“Have you seen this before?” I asked, satori, quite stupidly as it turned out. “I mean you’ve been around me. Is this a pattern?”
She laughed. “Hell yes, I’ve seen it before.”
“What happens?”
“People show up, tell you how great you are and next thing you know they’re shredding you and making their exit, telling you you’re a piece of shit.”
“Then what happens?”
“They’re either gone for good or they come back and act like nothing happened.”
“Hmm,” I said. “Then I guess I should not be too upset about this latest. I am glad you’re hear to tell me this is usual. It’s easy to get bewildered. Remember that girl who sent me the cookies? She sent me those, Elsa’s Cookies and the next thing I knew she hated me and I mean, venom. I would have a hard time explaining this. It is almost impossible to explain especially when it happens every day of your life.”
Who can relate?
I have seen this happen to you on here it is strange. Maybe they have these “expectations” on how you should behave towards them??? Don’t know hmm……….possibly bi-polar???lol
I always wondered where the veil lays, if it covers the people with Venus Neptune or the eyes of those who look at them… and I tend to think that it covers the eyes, because when it drops, it drops in front of their noses and not at your feet. What do you think?
It happened (and still happening) to me a lot and it taught me to be careful of expectations.. I always state that I’m not perfect and that I got flaws.. especially to those that think I’m SOO great!! It scares me because other people’s opinion of me really affects me.. a bit less now but it still hurt when I deceive people! The scariest for me is people that like me SOOOO fast and intensely… !! SCARY!!
Happens to me all the time at work. Most recently one of the kennel workers was telling me in front of my daughter how I was his favorite and how much he liked me. She said “that won’t last”. She’s seen so many of them turn on a dime when I ask them to do their j.o.b. This guy actually left the shop in tears because I told him that his complaints about a teenager were annoying the shit out of me. He’s 28. Seriously! Time to grow up!! He cried to the boss about how I could have been more compassionate. I’m sorry but my compassion doesn’t extend toward people who would bash a good teen staff member to the other coworkers. What about compassion for her?
Sorry… little rant there. So I was saying yes. They love me best of all and then they hate me more than anyone they’ve ever worked with. In this case he now avoids me by staying in the kennel with the dogs as per the requirements of his position. *win* And doesn’t speak to me ever ever. *double win*
Yeah it happens to me too. It sucks because you never really end up trusting people because you think sooner or later they are going to go all apeshit on you. I have analyzed this to death and I can’t figure it out. Venus square Neptune
Why do people expect you to be one way when they don’t even know you?
I’m not talking just to you Elsa, but also to people who have alot of Pisces/Neptune/12th house influences.
Conny – I wrote you a blog.
Toni cause they can’t see the real you. I have Neptune on the Ascendent as well as venus square neptune. Sometimes you just feel like one of those crazy mimes on the street that people walk past oblivious.
“It happened (and still happening) to me a lot and it taught me to be careful of expectations.. I always state that I’m not perfect and that I got flaws.. especially to those that think I’m SOO great!!”
I use a similar tactic, Sweethiez. I am very careful not to mislead people. I don’t tell people I have manners or polish I don’t possess. Matter of fact, I go as far as to cultivate an image as a badass son of a bitch… which I am.
But I am also incredibly sensitive, kind, generous, loving and supportive but fact is I present this the first time I raise my voice, or speak freely all parties faint or die so it is the people who know me or work with me one on one who know this about me.
I did have someone who knows me well tell me yesterday that I was the best person in the world you could know and I sort of know what she means. So for all the swirling, there is a solid core there and I mean SOLID.
I think maybe it happens because these kinds of people want to freeze you into a one dimensional picture of what gives them pleasure, or bolster something needy within.
When you shatter the illusion, because you are human and multidimensional, they react like a child throwing a tantrum when their favorite toy is taken away.
Maybe they use the experience to self reflect, or maybe they don’t. Regardless I think that you are last on the list of their self reflection, and that is a selfish petty way of growing.
I remember many years ago asking my dad why people did this or that, and having him reply, well you have broad shoulders so I guess they think you can handle it. I more or less handled it yeah, but it takes its toll and it sucks bigtime.
Here are some sayings I believe in totally.. Time will tell.. Waiting for the other shoe to drop.. and when I am told something just a little too wonderful or just off in some way.. Back that fucking bus up a minute..
These have worked damn well for me LOL and if it makes me cynical well tough shit 😉
You deal with this shit on a massive scale. I can’t really say anything that makes any difference or can comfort, but a lot of us do care, Elsa!
Thanks togi.
“… fact is I present this the first time I raise my voice, or speak freely all parties faint or die …”
I’ve always wondered what this was when it happened to me. All I know is that it felt like I was being told I couldn’t be the real me because it was wrong (Sun-Saturn self-worth issues *snort*). I’ve realized that part of the reason is that I am powerful and strong and potent and intense, and it’s not my fault that it’s in inconspicuous packaging or that people who want to gloss over it whenever they can.
So, yeah… Venus-Neptune (sextile), Sun-Neptune (trine), and Pisces MC. I’m all light and illusion, don’tcha know? Just beware the undertow. 😉
i thought that was normal. for people to get upset when the veil drops. or their projections came up against too many contradictions from my actual reality.
but i’m not as open with sharing myself with the world as some. maybe too sensitive to rejection. maybe i’m an introvert who is more concerned with the inner world than trying to bounce it off of other people (how extroverts often do their thinking)
(it just happens from time to time. maybe people like imagining things about some people more than others…. i don’t know…)
Venus trine Neptune–venus is in the 4th and Neptune in 12th.
This is a phenomena that happens to me almost exclusively on the home/family front. Telling my family I don’t believe in certain Christian things, for example…what a brouhaha. But i got sick of the assumption i felt/believed the same way.
The veil does drop with my friends but with Uranus in my 11th they get used to me surprising them, and that seems to extend to ‘veils’ too.
They want something from you. And when they don’t get it then they want to annihilate you.
Basically, where there are two mature people involved, you have the ability to give something without an expectation of getting something back. You have reasonable expectations,and you give, not because you expect something back, but because you wish to support. End of story. There are no strings attached.
So they are in a game of their own making, where only they know the rules but they still expect you to play it. And when you don’t or can’t, well…
“They want something from you. And when they don’t get it then they want to annihilate you.”
and
“So they are in a game of their own making, where only they know the rules but they still expect you to play it.”
opal – I recognize this. I call it masturbating. That’s another thing said or thought behind the scenes. “There is nothing I can do about this guys masturbating. I am not screwing that son of a bitch…”
Just because someone wants to fuck with me does not obligate me and they do go crazy when you ignore them but they set it up that way.
I mean you just can’t show up on someone’s lawn and start diddlin’ yourself and expect them to join in.
“Maybe they use the experience to self reflect, or maybe they don’t. Regardless I think that you are last on the list of their self reflection, and that is a selfish petty way of growing.”
I also recognize this, Daemoness and call it the same thing, masturbation. I have never seen it as selfish but now that you say so, I agree.
Oh yuck. I hadn’t thought of it that way. But you’re right. Eeeuw.
Well those are the words I use. “I wish they’d go fuck themselves elsewhere.”
~~
“How is it going, P?”
“Someone is fucking themselves on my blog but other then that, no problems.” 😉
ROFL !!!!
Every time I see these stories, and then “who can relate”, I think to myself “nope, everyone loves me”.
Honestly, I’ve got so much Neptune that people are constantly idolizing me and telling me how awesome I am. I’m not kidding. If I didn’t have those certain aspects (Chiron on the ascendant maybe or Pluto Moon square) giving me a self-confidence complex, I’d probably have a massive ego.
If they hate me, they don’t tell me, that’s for sure.
This kind of Neptune comes with different pressures though. It’s something else to be on everyone’s damned pedestal.
I’ve got Venus oppose Neptune, and yup, it has happened. It doesn’t have anything to do with them though, its all about us. Why we keep attracting these kinds of people. I’m better at it now in that i don’t just blindly trust people anymore. They have to earn it. So, in effect, its about us being more discering re: who we let in.
elsa your masturbation comment reminds me of something i asked you last winter…a person from work who claimed to be my friend yet had wilder expectations of me than i could handle
i showed you something she wrote “i was happy in a way to see you so upset because you seem to be impervious to the curveballs of life”
your response was that she was practicing her writing skills, masturbating and i was watching. and wow was it true.
i guess that’s why on the other thread about friends i said ‘if you are collecting a dossier on me, keep it to yourself.’
it’s another form of the veil/expectations and it actually hurts immensely when it drops. not like ‘oh woe is me you hurt me’ but just a keen realization you’re not seen.
This post and everyone’s responses clarifies that hunch I had that this has been happening to me so yeah, I can definitely relate.
Hear, hear, I see this happen to you on the blog all the time like you say, and I sure as heck believe it’s happening to you everywhere else, too. Your coping strategy is pretty intelligent (and funny). I am SO Venus-Neptune and I don’t perceive that this ever, ever happens to me… I’m considering the frightening possibility that my head is so far in the clouds that I don’t notice when it happens.
“I’m considering the frightening possibility that my head is so far in the clouds that I don’t notice when it happens”
Me too Jessica…
I mean you just can’t show up on someone’s lawn and start diddlin’ yourself and expect them to join in.
I <3 your Mars Mercury Elsa. 😀