“You Don’t Have To Lie…”

VirgoThe old lady I’ve come to know, who is terminally ill with Cancer, called me yesterday.  She was curious how some event in my life had gone. It had gone, poorly.

“Oh, Mary!” I said. “I don’t want to lie to you,” I explained. I hate lying but I did not want to bring her down. She’s dying after all. At any minute for all I know. 

“Lie to me? You never have to lie to me,” she said, gaily.

It was like she was saying, “Elsa, we’re friends. You can tell me anything, anytime, for any reason – you’ve no need to lie.”

Can you believe this? It’s people like this who are dying out.  People who just let other people be people and it’s okay.

Mary is a Virgo. Such an underrated sign.

If there is someone in your life who you can just talk to, without filtering, then I guess you’re as lucky as I am!

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“You Don’t Have To Lie…” — 10 Comments

  1. “Mary is a Virgo. Such an underrated sign.”

    Agree! I have a Virgo friend and she is the absolute best- I wish she lived closer to me…

  2. I don’t have to filter myself with any of my friends. That’s why I love them so much. We all accept each other for who we are and hold space for any differences.

    @Elsa, Mary sounds like a true friend.

  3. Mary is a Virgo. Such an underrated sign!
    Oh I relate. The truth can set you free. Or increase your loneliness. Said tongue in cheek. True friends are the best.

  4. What a peach! Cherish your moments with such a woman. May we all have such grace and strength as we face life’s transitions. Glad you found each other.

    Hugs to you and to Mary!

  5. I saw, Mary, today. She did not look great.

    I brought her some whisky-soaked fruitcake, made by, Jilly, the same way her mother made it before they had refrigeration. I also brought her some peppermint patties… Christmas. She likes, sweets.

    I want you all to know that, Mary has a bottle of Aleive from Walmart for her (cancer) pain. I mean, she has lung cancer, spread to her fingernails and toenails and lymph nodes. It’s unbelievable. She doesn’t whine at all.

    She told me that someone left a bottle of Tylenol Nighttime outside her door. She’s been taking a couple of those at night and sleeping better.

    It’s unclear why she is in this condition, other than she is poor… indigent. I am afraid to give her something I have lying around, for fear that I kill her.

    She talks about January and February. January, maybe. February, I don’t know.

    She has a DNR but says the paramedics can’t honor these… only the hospital. She’s trying to get to the hospital.

    I don’t really know how to work the system, but if someone tells me, I’ll do it. If I go over there, and she looks to be in PAIN, I am going to take her to the emergency room and tell them whatever I can think of.

    I’m pretty much going there every other day… someone comes by every day. She’s not that close (logistically), unfortunately. But I am also a phone call away.

    I don’t want to alarm her. I really don’t think she knows how near death she is. So if she’s up, making her toast and eating it; offering me a cup of coffee, then I am not going to make some kind of hero – dipshit – move. I pray I know what to do and when to do it… or that someone who does and can and will is there, when an action is needed.

  6. When my folks were in Hospice, the nurses just told me to let them have any foods they ask for, and to keep them comfortable. I hope that you can get some support when the time comes. I am sure it’s daunting Elsa.

  7. My 13 year old daughter just said to me the other day that the good people are all being taken from this earth. Why would god leave people here that are mean and cruel and full of hate for others. I don’t know why just maybe those people have more lessons to learn and the good have completed their journey. I know it isn’t fair tho. I hope your friend has a lot of worthwhile days full of truly living in the days she has left.

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