When You Suffer A Loss That Cannot Be Denied

One of the most memorable clients was a gal who signed on for one of my first astrology classes. She was in her mid-late 30’s as I recall.  The class was focused on love and relationships. She sent her chart along with an outline of her relationship history. It was breathtaking and spectacular.

One after another, she outlined her love affairs with men larger than life… fantastic men, epic men, great looking men, genius men, creative men who were totally devoted to her. Her speech was dramatic. The men all had eyes that twinkled and winkled and did some other fine tricks especially when looking at her. She and her beau were always the best and brightest in every room they ever graced… and then at the end of each story there was a big ol’ alas.

But alas, he was a drunk.
But alas, he had to leave the country.
But alas, his mother got involved.

Besides being inflated, the story had Neptune written all over it so of course I pointed this out. Boy oh boy did I hit a nerve.

I don’t regret pointing it out as it was my job to do so. But this gal was truly convinced she was headed towards a dream wedding. All she could see was that she was stupendous. What she absolutely could not see is that all her relationships had failed and she was pushing forty years old.

She was in the mindset that things could do nothing but get better. She had friends telling her how terrific she was so when I came up with a contrary opinion, it wasn’t very popular.

In fact she kicked off a behind-the-scenes smear campaign that was not to be believed. I probably cured her because mad or otherwise, I bet she went right out there and married SOMEONE just to prove I was wrong. Anything but have the veil drop, see?

There is a point you get to in life where you realize things don’t always come out well. There is such a thing as loss and situations that are unsolvable.

As an example, on our honeymoon my husband and I visited his his best friend’s grave. He died in his 30’s. I was standing there looking at the plaque in the military cemetery and thinking how young he was.

When you’re in your 30’s and someone dies in their 30’s, you might think they’ve lived a life but 20 years later it looks a very different. He was young man when he died and how do you resolve that? Do you say, “Well he was in special forces?” What does that do for you? Anything?

Back to the woman I referenced, she was someone who had never had a loss. She’d just never lost anything significant enough to register.

Recently I had a client who lost both his parents in a very short span of time. Do you think he can resolve this? How?

We go on with our lives and perhaps have the skills to come up from the ashes but the idea things all come out well and tied neat with a bow is a myth. It’s not that you have to be haunted by your loss on a daily basis but you can rely on this much, it will always come back.

Have you suffered a loss impossible to deny or resolve?

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Comments

When You Suffer A Loss That Cannot Be Denied — 72 Comments

  1. Ouch. I am one of those people! I have Neptune on top of my mercury, mars and moon in Scorpio in the third. While my 5 sisters were literally trying to kill me during my entire childhood, and ruin my life in adulthood, when I would speak of them to others I would pick out their most socially acceptable achievement to describe them. I still desperately wanted to be accepted by them when they hated my guts. I still find it impossible to be confrontational with them. Telling them the truth is still just responded to with ridicule, scorn, and more abuse. I personally think that getting through this life without letting them get me down will be a mighty accomplishment!

    • As soon as I wrote this, I came upon a Paul Selig video where he says “The true (divine)self cannot be persecuted”. Basically I could choose to spend my life as a victim to my horrible family, to life(because I am unable or unwilling to dignify their assaults), or walk away holding onto the higher truth that I myself am above it all. Hey! I personally don’t like to hear people sniveling over their supposed problems, so I do try not to subject others to mine!

    • October 11, 1961, 2:32am, San Jose, CA, if you wish to check it out. I am sure there is a whole boatload of stuff there. My Dad was the only one who protected me from the snarling pack, and he was very Catholic, and he pushed me to turn the other cheek and to follow the Church. It served me in good stead.

      • Jayne: We JUST had an eclipse at 4 degrees Aquarius on the 27th of July! That’s funny! And almost everyone in my family was Scorpio or born on the 11th of another month.

  2. In the tao te ching the teacher states that even the bravest soldier cannot master his own death. He then says nothing fails like success. That having nothing makes a man the richest in the world. I think more specifically not “needing” anything. That is the true master of loss…one who knows they were born with nothing and go back to nothing. Every tiny gesture is a temporary gift. No matter how far we expand we will always contract back into the source and become nothing. Our time here is borrowed. How beautiful life would be if more people understood this and treated their time here as the precious gift that it is 🙂

  3. Yes, I have lost a lot of dear ones. At this point, the hardest one was losing my stepfather in 1987 to a heart attack. Before this, I was a teen who didn’t think about death until the night that he passed. I learned a hard lesson that life is cruel and no one really cares what happens to you because life goes on while your world is falling apart.

    A Neptune veil helps some get through the ugliest parts of life, but it seems nowadays that the last vestiges of an illusion that things will be fine is being torn away.

    I have been bothered lately by someone telling me that dogs do not get into heaven because they have no soul. I can’t help but think about how a dog is the most loyal creature that loves a person no matter what and to think that they aren’t allowed into heaven is troubling to me. A relative who had a death experience saw heaven and said there were no dogs and she told us all about this and she recently passed on for real. It’s weird and may make no sense to anyone else, but it is like a bubble has burst and all seems pointless and hopeless right now.

    A person NEEDS some sort of hope or belief to keep going in this game of life and to burst all the *illusions/delusions* is just cruel.

    • All dogs go to heaven! If that relative didn’t see them, they didn’t matter to her. Since that matters to you, you will be met by all the wonderful pets you have ever loved! Dogs do have souls! I think they have a different number of chakras than us, but that doesn’t matter. AND BTW: those little “illusions/delusions” are glimpses of our higher self and God does exist. They just take us away from the baseness of real life and back to our original grandeur on the other side! God dwells within us as us, so the only limit to our life is ourselves. The only limit to our Heaven is our beliefs. Allow yourself to believe in what makes you happy! There is a God!

      • Thank you. I know that God exists, I have no problem with that, it just felt as if things that I have believed in were just delusions that are being ripped to shreds. I needed the pep talk. 🙂

  4. I have read all of the beautiful comments and so glad I took the time. It’s funny that until you mentioned the lack of loss I was thinking the opposite. I thought the poor gal had built up a life in her head that was not totally real. This reminded me so much of my roommate in college. She had so much loss and dysfunction early in life that she made up an alternative reality. She would fall in love with the perfect boy and then there would be a crazy reason they weren’t together. She is in her mid 40’s now and doesn’t accept reality. Being the critical virgo I am I have tried to give her a few doses of reality but she turns it back around and doesn’t speak to me for a few years and then comes back with all forgotten.

  5. I remember when I was in elementary school, my grandfather died. He was old (50-60s), but he had a sudden heart attack. His widow is still alive and healthy today. She’s over 80. We went to his funeral. I cried so much, and I barely knew him. Everyone remembers him fondly. He was a very gentle and nice man, I knew him for less than 3 years, and he was gone. He was my favorite relative. I always looked forward just to seeing him. He was the only nice one. I realized anyone could drop dead at any moment. I wondered who else would die in the next 10-20 years. Would a lot of people die? Which relative would drop dead? Would my parents die next? Did anyone I go to school with experience this, too? How could other people feel happy again after having people die? How do people get over such a thing? And if I moved on and forgot about him, would this be okay? My husband lost a friend to a drunk driver. She was very loved. She was only a teenager. Every time we leave each other, we exchange caring words because you never know what might happen.

  6. My first, huge, truly significant loss happened shortly after my First Saturn Return. I walked through life in a zombie state for a good year. It took me at least a good decade to finally “leave it behind”. It was gradual, but one day I realized I was no longer dragging the ball and chain. I was free.

    My most recent huge, truly significant loss happened recently, post-Second Saturn Return. I am not handling it as badly as I would have expected. It is perhaps still too fresh for me to be able to tell whether it’s because I am still in shock (a self-protective device) or whether I have truly, deeply changed (I think I have).

    Elsa wrote somewhere about people who fear some potentially difficult transit looming in the distant future. She said, basically, when we get there, we will no longer be the person we are today, so we will not deal with it or be affected by it in the same manner as if it happened today.

    I think this is exactly what is happening with me and my current loss. So much has happened to me in the intervening decades that everything about this loss and how I am reacting / acting is different.

    There is no denying the impact of any and all of my losses, throughout my entire life. The acuteness fades, the charge lessens, but the impact always remain, at some visceral level.

  7. Life Is But A Dream Of Dreams.

    People are Sleeping Beauty in a Crystal ⚰️Coffin. Dreaming is the only thing they’ve got.

    Read again.

    So they’ll ?hate? you if you come knight in shinning armor waking them up from their slumber. They may even kill you or gladly send you to your death. That’s what that Sleeping Beauty princess client of yours, Elsa, actually tried to do, she tried to finish you cos you threatened her dream — a smearing campaign is but character assassination, it’s shooting down someone’s reputation and livelihood, and as a result it can lead to suicide. Most monarchies were brought down by conspiracies that started with defamation campaigns and ended with the physical killing of the royals.

    The Hindu Call It Maya.

    From Wikipedia, Maya is “the powerful force that creates the cosmic illusion that the phenomenal world is real.” In this nondualist school, Maya is the source of ignorance which causes the finite, empirical ego to be mistaken for the infinite Self (Ātman). (…) In Buddhist philosophy, Māyā is invoked as one of twenty subsidiary unwholesome mental factors, responsible for deceit or concealment about the nature of things.

    All That We See Or Seem Is But A Dream Within A Dream — Edgar Alan Poe

    When someone, anyone, is in deep sleep and an abrupt noise wakes them up they get really ?angry?. I remember when I was younger and that happened to me I’d turn into an ugly ?angry? beast that, sometimes, felt ‘I could kill’ whomever or whatever had woken me up, sometimes I’d be crazy out of my mind.

    Do you know anyone who’s not pursuing a dream? What about m€dica£ drugs, recreational drugs, ??Alcohol??, videogames, ?Sex?, gambling, FB, InstaGram, reading books, watching movies, religion, radical (adrenaline) sports, fitness, foodies, watching the news — all kinds of addictions?

    Who doesn’t want to live a dream, be it the American Dream or the pursuing of One’s dreams type thing?! It’s the only thing they got.

    It’s the only thing they got. ??

    And they’ll do anything to stay in that dreaming state. Even run??‍♀️? to a precipice, to their ☠️Death⚰️. Or kill.

    Very dangerous business telling the ✨Truth?? is!

    Everyone on this page mourning the loss of someone is but mourning the death of a dream: 1) their dream, that included this or that person, or animal companion who are to most like their children, and 2) the dreams of the deceased.

    It’s Just An Illusion — Imagination

    Could it be it’s all just an illusion? If life is Maya, isn’t ☠️Death⚰️ also an illusion?

    Leave The Dream

    I suggest to everyone who’s sick and tired of living delusional, that they start leaving the illusion by researching, studying, *realizing*, cos the knowledge is out there for grabs, for instance 100s of 1000s of NDEs out there on the internet.

    What’s a NDE? Look it up you lazy bum, am I your slave?!

    This is the End Time, the end of the dream. Wakey wakey!

    • For the record, as I wrote this (Dec 16, 2021), ?Venus was stationing over •Pluto in ☠️Capricorn a week prior to the exact Uranus in ?Taurus?♉️ square to ?$ATUrn? in ♒️Aquarius. The ☀️Sun☀️ is squaring Neptune plus ☄️Mars and the ?Moon are in a T-Square with Jupiter in ♒️Aquarius. Jupiter and Neptune/Morpheus are co-rulers of ????Pisces?, the dream sign, and ♒️Aquarius is change. ?

      In 13 days time Jupiter will leave ♒️Aquarius to its domain ????Pisces? — will Humanity fall into an even deeper slumber, pursue delusional ideals or through SPIRITuality wake up even more? Will there be a widening of the chasm between the ones waking up, becoming even more awakened, and those wanting to stay in the dream, diving deeper into their slumber?

      I landed on this page from the Dealing With This Crisis page.

      Gratitude.

    • This was interesting to read. Thanks.

      I agree people are chasing a dream but why? They’re programmed to do this? Strongly encouraged. But unaware.

      Unaware of being unaware but anyone who thinks they aren’t in the same condition in some area of their life is kidding themselves.

  8. Thankyou for your stories of sorrow I feel so close to you all Shared experiences help. A kind of unification of wounded hearts.
    I had 3 yrs when it seemed everyone around me simply dropped dead Here today, gone tomorrow kinda energy. No time to grieve one before another dropped dead
    Mars in Aries in 12th house The rug constantly pulled from beneath my wobbling feet.
    I survived Now I’m left with a constant dread that another loved one will simply drop dead.
    Here today, gone tomorrow.
    I wake most every morning in dread. This is the feeling I find hard to handle. If someone is sick you get to say goodbye. If they suddenly disappear from your life you are left in the lurch! Perhaps it helps believing in life after death. Perhaps one day the dread will lessen Perhaps it never will & that has to be ok

    • Tamayra, I feel to ask what’s •Pluto doing?

      It sounds like you should find a good Multidimensional Healer but not even remotely suggesting I could do that. Just saying that there are people out there, serious professionals, that could help you investigate as to the whys and hows of all that. You’ll have to go alternative. I’ve read about QHHT and Theta Healing, I use different tools but maybe serious professionals using those tools may help.

      All the best and happy festivities!

  9. Thanks Miguel
    You are right The feeling of ‘dread’ is now top of the pile for clearing
    I didn’t realise that was the next layer in my healing process till I wrote the comment
    An added benefit of sharing 🙂

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