“They’d be those kind of women who only have friends who are uglier than they are. You know those women?” I asked.
“I thought pretty much all women were like that,” my husband said.
“No they’re not. I’m not like that. Hmm,” I said, challenged to think about it. “My friends are always… they’re distinctive. I always choose people who are singular and the men who like them, like them. However, when I was single I always wound up running with women who had taste opposite mine.”
“Yeah. Invariably my friend always liked skinny blond men. You know… hippies. Men who look like Tom Petty who is just gross. I liked short-haired, dark-haired men so there was never a conflict. We could divide the room like that.”
“Yeah, this was always the case. Even when I ran the with Ben, this was the case. Ben and I have very similar energy but a man is either gay or he is not so there again, we could divide the room. I never made friends with someone I would have to compete with, this is true but for different reasons.”
“I see, P.”
“Yeah, none of this we like the same kind of men but I-saw-him-first bullshit. I think my way is much smarter. I never had to run over my friend to get a man and she never had to run over me. Blond? There is one for you. Dark-haired? I am going after that. And then we’d run interference for each other, see? ”
“Okay, P,” he said with a chuckle.
“So that is how I handled this when single and when I have been partnered, that means I have a man I want, my friend has a man she wants and that’s that. It doesn’t matter what she looks like because there is no swapping. You have yours and I have mine. I keep my man and she keeps hers. If she doesn’t like her man she can get another one, but not mine. You see? I have never had to compete with another woman for a man because of this. This is my way.”
“I figured this out when I was 14,” I said. “It has always been this way. Even my roommates back when we were kids. One of them liked black men and the other was church-y. She wanted someone all religious and that was not my kind. You were my kind.”
He snorted again.
“Oh, come on. I know you like it that I’m like this.”
“P, I have always enjoyed every aspect of your thinking.” (Venus in Gemini)
On that, we said good night.
Do you compete with other women?