Someone emailed me to ask who the soldier is. This happens once a month at least so I guess I ought to write something concise I can just refer people to. Also this will demonstrate how Uranus transits work.
It was Stephen Arroyo who wrote years ago that while things move quickly under Uranus transit. People think you are crazy and so forth, but in reality the changes that come very suddenly were seeded years prior. It’s the kind of transit where the battered wife up who has put up with abuse for years up and leaves her husband. She just walks out one day. She gets herself free and the people who know her are stunned. They don’t know what is going on and it is not important to her to tell them. All that matters to her is that she be liberated from the situation at long last. So in this case…
I met the soldier when I was 17 and he was 19 and we fell madly in love. We ran together for 3 years and enjoyed a freakish level of compatibility in between our fights and break ups. The Thing On The Other Side Of The World That Changed Our Lives happened (and various other sundries) and we wound up not marrying which is something we both feel at this point was an egregious mistake. He went off to join special forces, become the best soldier in the world and so forth. I went off to live my life.
I started writing online in 2000 and first wrote about the soldier in 2001. I wrote about him as if he were dead which I have assumed he was my whole life. Late in 2003 I googled him to confirm this. I thought I might find record of his death but instead I found him alive so I emailed. Pluto was station on my Sun at the time… a man back from the dead.
He immediately started telling me all his Special Forces stories and he didn’t mess around. He completely unloaded over the course of a few months, the Pluto transit and all. He worked up to confiding what he considered the worst thing he had ever done, his potential “mortal sin” and you 12 steppers out there might equate this to the fourth step.
I took it as such and just let him talk… this took a couple months, maybe three and at the end of that time there was about a week of lull before I (abruptly) cut off contact with him in a way that was necessary but traumatic to both of us. What I did is block his email without warning or specific explanation, obviously for very good reason.
From there I went on the meet the AMF. I spent the next three years with him and loved him very much. I had no contact with the soldier whatsoever. Pissed off, I had closed the book.
Meantime he did what he does. He thought and felt deeply. He went to church and prayed. He did all sorts of penance on the chance he did in fact commit a mortal sin (I don’t think so). He suffered gobs of angst, writhed around, questioned everything and applied his entire heart and soul in taking any and all action humanly possible to solve the problems that dogged him.
Getting the stories out had a profound effect as you may imagine. He had never told anyone before and with this stuff released there was opportunity for healing and he took it. When he contacted me at the end of 2006 there was perceptible change the way it happens on the other side of a “dark night of the soul”.
I was glad to hear from him and we committed at this time to maintain some sort of contact for the rest of our lives. He asked that if I wanted or needed to be out of communication with him that I warn him rather than pull the plug the way I did and I agreed to this. As brutal as is what I did may sound, it really was necessary. We both knew that while I did the deed we were both responsible so we decided to not create circumstances that would make it necessary to do it again and we had a contingency plan if they arose. That is, I would tell him first.
The AMF and I separated in November of 2006 and in February of 2007, I started writing The Soldier and P having no idea it would turn into such an epic story, never mind what has happened since.
We are just being sewn together, I don’t know what else to say. After awhile you stop questioning as it becomes more and more obvious it is bigger than both of us.
So that’s who the soldier is and this as you can see the first rumblings of what happened during my Uranus transit occurred 7 years ago… 1/12 of a Uranus cycle of 84 years, no surprise there.
Thanks for sharing the story with us! I am ALWAYS amazed when someone asks who the soldier is. What are they doing? Reading two sentences of one post then immediately contacting you for clarity? LOL
That was great to read. I think maybe you are helping to sew yourselves together by telling these stories. Just weaving yourselves right into the tale.
Ow, this hurts me to think of you two NOT together! Some people go through great pain having not tell their stories (thinking of the Soldier). I’m glad you’ve pulled through together and are here.
This synopsis was just great – I had pieced together the basic plot and timeline from many posts but didn’t have the whole story.
I suspect that your reader e-mails are akin to someone showing up late for a movie and annoying everyone by whispering, “Who’s he? What’s going on?” And they wouldn’t bother to ask, you know, if the movie wasn’t so damned GOOD. 🙂
LOL, what Avery said.
HEY! You guys… It was *very* confusing when I came in. tho I didn’t even ask who the soldier was, I just knew she meant her anthromorphized Mars. (Well she was talking about both at the same time, and it makes perfect sense to me to talk to an archetype). Give me credit for my imagination at least!
Okay I am smoothing out my back fur now… 🙂
Grace you are not the only one. Er… but now I have to go look up “anthromorphized”. Cripes you 3rd house types! 😉
LOL, I may have meant anthromorphisized (third house sometimes a little quick to use terms even if not sure of spelling or pronunciation! And sometimes think we’ve read books if we’ve read the table of contents, ha ha.).
OK I forgot the “po”. I knew it was something.
I thought it meant how one communicated with pets and animals like they were real (human) in some way. I think you make an extremely interesting statement Grace.
Grace that’s is sooooo true about books/3rd House. Hilarious! I think Geminis would understand this, too 😉
Becca, I love your presence. Truly true true
This Gemini might resemble those 3rd house table of contents = read the whole damn book comments.
*laughs and hides her dictionary behind her back*
I have a very dear Gemini friend who once said to me “Sometimes you read just to practice reading…it’s not like you have to remember anything except to exercise the big muscle.”
It kind of makes sense!
a ha Lupa! …or just enjoying it for being stimulated in the moment…
No, I’m a quadruple Gemini and I have to read the whole book! No skimming through the table of contents–that would be like dissing the author! (okay, I work in publishing so I’m a little biased). What do you call it when you attribute human qualities to a book? Is it wonrg for me to want to sleep with books? Nothing serious, just a little fondling of the covers…
wrong, not wonrg…
“i liked the story of the soldier dangling his leg infront of your son and calling out like he was belle.”
Yeah, that was one of the funniest things I ever saw in my life… my son thought so too. He liked being needled, I think it runs in the family.
etre amoureux le livre
thanks for filling in the blanks.
i liked the story of the soldier dangling his leg infront of your son and calling out like he was belle.
I am interested in your ‘pull the plug’ strategy. Reading over the years it seems that it’s a strategy that you have used (have had to use) more than once, sometimes with more drastic results than others. (In fact in a mild case you used it on me – I wrote you an email in which a joke I made was offensive, and you unsubscribed from my blog without telling me I had offended you! I had no idea!). I do not think I would be capable of leaving a situation without explanation. I do leave situations in a ‘no looking back’ manner, but only after outlining why. I need to communicate. I was wondering, is it energy conservation- or is there another reason why you pull the plug so abruptly?
anna–def. not wrong. thanks for the laugh!
Anna – not wrong, but very very wonrg – so I’m relieved you cleared that up.
What do the Italians say? Bella, Belisimo! Best romance story I’ve heard in a while.
yours is one of the best epic love stories I ever read.
gives much hope.
thank you and god bless you both <3
Painful and beautiful. Only in my dreams…