This is in regards to this post – Scorpio Amputation – Why You Can’t Figure It Out
I was talking about this post with a gal. She thought that most of the people who commented on that post (including me) felt that the fact a Scorpio is unforgiving was some kind of asset. It was a great comment.
I told her that I didn’t think it was an asset. I thought it was a problem. “We should all be forgiving, but it comes easier to some then it does to others…”
I compared it to someone who has to struggle with their weight. We should all be the perfect weight – this is certainly not the case. So Scorpio might be the sign least likely to forgive. That’s just the way it is.
But I do agree with her. If your friend comes to you with a heartfelt, earnest apology and you don’t or can’t accept it, you can’t really hang that on the other person.
“What’s in it for the Scorpio?” she asked.
Who wants to answer it?
The absolute truth of trust or not… theres times when I know I should forgive and a lot of times I do.. But alot of times I don’t..& I guess when I don’t it’s because my trust can’t be revived.. But I think we don’t know how to forgive bc we want the person to be “punished” ( not saying this is good) but it’s bc we want that person to KnOW what they did “wrong” that jeopardized my trust.. And until I believe they understand it, I can no longer exchange my energy with that person. Sometimes apologies aren’t enough…But I think it’s from feeling unappreciated energy wise.. So we take it to the extreme and make you understand it by making you see what it’s like without us in your life. It’s hardcore no doubt and I’ve actually taken many back in after long periods but other times I have not .. & I know I’ve left all of those people hurting .. But the ones I didn’t let back in, I no longer trusted.. The ones I did it’s almost like eventually I instinctually felt it okay to let them back in, as if their lesson learned equated to my trust earned. Trust is deeeep for me though, and It’s not always fair bc I know people are human… But when you have energy like that, it is what it is.. it becomes a real investment
This is how I’ve experienced it from them, fortunately I’m mainly a trusted one but I have a tendency to force then to look at themselves far too often and maybe too brutally so I get the occasional cold shoulder!
You couldn’t have said it better. I really feel sorry for Scorpio and Scorpio Ascendants who get to feel this way. Almost 2 years ago my daughter said she never wanted to see or hear from me again. It was over something stupid and I apologized to her at that time but I guess that wasn’t good enough for her. We have lost all that time. I am 74 and I don’t know how long I have but I do forgive her and I have let it go. When she wants to come back, she is always welcome. I think Scorpio get their kicks out of having someone suffer, but believe it or not I am not suffering. I feel sorry for her.
I dint think it’s an asset, they may think it protects them but they are equally freezing parts of themselves too…
Funny was thinking this the other day I know loads of Scorpios (men) and they’ve all suffered with cysts…psychologically that’s a lot of repressed gunk 🙁
@elemis, that’s really terrible. makes a whole lot of sense. keeping in all that hatred inside until you just can’t stand it anymore.it’s better to explode and let it all hang out.
Yes it’s weird isn’t it that I know about 10 Scorpio men (not all intimately I must stress!) and every single one of them has had cysts! I don’t know loads of other people with them! I have another saggitarian friend who is covered in them (all benign often sebaceous) and lo and behold he has a Scorpio moon venus and Merc.
Weird. Louise Hay would have something to say about the psychological connection for sure! 🙂
yup. i often have to read my husband’s “mind”; if he’s internally upset, i just know it. usually i say out loud what he’s thinking or what’s heavy in the air. i can’t stand keeping it in, i wanna lay it out. just the other week he kept it in about something and i just waited for him to tell me late in the evening. jesus. i guess i might do the same.i dont know, but when astrologers say you gotta be kind of psychic. gosh it’s true!!
Many men take a lot longer to process things I’ve found …before they are ready to get it out.
Whats in it for scorpio is not wasting energy
exactly and there’s a difference between choosing not to waste energy and forgiving. I’ve already made the decision to forgive, I just choose not to continue to waste energy in the situation.
I forgive as well, I forgive myself for cutting the person loose and wish that person well and far away from my personal life. Most people are not aware I have actually done that, it seems to take them a few years to realize I have moved on because I do it kindly, however, a straight up attack is a full blown amputation. DONE NO EXPLANATION AND NO LOOKING BACK JUST DONE! KIKI FROM CT.
I think it’s totally healthy to cut toxic people off or even someone who hurt you but what isn’t healthy is the vengeful wanting them to hurt and repressed anger and bitterness I’ve seen …forgiveness is more about yourself than the other person…forgiveness allows you to move forward in peace and with a heart open to new opportunities
I think it’s important to learn to forgive too.. But sometimes not doing is is warranted, so perhaps it’s an asset bc you’re not making shitty investments.. But you don’t want to end up being so stuck in your way that you wash out the good nutrients too.. I think it’s a matter of recognizing it within yourself and overtime learning when to let up/yield or not
In my experience, Scorpios forgive, but they never forget.
I think it’s possible to forgive a person and still not want to go another round with them. This is generally what happens with me.
I can easily, readily forgive virtually anyone for anything. But if I feel they would do the same thing again or if the fundamental problem still exists, and can’t or won’t be addressed, then it makes no sense to spend anymore time with them.
But this does not mean I am walking around holding a grudge! It just means we’re incompatible.
But *I* can be the reason we’re incompatible. I have no problem with that.
I’m blamed all the time anyway, and it just doesn’t bother me. It also doesn’t change the outcome.
It’s because of this, I rarely defend myself. I don’t see the point. I know people need a villain. It’s a “dirty nasty job” but someone has to do it. 🙂
If I have another life, maybe I will have a new assignment. But I’ve gotten really good at this one…don’t really mind if I asked to re-up! 🙂
Couldn’t have said it better…
You are right there. About forgetting. Too many times when forgiveness is requested it means forget that it happened so the person has permission to do it again. That’s the circle game. And yes, I do work that pattern with folks if I feel they are making progress or capable of change but if not, I am just setting myself up for more grief. I guess it’s a three strikes, you are out, with me. Harsh I guess, but so are the offenses to me. Probably, most important is that I am learning not to take some people seriously. Then it doesn’t matter. I’m immune.
Having very a strong Pluto placement and Sun in the 8th house conjunct Pluto, I can say that when someone angers me, I want to see them suffer. Not the best trait at all. It is like wishing the universe will strike them down and make them feel everything they did wrong. It is a lot like the natural scorpion stinging for the pure pleasure of it, but not by my own doing. And most times, people who do cross me, end up getting a lot of trouble headed their way. Scorpio/Pluto people feel everything deeply and to strike a wound in them, they want it paid back 100x over. This is something that I wrestle with constantly. When I am not angry, I am fine, but when I get mad it is like wishing fire to rain down upon those that made me that way. And since Pluto is heading into my 12th house, I am trying to isolate myself from contact with other people. I can’t keep friends long, because I end up exploding at them and driving them away. Sighs. Of course it doesn’t help having Uranus conjuncting my sun from the other side in my 8th house too. I truly think that I was born at the worst time.
Agree with Elsa. You can forgive someone, but still not want to be a part of their life. If their past behavior indicates they will likely re-offend, why take the risk?
Forgiving doesn’t mean acting like a betrayal never happened. It means letting go and not dwelling on it. Sometimes you have to bar the offender from your life in order for that to happen.
In other words… if someone’s presence in your life feels toxic, it is best to stay away from them, even if you forgive past behavior. And yes, the toxicity can stem from me, and I don’t care. Toxic is toxic.
I’m a Scorpio and yes I do the amputation thing. However I do ultimately forgive people especially when the apology is sincere, but never can I forget and there is where the problem is. You may truly forgive someone but letting go of the reason you had to forgive that person in the first place that just doesn’t happen. Therefore it destroys any trust you may have had with that person.
For me, forgiveness is recognizing the pattern is changed. If an apology is heartfelt fine, what matters to me is whether they will do it again. But that may be more of a saturnine perspective.
That’s the distinction for me too, Sio.
Sometimes people say they are sorry, and what they’re sorry for is that you are not in their life.
This is the most common scenario for me. People who really apologize for things they do….internally process it are very rare. It’s different then saying what you think you should say to restore a relationship.
Aside from being willing to see their own shadow, the person has to be very intelligent.
I can really only think of one person who has apologized in this way, to me, in my entire life. And it was satori.
Most people tuck a “fuck you” or a “you suck” into their apology. And the most you can say to that is, “Thank you.”
I also agree, Sio.
What is in it for the Scorpio? I am not positive in this but I think it is loss. Scorpio and the eighth house seems to be destined to learn to deal with endings, loss and death in many forms. Nothing is permanent fot anyone but nobody knows this better than the Scorpio. It is not that the Scorpio enjoys this in any way, it is just that it is central to the mission of learning in his or her evolution. Being familiar with this theme, amputation is sometimes used.
I agree with this as well. And said something along these lines to the gal I was discussing this will.
You get to keep your pain…which is a lot better then getting more pain, lol.
But I do see this as a challenge for Pluto-types..
My husband has a Scorpio Moon. He never ejects anyone from his life, he just never tells them anything with any weight, ever again.
He suggests I do the same…but the rest of my chart won’t allow that. It’s shows a lack of integrity, which is uncomfortable to even think of, plus it’s a waste of my time and theirs.
People who do like to talk to me, like my ideas…and maybe my stories / entertainment. So if I’m to clam up…it would be stupid, if it were even possible.
Basically, if I can’t offer / deliver what it is that I have to offer, then there is no use showing up, for either party. 🙂
“My husband has a Scorpio Moon. He never ejects anyone from his life, he just never tells them anything with any weight, ever again.”
Wow. perfect description. I do the exact thing too.
scorpio mars in 8th
Crap. I wish my scorpio moon siblings would show a little weight. Oh well, they are libra suns, what a conundrum. Sometimes I’d like to say, grow a pair, a real pair, would ya?
it’s odd, but that libra sun is “strong” like their opposite aries sun, so unless they have a super strong stellium, they don’t usually grow balls. My mother is very diplomatic but if you cut her up, she’ll cut you up 10x. Diplomacy is out the door.
“You get to keep your pain…which is a lot better than getting more pain”. That is the most hilarious thing I have ever heard but it is brilliant. I do not feel that your way differing from your husbands is right or wrong, it just is. And I think that it is as it should be. He blesses those he interacts with in his own unique way and the same is definately true of you. We are all unique in this world and I would hate for it to be any other way.
SUN in a perfect SQUARE with PLUTO here!
another Unforgiving Scorpio type!!!
LIFE made us that way… im almost 40, and i dont seem to get easier. And yes, it does bother me, but trust seems harder.
That’s the distinction for me too.. Which is why I don’t consider amputation grudge holding.. Forgiveness in terms of amputation is me having amputated you, but after time letting you back in my life because I have trust in you again. I rarely hold grudges against those I don’t let back in, and many have pleaded to be let back in.. & I’m usually always cordial in my responses which is what baffles them and hurts them even more.. And often many of them then go on to project off of me & say how cold & mean I am .. When I’m answering them and being civil , but they just can’t understand how I’m sorry isn’t enough in certain cases.. I’m not walking around pissed at them, but I dont really see it as forgiving them either. I just let them go & they’re astonished that they can’t get back in. with venus sq Neptune I thank god for my pluto scorpio instincts
When I was adolescent I used to be very grudge holding.. I’ve worked very very hard to evolve from that, and best use my scorpio power… And it’s taken experiencing a lot of death to realize that forgiveness is necessary . My mother has scorpio moon and she can hold a grudge like no other.. I’ve tried to help her with a lot of that over the yrs and I think she has learned to yield from me, as she has told me I have.. Which is nice , but at her age it saddens me to see when she wallows in resentment
Now I do have to say with lovers I struggle a bit more with resentment
I’m a Moon/Saturn/Mercury/Venus in Scorpio person. Mercury/Venus are square my natal Pluto as well.
Once someone has betrayed my trust, I’m done with them. I’ll accept their apology, if I get one, but our relationship is changed forever. I get deeply hurt by what they did. Sometimes I might want to overlook it for awhile, but in the end, I always have to amputate. The longer that relationship carries on, the more it hurts me. Amputation ends the pain, but even that takes awhile.
What’s in it for me is I no longer
My reply got cut off. Its my fault, so nothing is wrong.
What’s in it for me is I no longer tolerate people like that. You may not like my methods, but my message is clear.
I don’t believe in forgiving, i think it’s a toxic concept. I guess you could attribute this to 8th house sun + scorp asc/mars, but just in general, i really don’t think that trying to consciously forgive is a good idea for anyone. It’s either hurting or it doesn’t. If it’s hurting, then “forgiving” would be a lie because that would be like a promise to not get angry with the person re the issue, and i know it all too well that such feelings may return when i’m low or when something else that is bad happens. then who do i betray if that happens? myself with my emotions? or the person i felt that i forgave? i try not to give promises i can’t keep, ok? i was hugely hurt by my ex, never tried to forgive him, but not in a smug way – i know he tried, i know he did what he could, i know i probably wouldn’t have done any better. we have a really good relationship now as co-parents, and now it feels like there is nothing to forgive, it’s just gone, the hurt. but it’s like life that has cured it, not my conscious efforts. forgiveness is too moral (?), this concept just puts too much pressure on people to lie to themselves and others. i don’t think people have that much power over their emotions, but i do feel that by just going on and being more or less open and attentive we may notice how unpleasant feelings just go on their own. or they may come back. whatever.
I feel as you do nadia. I have Scorpio asc./ n.node, venusand mars 8th. Time is the prescription for the ailment. There is a certain toxicity in the application of forgiveness as a balm. Forced morality will not take care of anything and it should not be forced upon you as a necessary tool for healing. What you say has a great deal of merit.
Real forgiveness cannot be forced, it evolves …but often through introspection which can require a consciousness about learning to let go and heal
i don’t see the point of calling this forgiveness (and “real” forgiveness – that sounds like a real pink unicorn to me). sometimes past hurts just lose their weight is all. it happens all the time. it doesn’t mean they’re gone forever though – i’ve seen too many cases of people remembering past hurts so vividly and getting so angry even after years of not caring much. i don’t trust the words of people who claim that they can “really” forgive something and not blame the person they forgave re the issue ever again. because sometimes that happens – you get depressed, someone hurts you in the same way again and there you go. or it could be a positive trigger – say, someone treats you way, way better and you can finally see just how shitty your past situation has been and – there you go. it’s feelings! they’re water (or more like – neuropeptides in your bloodstreem). you govern your actions, yes. but to me it seems like a waste of effort and good intentions to try to govern emotions.
less carbs + 2-3 workouts per week + more time outside = i’m a happier person, much easier to deal with and i enjoy feeling feelings.
bad diet + much stress + procrastination = i’m a miserable person who is easily hurt.
a conscious intention to release pain would probably be a factor #113 in really changing the way i feel. after maybe just how far away from saturday we are today and before the brand of toothpaste i’m using.
I found that very sharp tbh, we are all different
I’ve really forgiven people past hurts and yes it was about letting it evolve and it losing weight.
It hasn’t been triggered again because I put the deep exploration and understanding in, not emotional control or governance. Each new experience is pretty much that to me, not a sorry reminder of a past hurt. I just prefer to feel that way.
So yes… real forgiveness not pink unicorn fluff
and I wouldn’t wish for anyone to forgive me either. i’m very careful to not apologize in a demanding way (please forgive me), but to do it as an indication of my attitude (i apologize, or smth that could be translated as i’m bringing you my apologies).
i seriously believe in life sorting things out. like i really enjoy words and talking and emotional talking etc., but actions and what’s really actually happening in the present is just so much more important than what people think/say. i feel that a lot of times there’s too much focus on emotions/thoughts and not enough focus on actions and what’s really happening. i don’t need to forgive anyone to see that they add value to my life. or that they’re stealing from me. it’s not forgiveness-related.
I love that you’re fair. I see so many “I don’t forgive anyone but I command that people forgive me.” At least you don’t expect or command someone forgive you. It’s refreshing.
It’s from past experiences. Likely, if a person who is sane does something once, they’ll probably do it again, and again. The Scorpio, or the person, gets tired of the guessing game, “Will person B do it again, or not?” So then snip, the person cuts person B out. You get to living and meeting a lot of people, you get to know that there are a lot of toxic people out there, and that lots want to play mind games with you. “Now fishvirgin, you just sit there like a good girl and let me spit in your face. Then let me act all innocent and ask you why you’re upset at me, okay?”
Not going to happen.
Forgive the person – not the action..Scorpio Asc – strong 8th house.
For me amputation is not synonymous with grudge holding. I hate amputating people because it is incredibly painful, at least for me. I very rarely amputate but when I have, it is because trust is broken deeply, there has been a realisation of very strong energy imbalance and that it would actually be pathologically disastrous to continue in the exchange. I understand how the other would find this unforgiving to amputate but honestly to get to amputation I have forgiven much and yet the pattern or pathology has not changed.
I think the asset of amputating is that you remove a kind of poison that is eating you up; it’s a case of survival. However there not is not a day that goes by that I don’t painfully mourn the amputation. You amputate a gangrene leg to save the rest of the body but you are still without a leg and that is hard to forget…at least for me.
That was wonderfully put
Thanks Elemis 🙂
I think that’s an interesting question. Does there really have to be a motive. Like what am I getting out of this? I might just be shedding dead skin. A person may need to move on. Does there have to be something in it for me? Shedding weight might be enough???
Personally, as a tropical Scorpio and a sidereal Libra, forgiveness follows humility. What’s in it for you, Scorpio scorpion? Begin with a lack of bitterness which defiles the soul, and spiritual growth that leads to love for humanity and our Oneness and the transformation of the scorpion/eagle/phoenix into the dove. Yes, Scorpio the Dove. 🙂
What’s in it: avoid wasting precious time with untrustworthy people.
Forgiveness depends on how serious the offence was. Some things are truly unforgivable. The Scorpio/Plutonic type is best equipped to tell apart who had truly nasty motives – those need to be amputated, so as to save precious time. As about the rest, a heartfelt apology should be followed by not re-offending. If they do: that would be more loss of precious time.
I struggled for years with the unacceptable things my parents did to me, and struggled with may psychologists’ advice to “forgive”. Then one day I came across a different school of psychology, which said: “You don’t need to forgive”. I felt better in one split second. Some things are truly unforgivable.
I’m another Scorp in the Why Forgive? camp. I actually do forgive a lot, but in rare cases I don’t, it’s because of integrity. If someone does something truly egregious, I feel it’s wrong to forgive it- God can do that, but little old me can only see it for what it is- wrong, unacceptable. I don’t accept it, I can’t forgive it.
It’s more like an internal thing, an awareness of wrongdoing or evil. I actually feel it’s wrong to forgive people who have hurt your loved ones. You will never see me on TV forgiving a killer or criminal- I think it’s your duty to carry the torch of that hatred for them, avenging their death/pain.
lol, I’m in quite a mood…hahaha!!!
I think there’s lots of things that are unforgivable and people need to cut their losses and move on/away from the source. But forgiveness is coming to terms with it in a way where there is peace with it so it doesn’t eat YOU up inside.
No point in amputating someone if the anger and hurt are going to stuck around. And I see this a lot in Scorpios. Not letting go of the hurt. And then the only person it really hurts is themselves.
I’m not a Scorpio, but the reason I won’t forgive someone is out of self-protection. I am so forgiving, I can actually convince myself to forgive someone, after they’re screwed, blued, and tattooed me. Because of this tendency, it’s actually better for me to stay very far away from someone / amputate who has hurt me because from my experience, they just hurt me again. People do not change. Thus, they hurt me, I forgive them, they betray my trust and hurt me again… and then I think about forgiving them again. I’d rather not subject myself.
Please don’t make the mistake of feeling sorry for us. If Scorpio cut you off it wasn’t because of one small thing. It was because of years of nonsense and no good reason to trust you again.
Also, Loyalty is not to be taken lightly. If you don’t understand the true sense of the word, don’t bother trying to have any sort of deep or lasting relationship with a Scorpio. (Friendship or otherwise)
And a Scorpio will CUT you off and still be around where you can see them. Of course they wont see you. I mean, you may be in the room, but they wont notice. It’s not a game. If your dead to me how can I see you? I often wonder why its considered a game. Never speaking to someone again certainly doesn’t sound like a game to me. Its final. If you can live with that good on you, if you cant you will question them and their motives and think they are playing a game. Scorpio is pretty serious about matters of the heart. So, I wouldn’t second guess one when they disappear. You’re probably best to just go on and let it go.
Hey, I can talk to you all day long about the weather should you prove to be untrustworthy. But why waste my energy on such things. We want the real deal in our lives and we don’t apologize for that. And we don’t need anyone to feel sorry for us because of it either.
If the Scorpio in your life never tells you another thing and only talks to you from a distance or, not at all….what in the name of all that is holy did you do to them? Because if they are your friend they would have probably carried your lifeless body through the trenches of hell until you were on your feet again.
There are going to be dysfunctional nuts in every sign under the sun. But if we are talking about someone who was either a close family member, lover or a best friend (Scorpio) and they walked off and you cant find them, look in the mirror and ask what you did. They just aren’t going to let you hurt them anymore.
Another thing, if a person is talking shit about another person to me… I wouldn’t get close to them for all the tea in china. Scorpio hates an insincere backstabbing jackass and if you are one, you will be dead to them.
I love my mother. I have never stopped. But being betrayed by the person who is supposed to love you most is unforgivable and a good way to watch one disappear right before your eyes. I will never stop loving her, but I cant trust her. So, there is that.
Scorpio just happens to be strong enough to walk away and survive, and people don’t like that. They spend a good amount of time trying to kill something that just isn’t going to die. Makes a person pretty unpopular, but never underestimate one and for Pete’s sake don’t feel sorry for them. They are probably doing just fine! And they probably rarely think of you at all. Scorpio has a mind like a steel trap.
Forgiving something that someone truly didn’t mean to do is one thing. Forgiving something thing that you know will continue to deplete you of energy and continually cause you heartache and pain is a whole other animal.
I know a lady. She always looks so serious. I know she has a deep love for her child and her husband. I also know she is capable of taking me to the war torn streets of Beirut! She’s a tiny little thing. But her energy is powerful. You can feel it coming off her. If she likes/loves you, well, that is good. If she does not, dear Christ run for your frigging life. (I am glad I am on her nice list)
How do I know this about this tiny little woman? I accidently ran across her birth date and found she shares my Stellium. There was something familiar about her when I met her. I liked her and wanted to run from her at the same time. Having that mirror in front of my face was good. Helped me see myself and how I come across to the people I meet. Now I draw on the rest of my birth chart to help me not come off so light and dark at the same time.
Anyway, she was a lesson for me. Scorpio always has the longest threads and people cant seem to figure them out.
I always think its simple. If you let me, I am going to love you and be loyal to you until I die. If you shit on me and hurt me I will be gone. Its not that complicated. Other signs will go the gamut with you, Scorpio cant do it.
Just remember, Scorpio is the last sign in the zodiac that you need to feel sorry for. They are over it.
This dark water runs deep and we are not fit for everyone so cut your losses and go have fun with a Gemini. If you act crazy, (they will still talk to you and leave you with hope) they will still probably invite you over to the party they are having for 75-150 of their closest Sag and Aqua friends. No matter what happens, everyone will forgive it tomorrow. You cant go wrong with a group that doesn’t take anything personal.
I recognise all this as truth but not the letting go thing – having counselled many in later life they still carrying the emotional scars of resentment and bitterness from being hurt. Which were most definitely affecting their current relationships. I find this especially of Moon in Scorpio and if there’s a Leo square in there from a personal planet even more so.
It’s not about feeling sorry that’s an insult. Being empathetic and sensitive to someone bottling up repressed rage that is eating them up (often unacknowledged for years) is what I’m talking about.
What a difference a day makes. Taking things personal is okay, because all things have limits. You have quite an objective view on you.
soup- <3 <3 <3
For me the policy of forgiveness requires an extreme amount of power, self-control and self-awareness – one that not many people are capable of. When one forgives in his heart, not necessarily in public, there is an exquisite feeling of letting go and peace that is achieved. But forgiveness implies to also put yourself at risk to be hit again with the same hammer – and when you will be hit the second time what will you do? For me, I couldn’t take the hits anymore so I cut the relationship and the person. But when I cut that person I also acknowledged how influential she was for me – the punishment fit the profound feelings I had for her. When I cut her off, I cut off future hits from happening, not my feelings, not regrets and sorrows that already exist, If I had forgiven her and continued to accept a form of relationship with her maybe her influence would have faded in time – but I didn’t have the power to enroll on that carousel, I am not strong enough.
So, it’s hard to cut off and it’s risky to forgive. If you cut people off regularly you risk dying alone, if you forgive regularly you risk losing your mind. We each pick our poison.
Your last paragraph is astute. All of it, really. Thanks for your observations.
To me, not forgiving is a form of continued rejection, of the person, the behavior.
It was wrong and that’s my judgement. It’s a healthy boundary.
I don’t see it as the burden so many seem to see it as. It’s not eating me alive; it’s actually clean, honest and indifferent.
If you ask the average person if they should forgive, most would say it’s more emotionally healthy to do so, without examining if that’s actually the case.
A certain medicine can make one person sick and another person healthy. Scorps have their reasons, and are living in harmony with their beliefs.
As a person who has been on both sides of the situation I’ve seen both sides of the coin. I’ve seen people who are unforgiving not realize their own wrongdoings in their life yet withhold forgiveness towards others, then complain when they’re not forgiven. And the other side, I’ve seen the offender keep hitting the offended in the face, with a bat or a hammer. The offender then expects the offended to bow down to them in submission and kiss their feet. Doesn’t sound very remorseful, does it?
My Mercury in Libra is showing. 🙂
JoFrance, you said it best and most succinctly on Dec 12 reply! Once the trust is gone…never the same. Only amputation relieves the hurt. It’s not about vengeance, of which Scorpio is often accused. It’s about protection because the pain really runs deep.
I don’t know what it is or why, but I do NOT like Scorpios. I am a fellow water sign (Cancer), too. And I even have a Neptune in Scorpio. But there are three prominent signs that I cannot deny have brought on so much conflict & have tried to destroy my life: Aries, Scorpio and Capricorn. Needless to say, these last few years have been God awful with the three outer planets transiting them.
Thanks Eva…that was real nice of you. Such a nice broad statement about a whole group of people who had little say in the day they were born. A few people throw you for a loop and you hate us all.
You say you don’t know what, or why…then go on to say three signs have tried to destroy your life.
You’ve never given me a chance. But you don’t like me because of the day I was born. How open minded of you.
Don’t put words in my mouth Soup; I never used the word ‘hate’. I do not ‘like’ them & I am entitled to my own opinion based on my personal & astrological experiences. Those particular signs wouldn’t get the nasty & bad rap of being aggressive, competitive & underhanded astrologically described, if it weren’t true.
Eva I think it’s way too broad an assessment not not like someone because of a Sun Sign as we all know people are so multi layered but I hear that those energies haven’t been kind to you in the past and you’re expressing a hurt both with the people exhibiting such and the transits from those energies as well have certainly been harsh for many the Pluto – Uranus square. I have felt their full force too, however I don’t think of it as blame.
The level of sarcasm wasn’t very pleasant Soup. It’s easy to express frustration or such without resorting to that really. We all are part of a forum and community of Elsas and whilst it’s not my role as moderator it’s nice if views can be expressed in a more straightforward clean way.
Damn I just realised my Mars in Libra was triggered there! I like most Scorpios but I can’t say all those energies have been kind to me either.
There’s truthfully good and bad eggs in all signs, it’s just the Sun!! I often find a woman’s moon demonstrates stronger than her sun sign. We are all unique and complex!
Scorpi(onic) men I love but they’ve often been the source of my downfall…my South Nide is in Scorpio I I found myself playing out the same karmic game/story over and over until I caught myself and no more!
soup does not have to be “pleasant”. I just ask that people do not personally attack each other. Both women were expressing their feelings, which they’re welcome to do. How else can we come to understand how others feel?
Sorry it’s your forum of course Elsa
Expression of Feelings are fine, no one has to be nicey or false I just found the dripping sarcasm very unpleasant to be honest – that’s how I feel
And now I feel told off tbh
That was not my intention!
I’d just like to prevent a break over nothing! It’s Christmas!
It was none of my business to moderate I wasn’t actually trying to do that as such… I just felt uncomfortable in the tone between the two although I was hearing both sides so I just waded in and probably made it worse! (Slap)
No worries on this end either! 🙂
Aggressive and competitive I will agree with Eva. Although I don’t think either of those things are bad things if used properly. They kept my children in food and clothes when I was a single mother and has kept me working since I was 14 years old. Underhanded …not a day in my life. I stand against underhanded people daily…and openly.
I also agree Cap and Aries can be aggressive but I see all three signs as more work-a-holic types. I can hang with aggressive and competitive. I like a good race. And I really like a lot of Cap and Aries people. Even when they give me a run for my money. I like em!
There are underhanded folks in every walk of life.
Two of my life long Cancer friends are sleeping with married men right now. That is how I describe underhanded.
But I don’t believe all Cancer women would do the same.
That was all I was trying to say.
Aqua usually hates me. But I completely understand that. And, I don’t lose a nights sleep over it. And I also know Scorpio isn’t for everyone. I have said that here a thousand times. I would describe Scorpio as WAY too intense for a large majority…..
I feel blessed to have 4th house Scorpio, a beautiful Taurus moon and a yummy Cancer ascendant to soften it all up.
My beautiful granddaughter is an Aries sun, Aries asc with a Scorpio moon! She is the grand dame of my HEART! She is little, but she is going to be an amazing woman. I cant wait to see what she does with all her magical powers! 😉
Back to topic…. Unforgiving Scorpio – What’s In It For Them?
Kudos als…. leogirl <3 <3 <3
In my experience it’s people who claim to be forgiving that hold the most grudges and resentment. We Scorpios are gutsy enough to cut the cord and send you packing because we won’t pretend to be cool with you for the sake of keeping a false peace, extending an already dead relationship . Brutal we may be but we are real. Once that trust is gone it’s over. Rest in peace
It’s because the more ‘angelic’ and ‘perfect’ people, misty, repress all that anger and bitterness for years and decades. So when they’re wronged or offended years later they explode, realizing that they’re human and that it’s impossible to like/love everyone. I’m sure even the Dalai Lama has people he would love to slap.
you can forgive, but you can NEVER go back. which is cutting the cord. However, not forgiving is kind of just holding it in forever and ever, and allowing it to fester.
I agree, you can never go back if the hurt is deep enough
What you can do is (if you want to!) re establish a different bond 🙂
I’ve done this with a few people in my life, we have pretty good relationships now, they are not the same as they were and never will be but I think we are both glad we put the effort in
I find it saddening that there seems to be a feeling that forgiveness is fake or impossible or that it’s just some sweet veneer for repressed anger and resentment
Sure all of that exists but I really believe the journey of forgiveness can be enormously beneficial for people – it’s often an alone journey, forgiving doesn’t mean taking poor treatment back into your sphere of life
Possibly it is the so many different interpretations of what forgiveness really means that makes me see this cynicism around it?
It is entirely possible to forgive and have quiet content and peace with what has happened
One of the most beautiful books I have read on forgiveness is “If you sit very still” long story short this women lost her sister to a very famous serial killer, this is her journey and what she now does with victims and their families is truly amazing
I myself have been through a (much less harrowing!) journey and although this person will never have the same relationship with me nor I with him, I’m glad we did it – We both feel an enormous sense of peace and I’ve had repeated things that could have triggered me since but I’ve changed – so has he. He is a Scorpio…I was obviously worth it ha ha
To me that is the nature of Scorpio
It’s about transformation
I do believe in real forgiveness and real letting go of venom. I was just expressing another side or aspect of the subject of forgiveness. Yes, there is lots of real forgiveness out in the world but I was also pointing out that there are some people who think they have let something go (not necessarily forgive) yet put on an outer image of being at least peaceful or calm, yet inside they are still angry, that’s all.
A lot of passive aggressive behaviour stems from this plus there’s culturally in the west been a huge movement towards that “smile or die” positive psychology style which ultimately does not address deep anger issues. Spiritual bypass I believe it’s called 🙂
Stellium in scorpion here sun, mercury, uranus, ascendant, north node with a beautiful pisces moon, so much day dreaming. I can forgive if the apology is heart felt by me. Scorpios are pretty good healers. Anger out burst is an issues because of those people out there living their life blaming, back stabbing, never heard or know the meaning of loyalty. If we people trust you we love to protect you even if the world is against you because we live our life like that. Not a lot of friends even if there are not everyone has the access. Scorpios loves to feel the pleasure and pain. I am in a life long pain because my heart fallen in the wrong hands.
I don’t get it!!! DON’T DO ANYTHING TO MAKE ME CUT YOU OFF OR RESULT IN YOU BEGGING FOR FOREGIVENESS! You know very darn well the reason why I have cut you off.
As MOST people know, we (Scorpios) are very loyal (almost to a fault) and will give you the shirt off of our backs … so why in the name of all that is good, would ANYONE take that for granted and test the waters of my unforgiving spirit???
Exactly! People like to play dumb and we don’t have the time. If you don’t have integrity than stay away from us. Walking away is us being nice. We could really tell you about yourself and leave you in tears. But the evolved Scorpios can see when someone just is not ready for the truth and we will simply rise above and move on.
Soup – please don’t feel the need to explain why we (Scorpios) are the way we are … it is a natural reaction; people don’t like what they don’t understand. It is well documented that Scorpios are also apt to being geniuses (HIGHLY INTELLIGENT), so why would they understand us?
As you put it earlier Soup, if a Scorpio has walked away from you, stop begging for forgiveness; wipe your conscience (because begging for forgiveness is a sign of guilt); then look in the mirror and TRULY ask yourself: “Did I really think that I could commit such an offense to a true friend / lover / family member without going undetected by them”??? You may even fit in the category of asking yourself: “Why would I ever make the mistake of biting the hand that feeds me; go through the trenches for / with me and then expect that person (Scorpio) to continue to entertain my foolery?
You see Soup – I don’t even argue with those that even try to make me feel guilty for cutting someone that has wronged me off! I sleep VERY GOOD at night because I have NEVER (and never will) mistreated anyone. So when I do decide to “amputate” someone from my life, I do so and sleep very sound.
One last comment:
I recently had a co-worker “blind-side” me by throwing me so far under the bus that I could have lost my job had an audit client not been within earshot to witness my co-worker’s poor decision to try and put me in my place.
To make a long story short, when the truth came out and we both had to stand in front of our boss to recount what happened, she finally broke down in tears (literally) and asked me to forgive her; her exact words were: “I can’t leave this room without knowing that you forgive me”. Without hesitation and in my most calm, cool, and collective voice I responded: “Absolutely not”. My (our) boss was so shocked that he asked me to repeat what I just said; so I repeated it and stated that I could not be true to myself by saying that I forgive her because she does not mean it, will do it again, and only sorry because the client was a witness to her poor behavior; and had the client not been within earshot, I would be standing in the unemployment line. My boss then proceeds to tell me that by not forgiving her, I am not being a team player. I remained silent and unmoved at his comment because at the end of the day, I have been known to carry my entire team on my back (I’m and Auditor) when I’m left in the office working on average 12 hours per day (another trait of Scorpios – hard workers!). He knows this and knew it would serve him to back down as well as I am one of those that he has been able to count on and help put food on his and his family’s table!
Forgiveness is complex. I understand why people have hurt me; they are flawed, they are human, they get jealous, they disrespect you, maybe even abuse you and treat you as though you were a think. I can understand the why, I can see the humanity, but why would I re-enter a cage with a dangerous large cat? Why would I want to be re-connected to people who do not have empathy and respect for me and my feelings? I can understand people’s limitations and all too flawed humanity, but there is also self-care and self-preservation. I almost cut off from a long-time friend last year. We are talking again, but I have told her that whereas I do want her in my life, I can never trust her again and will not be as open as I used to be. She has admitted to having problems with lying and manipulation. I can feel that she does love me and we all need to be and feel loved. My lesson here is to learn to accept her limitations and “work” around them. My mother, though is another story, I am cut-off from her voluntarily. I appreciate all the wonderful things she did for me, but she went too far with hurtful things. She apologized many times, but continued to hurt me. A person just gets tired. I wish her well, I pray for her, but I just don’t want to be around her anymore. She is an energy vampire! I have had other friends who have been energy vampires and have let them go as well. Good friendships/relationships are based on mutuality and reciprocity.
:-), “treat you as if you were a think.” interesting slip, maybe scorpios are only thoughts to some people, not real, breathing, feeling individuals? Still, I meant thing.
I always put up with way too much for way too long from unkind people who were sometimes nice because I was raised by one and she was a frightening bully. Through amputating, I set the final boundary. You want to act out, expect to get kicked out. I have no regrets about anyone I’ve ejected from my life for being a manipulative controlling asshole. And they never saw it coming from me. Goodbye and good luck.
I got amputated by a Scorpio woman fairly recently. I know she did it over self-preservation. She just couldn’t bring herself to discuss it with me in the end and just let me go.
Trust is very important as a scorpio stellium it’s like i give you a loaded gun and paint my back with a bullseye tempting isn’t it no one wll find out you shot the bullseye. Except that’s what you thought so tell me again why should i forgive the person who shot me or betray my trust. Can you just just shoot a person on the back and if his still alive do you think saying sorry will remove the bullet and pain? Nothing you do can change the fact that you shot or betray the trust NOTHING.