (Cancer ascendant?)
I dress exactly as I want to dress with little thought for current fashion, but I have my own little fashion rules.
Pisces Rising: I dress kind of flamboyant and usually slightly out of the right time period.I did love the 80’s but of course I restrain myself and do not wear those colors or shoulder pads anymore– but I DID THEN!! !
I enjoy my 70’s moments too–. battered jeans ,bracelets, no make up, no underwear–
I like drama and glamour, I enjoy mystery and the whole seduction thing.(My husband, too,SATURN IN SCORPIO)
I have Saturn with Neptune in he 7th — I usually dress to please me and my husband.He loves my gypsy- like clothes– my jewlery, my Grecian sandals, my attention to appearance ..
I have never had an plastic surgery or anything like that and my husband loves the signs on age.. he thinks wrinkles and silver hair are sexy–he enjoys WISDOM in people..
I do try to make myself a little less flowy/gypsy for times I have to work in my spouses office– but still, people coment on my unique earrings or my bracelet–I just gotta accessorize!
At age 54, I am more and more letting go of any “hiding.” I am what I am, a pretty eccentric and at times opinionated gal.
I am an optimist and proud of it.I tend to get under the skin of dues- paying pessimists and I’m glad. LIGHTEN UP! FIND something to smile about for heaven’s sake. (I wasn’t always like this..Moon Cap–my first 15 years were different then a URANUS transit changed me COMPLETELY–And I met a spiritual teacher..)
I turn down a lot of social invitations these days because negative people really drain me and bore me to tears.
Luckily, my work in astrology gives me some poetic license to be who I am even if it’s not mainstream.
I have a care-taker nature, but I won’t be manipulated or “worked.”
And in my book, Karma rules all. So I PAY ATTENTION.
Saturn in Cancer in the 5th house….I would say I try to please people in my writing and social interactions, but could care less about my appearance and dress for the most part. I spent a good part of my life trying to make everyone around me happy, and most intensely in romantic relationships(Venus in Scorpio), but over the years I have learned it’s not possible nor desirable in all situations…. I have had so many personal revelations over the past six months with regard to my interactions with others, and it has helped me grow tremendously. I am learning to love/embrace my Mars in Scorpio energy, which I have viewed in negative light for most of my life. This has awakened an assertiveness in me that I tried to deny for most of my life.
Saturn in Gemini, 11th/12th house (depends on three uncertain minutes)
I’ve done every sort of writing-for-hire imaginable, so I’ve had lots of practice at saying what I want to say while still writing to my audience. It doesn’t bother me to change my tone, syntax, and, to an extent, my style…but no, I won’t say things I just don’t believe (unless we’re talking marketing copy, lol. It pays well, and who knows, it might be true, in some universe.) Even in poetry I’m aware of my audience, though usually more in the revision stages than in the first drafts.
Madelaine, you go girl! I’m working on my Uranus-Sun conjunction now (it’s 5 degrees approaching its first pass) and I hope like hell I end up with an attitude like yours…
Saturn 8th house Aquarius…I can play for the crowd, but only if I feel like the crowd is either harmless or in the right. I stopped playing for the crowd a few weeks ago when my department head showed herself to be harming the students under her care…not physically, but emotionally and educationally…which to me in some ways is worse…and so I no longer could condone it and now I have a new position far away from her!
My Saturn squares my moon. How about that one? Afraid of offending anyone. But having a grand cross in fixed signs with and Aquarian Sun at the top of it. What a mess! Its always upsetting to me when I’ve ticked someone off, but I can’t seem to help it.
I’ve had to learn that when someone reacts badly to me, it has something more to say about them than me. They have a choice on how they act and what they do with their feelings. I have no say in the matter.
Saturn in Pisces, 7th house, opposing Pluto and Uranus.
Waiting tables is all about playing to the crowd, and I’m really good at it. As people get close to me…well, that’s when I shut down.
It’s a definite recurring issue in my life, and one I don’t seem very adept at changing. There are so many people I’ve formed a connection with, great love and respect between us, and I just kind of disappear. I wish I knew why, and how to fix it once and for all.
Aquarius rising. Generally I don’t care much about what other people think of me. I mean, I do care (oh, Leo sun!), but what they think has very little to do with whatever I do. For instance, my brother once told me that his friends thought I was “weird,” and obviously this was not a good thing to him. I raised a disdainful eyebrow, said, “Oh?” and kept on doing whatever I was doing.
Added to all this is Saturn in the 9th, which pretty much says to me, “Whatever I believe in is the right thing!” and anybody who disagrees with me, well, usually they are wrong. Not about everybody, but wrong about me.
SaDiablo – I don’t know the orbs you are talking about but in general, yes the trine covers the stellium as one pulls in the other which pulls in the other.
I haven’t been a people pleaser since I was quite young. It didn’t make anyone like me any better and it made me miserable. Forget that! I’m the one that has to live my life and, by damn, I’m going to be happy! 😀 (Jupiter rising, y’all.)
I’ve got Saturn in early Virgo/3rd conjunct Sun and Mercury in Leo. Found out (just now!) that my Saturn misses being combust by, like, five minutes. *LOL* Ah, well. Interestingly enough, I’ve never cared about fashion or making a good impression looks-wise before, but since my SR started it’s been weighing on me. I want to look and dress better! Even if I still won’t wear makeup. 😉
I’ve got a question: How do aspects to a conjunction work?
Like in may case, I’ve got Sun-Merc-Sat conjunct, with Neptune trine Sun. Would you count it as trine the whole shebang or only the one planet it technically impacts? This is pretty important for me to assimilate, since I’ve got two conjunctions of three planets a piece and there’s a lot of interaction between them and the singletons.
Thanks, E! I thought that’s how it would work, but I couldn’t find anything about it.
In the example I used, my conjunction is spread out over 8° with Neptune trining the Sun near the outside of it’s orb (there is 2° between Sun-Merc and Mercury is unaffected). So I was really confused! *lol* It gets worse with the other conjunction, it’s muuuuch tighter yet somehow one of the planets on the edge always seems to be outside the orb technically. 🙂
Orbs are what we use to cover labor room generalizations of our birth times and our mother’s memories. After all, everyone was far too busy worrying about you to mark down the exact second you drew your first breath!
Despite my exact instructions to labor room personnel, I had to make sure, between gasps that at least one person there looked at the clock when the kinder were born.
When it comes to orbs, I find it is the best policy to observe when events take effect and go from there.
i have a saturn/uranus/mercury (almost moon) T square though, so it’s a constant struggle to balance the need for structure and the need to make my own decisions….
i try to pretend i don’t care what people think but they act ridiculous based upon stuff that doesn’t matter to me and i get hurt and have to deal with it. i guess it heps to get thicker skin and recognize that pain is a consequence of doing what feels authentic… because someone’s always going to be threatened by a person doing what they’re called to rather than following “the rules” (whatever they are.)