Who Feels Synastry The Most?

When someone’s planets fall in your houses in synastry, do you as the house person feel it more or does the planet person feel it more? Or do we both equally feel it?

For example, my ex had his sun, moon, and mercury (libra) all in my 12H. Boyyy I felt that! Do you think it’s mutual? I did not have any planets in his 12H. My sun and Venus were in his 11H.

Just wanted to know your thoughts about who feels what. Thank you!
—B from Portland, Maine, USA

Hi, B. Here’s the “math” on this:

One person has the chart, the other has the planets.
The person with the chart has the areas of life indicated by each house. The person with the planets energize the house where they land.

Case in point, you could feel your 12th house all over the place, with this other person’s planets activating that house (for good or ill).

Now did that person feel something, with this particular overlay? Perhaps.

Let’s say I have a bunch of planets that land in someone’s 8th house. I might know or sense that I disturb them but I would not be disturbed in the same way they were.

Broadly speaking, you can see the house as the receiver and the planets to be the male end of this?  Your house is empty and then someone fills it with their planets – you will know this. They can know they are supplying energy that is affecting you but the feelings are not equivalent and in fact, the person affecting you can be completely oblivious.

A good example of this is when people has wild reactions to strangers on the Internet. They’re activated by the other person’s energy when the person supplying the trigger doesn’t even know they exist.

The picture is meant to illustrate this. You’re the main road… the other person is entering your stream.

Who Feels Synastry The Most? — 7 Comments

1. Great question! Excellent interpretation of this. Elsa, putting it down in a way I can understand every single time. Grateful for this blog.

2. My Sag Saturn activated an ex-boyfriend’s overloaded Sag stellium in his 9H. We morphed into a parent-child relationship with me feeling like a nagging, Debbie-Downer, wet blanket!

• Ugh. I hate situations like that.

3. Elsa, have you written before about Synastry when one person’s planet hits in the stellium of the other person? I have two such, one for me and the same for him. IOW, or really its his MC hits my stellium 2 degrees from my ascendant, but is exact my North Node, Jupiter, Neptune). While my Mars hits his stellium (north node is only 1/2 degree from my Mars, and less than 1-2 degrees from my Venus, Chiron and Sun) in his first house of Capricorn too. We both were very aware of the very strong chemistry but our timing was off it seems due to a big transition he was going through. Or, “this chemistry” was perhaps too much for us. 😂🤷🏼‍♀️ Time will tell.

4. I had a situation where the others Saturn was in my 12th house(in Scorpio). I felt like he was very fatherly subconsciously, and I rebelled when he’d scold me. It was always a humorous situation though, like an old radio program of a couple who made the audience laugh at their antics. My Venus was opp his Moon and my Moon in his 4th house (Virgo). His Moon was in my 8th (Cancer) and he said I reminded him of a family member who had died (creepy right?). I thought he felt lovingly towards me, but he didn’t, not in the way I had hoped. He may had even seen me as an adversary later on, as we ended up in a struggle and he was going back to someone he loved before he dropped her to explore his options with me. It hurt but I can now look at the Synastry more objectively. And we haven’t communicated in 10 years!

5. Thanks for posting this. I had a coworker (different dept) who I never once spoke to who drove me nuts merely by existing. After months of this, I found their bday online and did a chart. Their sun was exact on my descendant and their planets filled my 8th and 12th. I actually felt sorry for the person as they must have sensed the weirdness/intensity from me. When they quit I was relieved but then I missed them!