It’s common people want a person to for a partner but they have a problem with some of the person’s behaviors. They want these behaviors to be changed or be addressed.
There are times when this is appropriate and can happen. Couples can work things out but there are other times where the thing you don’t like is the person, or such a large part of their nature, if you don’t like it, you’d be best off to cut your losses.
As an example, I write this blog. It’s a big part of my life. My husband had to accept it if we were to be together. This was not an ultimatum I gave him, he figured it out himself. In fact he informed me he thought my blog was so important that if marrying him would interfere in anyway, he should not be with me!
On the flip side, my husband threatens to kill people many times a day. It’s quite shocking when you first hear it and most would have an impulse to tell him to curb it. They just wouldn’t want to hear his graphic descriptions of violence but the fact is, this stuff is baked in and to tell him not to speak in that manner would be like telling me not to use the word, Saturn.
My husband and I are accepting of each other as-is. We are in for a penny, in for pound, without exception and it sure feels good.
Do you feel capable of accepting someone as-is?