There are people who tend to love/hate the people they interact with. I also think there are people who others tend to love and hate. I’m one of them! I would say at least 80% of my relationships take this form.
My friend, Ben tipped me to this decades ago. He told that the degree that people liked me was dependent on how comfortable they were in their own un-comfort zone (tag – un-comfort). I asked him to clarify.
He explained that I challenged people. I made them uncomfortable. “While I like this, not everyone does,” he added.
I was disturbed by, at the time. I have Libra and I want to get along with people. I want to be congenial.
I also have Capricorn. I’m sensitive to rejection and prone to feeling flawed anyway. For me, this was like finding out I had this cloud of farts around me, at all time.
Eventually, I realized there was nothing I could do about it. This is my energy! We’re talking about my essence. I would essentially have to cut my head off to alter this. It’s something I exude.
Many years have passes since then. Writing this blog as exposed to me many people around the world and I have seen this pattern constellate, over and over. I’d be okay. I’d be wonderful, if only fill-in-the-blank.
“You’d be beautiful, if only you’d lose some weight.”
A person who says something like that is mad because you don’t fit their ideal. I’m sure there are people who have heard that over and over, throughout their life. People want to love a person, but something is wrong… so they dump a bucket of pus on them.
What does this help, anyway? Does anyone derive a benefit? You’re disappointed in the person and what does the pus you toss on them, achieve?
On the upside, there are people who are not at all prone to feeling love/hate for a person. My husband is like this.
“What do you think when you hear love/hate?” I asked.
“Fruit of the loom,” he responded. He’s a Taurus, he keeps it simple.
Do you often have ambivalent feelings about others? Where do you think they come from? Did one or both of your parents love, but hate you?