Women – When Do You Have Sex With A Man You’re Dating?

I had a client ask when I thought a woman should have sex with a man she is dating. I guess we all have some sort of answer to that. What’s yours?

This fundamental sex question seems relevant with Saturn in Scorpio.  Do you have some kind of sex rules or standards?

Also, have your rules changed in the last six months as Saturn changed signs?

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Comments

Women – When Do You Have Sex With A Man You’re Dating? — 20 Comments

  1. hmmm…. I’ve been quick to jump into bed prior to dating. Hence…my dating life has a quick turnover. Last guy I dated waited a month to kiss me. So I think scorpio in saturn is teaching me a little something 😉 I’m a venus and sun in sagittarius. yeah, we can be impulsive.

  2. I used to think it’s ok to have sex from the first date.. my thoughts on this changed dramatically. I don’t want to have a relationship that starts from there nowadays

  3. I go by feel and it’s usually related to time invested. If I actually stop to think about it beforehand, 2-3 months feels about right. I’ve only hit that benchmark once, though. 😛

  4. If I’m sexually attracted to a man, it can happen the first time I meet them. If I’m not, then it can take ages. This has backfired on occasions though. It’s funny how the guys I DON’T immediately want to have sex with really like it when I’m “hard-to-get”, when it basically just means that I don’t find them sexually attractive enough.

    And then about a month ago I took an instant like to this guy whom I had sex with the first night we met (I was a bit drunk), and it was really really good. Until he afterwards implied that he’s not interested anymore because I had sex with him so soon. Double standard piece of sh*t. Yeah, Saturn in Scorpio, I have decided not to do that anymore, no matter how attractive I find a guy.

  5. That is a question that I’ve considered a couple times in the last few days. Must have something to do with Saturn brushing up against my Venus…

    My conclusions…. are complex…

    I think it depends on the situation, what one is looking for, be it a long-term or short-term goal.

    For me, there is always an emphasis on sex {Ven conj Nep conj Mars, in 2H/Sco}. If I’m not sexually attracted in the first place, it never works out. I have to be mindful that sex is a big deal for me but not in the way it seems to be for the majority of society.

    There’ve been times when it was only sexual attraction that brought me & someone together. Other times the attraction has been deeper, but not sexual. And still there are those times when it is a stimulating combination of both. Whatever the case may be, I make it quite clear~with a charming honesty~what I feel.

    I almost always have sex on the first date. However, it is always preceded with a conversation about expectations. It absolves me of any of the guilt that others seem to struggle with.

    So i guess I’m one of the lucky ones in that I know this about myself from the start & am able to live authentically with my sexuality, while also being honest with my partner of the moment.

  6. It varies depending reason for the relationship, upon your age, and whether you are having an astrological transit that would either restrict or encourage sexual relationships. Look at fifth house transits and transits to Venus and Mars.

  7. YES!!! My standards have definately changed. I really don’t want to have sex with anyone. AT ALL. Unless one condition is met. I have to be feeling love *before* that happens. Period. I’m serious. There’s no going back to, ‘oh-let’s-just-see-if-there’s-a-connection. There *has* to be a connection *before* it happens. When I was younger, the hormones made me do it. Lol. Now, I want something/someone long lasting. Life lasting. I’m serious. Getting it was nice, but I did it wrong. There was no love. There has to be love *before*, not *after*. Most of the “love” I’ve felt, was only felt *after* I was with the person. And that wasn’t love. I need love. Pure Love. I’ve only felt love for one person *before* it happened. And that’s the *one* I’ll never forget. He and I didn’t rush into anything. So when it did happen, it felt natural. I felt love for him before it happened, and I was so in love after. The one that got away, ya know? I *still* feel love for him. That’s real. I want that feeling again. Love.

  8. I am not trying to be mean, but the term, “men with less than honorable intentions,” just cracked me up. It depends on the woman and her comfort level. Some individuals will only want sex in an exclusive committed relationship. Other people want to know their partner. If two people feel a strong sexual attraction, why not have sex. If some person thinks less of you because you didn’t stick to their sex time table, they aren’t the right person any how.

  9. I’ve been super affected by Saturn and Scorpio. I just basically just down. Saturn will be transiting my Pluto in a matter of days, and exactly opposing my Venus.
    I’ve never been particularly promiscuous, nor have I ever slept with someone on the first, second, third, or even 10th date. I don’t think I could. It was always kind of restricted… but now the restriction is more extreme. I can feel my loved ones falling away.

  10. I used to have no rules. The past few months I decided that I should take enough time to get to know the other person before jumping into any sexual/love situation. Saturn in Libra gave me some hard lessons with regards to relationships that crashed my spontaneity and Saturn in Scorpio gives me rules to follow. It feels restricting but it feels for the better too.

  11. Sometimes people use each other. It’s a mutual using.

    I think if you are dating and you are really into each other’s spirit, mind and are attracted…things will take the route they are going to take, unless they stop one another and have “the talk”. And in some cases it can be too late if they don’t and it ruins everything. Other times it sets the pace and the relationship takes off.

    As I get older though, I know now I would not engage at all, unless I was pretty sure we could be a sure thing. I made the mistake of making advances only to find out the other person had not intention to engage with me that way, but had laid out a red herring path that led me to do believe otherwise. And I will never let myself do that again! EVER!! It’s just my Mars in Scorpio took the green light signal as “GO” rather than “I like you, I think you are attractive, but not attracted TO you.”

  12. From 1993 until 2006 – with Pluto transiting my seventh house (Scorpio) – I didn’t have sex or want to have a partner at all. Saturn is still in my sixth house, but I’m betting it will have a familiar feel in my seventh. Either I won’t partner, or I’ll find someone and have a very intimate/intense relationship. I did become very good friends with a woman who is dying from Pulmonary Fibrosis. Also my mother is 84 and is needing more care. Doesn’t get more Saturn in Scorpio than that.

  13. have to wait and see what read i got on them over time… usually at least a month after i met them. if i’d known them for awhile, that counted…

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