I was about 25. My house needed painting so I had a painting party. My friends came over to help me paint and this guy I had just started dating also came over to help as well.
My friends didn’t like the guy at all. I couldn’t tell you exactly why. One of the men caught my eye and made a thumbs down gesture in regards to my date – his back was turned. I was shocked and embarrassed. He later told me that he didn’t like him the least little bit. He also said that he was not the right kind of man for me.
The man’s failing was mentioned but the complaint was vague. He was new to the area, having moved from Los Angeles. He had progressive taste in music and my group did not. This guy (and presumably his wife, etc.) did not like his guy’s taste. They also didn’t like the (nice) clothing he wore to come paint a house.
These are not things I’d have noticed about a person, or judged, but their disapproval of his “New Wave-ness” had a big effect on me. I have Venus square Neptune and can be easily undermined at times. (see – Whose Values Are These?) The was especially true when I was younger.
This is the only time this ever happened to me, but I still cringe when I think of it. I tend to choose men with a lot of charisma, so people who meet them, like them.
Have you ever been in my position in this story? Have you been the disapproving person, or been the new person who was not making the grade? How did you respond?