I was talking to a regular client, he’s a young man in his early 20’s. We have an excellent rapport and we’re uncommonly candid with each other.
He ended the week badly and wound up taking it out on his girlfriend. He thought she should have been willing to take some crap for him, considering what he’d been through.
I agreed to an extent. She agreed as well. In reality, this girl was kind and considerate. She listened to him, she sided with him, and she was patient. She went above and beyond to do everything a partner could possibly do to be sensitive and supportive. Eventually, she lost her temper.
“First you have to apologize,” I said.
“Don’t you think she should..,” he said.
We went back and forth for awhile; finally I confronted him. “Look. You could have treated her differently. You had a choice. You could have been a lot nicer. If you were visiting your parents, instead of her, you’d not have put them through this.”
“No, you’re right,” he said. He’s a Sagittarius. He knows the truth when he hears it and he’ll cop.
“You’d have not have acted like an ass with your brother either, so you do have a choice. You made a choice to torment her and know you’re wrong. She did everything she could and you put her through this…because you know you can get away with it. Do you know what I call that? That’s entitled.”
“Yeah, that’ll work. So call her up right away and apologize. And don’t talk to her about how she should put up with you. She DID put up with you. You’ve already had that conversation so don’t go over it again, boring everyone. Just tell her, she was good to you and you were bad to her and you’re sorry…”
Why do we hurt the ones we love?