My friend, Ben came up with the term, un-comfort”, twenty years ago. (see tag) He said I put people in their “un-comfort” zone. They either liked me or they didn’t, based on how comfortable they were, being uncomfortable. It was a revelation at the time. Now it’s understood.
Lately, I’ve been in my own un-comfort zone. I hate to think I have, “RTC”. That’s “resistance to change” in my husband’s vernacular. I’m pretty mutable but there are some areas where I’m rigid. I’ve been stuck in one of these bubbles over the last couple weeks. It’s been excruciating. If I can’t do what I’ve always done, it means I have no idea what to do instead. That’s scary.
Yesterday, I had a client. She’s got to rethink her approach to romantic relationships if she wants to create a new scenario in her life. She’s got to dump the whole hard drive and start fresh.
This is easier said than done. Come on, now. Who wants to dump all their stuff – really dump their patterns of relating to that they’re unrecoverable…and head off some totally unknown and untested direction?
That’s where she is. I see I’m in the same situation.
If I stay here, I will do nothing but sink. Well guess what? I’m claustrophobic. The last thing I want is to be enveloped in some kind of quicksand because I stood around like some kind of dumb cow instead of moving out while I had the change.
So that’s what this post is. This blog is going to be different now. See if you can spot the change.
Ha ha ha, that’s my Mars Mercury conjunction, challenging you.
Pluto is direct now. What should dump off the back of your truck? And once you do, where are you heading?
Thank you Elsa…much appreciated and relevant (for me, anyway) as always.
I’m still in dumb cow mode but have had signs that change is about to come, a door is about to open. It might be more internal than external. Maybe. I have FAITH that a door will open and I will have the courage to take it. Until then, I move forward slowly and compassionately!
No one has a right to darken my faith therefore I reject any attempts. Just not an option anymore to dally with cynicism about it. That’s my Pluto direct message.
As soon as I logged on I noticed you changed the font. 🙂 Will have to think about what I need to dump. I’m pretty mutable too and welcome change. 🙂
No, that’s due to changing out the caching plugin on the site, in order to fix recent problems.
This is a deep, serious change, that most won’t pick up on.
The more my life becomes clear of people I know aren’t good for me, as attached as I may have once been, the more room I have not for joy, than to at least proceed with less of an acute burden. It’s that old fliparound- either you break the pattern or the pattern breaks you.
Yay, Pluto direct! Tr Pluto has been transiting my Cap-ruled 12th House. Talk about doing psychological demolition work! Specifically, I’ve been repeatedly relearning the dance of healthy, interpersonal relationships as Tr Pluto has also been quincunxing my 7th H Leo Uranus/asteroid “Jayne.” Private counseling (Tr Venus in my 9H Scorpio) and a church-led relationship group (Tr Mars in my 11H Sag) have been life changing, happy experiences (Tr Jupiter in Libra is conjunct 8H natal Sun).
Just like your client, I’m dumping everything I know about love relationships, which has caused me to dump my shitty self-esteem (yay!), which has caused me to dump the heavy majority of thoughts I have about myself…I’m dumping almost everything I know. Embracing my own sound philosophies I’ve always been hypocrtically skeptical of. I’ve been prodding around trying to get a glimpse of the future because the uncertainty is making me so uncomfortable…to the point I am under the weather today. Could be my 8th house Pisces moon but I love fantasy, magick, etc. Last night I had a bit of a break through, a simple one but so essential, thinking about why I love these things. Because they magically appear with roller coaster stomach swirls and sparkles! Micromanaging my magic show is like telling the child in me (who I’m reconnecting with) that there’s going to a rabbit in the hat before I even get to the show. Boring! Not to mention I would go insane knowing pieces of the future. When will the rabbit show up, what color is it, is there a sign before it comes, how long will it be around. Welp. Here goes nothing! I’m diving into the uncomfortable unknown because my dump truck is empty as can be.
I’m dead. Regenerating, and in a ton of pain. I’m saying I’m ready to totally destroy my attachments and begin anew. Feel like I’m processing pain for people in my life in addition to my own. It feels like such a deep shift at the core and I’m afraid that I will take a completely new tack/direction. What makes me uncomfortable? Change. Letting go of my attachments. Having to be balanced about anything that goes wrong instead of falling apart. But here I am, so uncomfortable, so in pain that I’m at a breakthrough. That I am prepared to let everything go that I’ve held onto so strongly. Changes in my self worth. I’m a natal second house pluto and I felt pluto direct immediately. Just been drilling, drilling in my house of self worth although pluto in capricorn is transiting my fourth.
I’m RTC as well. Mars in Taurus. I’m passionate about comfort and once I get there, I resistant to leaving it. I spent my entire childhood with the upheaval of Pluto transiting in the 4th so if you can imagine why? But I’ve got to make some uncomfortable decisions in the next year about my entire life and charting a whole new course. Uranus is hitting my 10th next year and I’m feeling it! Where I’m at currently in life and mind– the toxic decay is showing, the cracks are growing wider, and the stink of stagnation is filling up the rooms to high heaven. It’s been done and now it’s time to go forward. But like you– into what? I don’t know. Eek… I’m not a spring chicken now. I hope Uranus inspires positive change.
I’m ready. I’m not even scared anymore. My pattern since I was a teenager is to project, put a man on a pedestal and live in the depths of a Billie Holiday song. Oh baby I can’t live/breathe/sing without you. Sure I can. Getting my shit together starting new job seeking my own place. I love my boyfriend but if our relationship fails I’ll be fine. I’ve got my eye on that ever shiny ever elusive prize. Agency.
You can do it.. it’s worth it I think
I am going to dump all my expectations I had of me moving overseas and “adapting”, because it has been 3 and a half years and it has gotten me nowhere. I am not sure how far I will take it, as far as moving back or at least back to the USA. But I do know that I am over giving a flip whether anybody likes me. I am over ever getting a job, because the people are so darn difficult. I can barely get out and exercise because people are always saying it’s dangerous to do everything! Plus the simple pool etiquette I learned 38 years ago in college apparently hasn’t made it’s way here, and that is disappointing.
I have decided to be happy with myself no matter what, and especially I have decided not to repress what made me happy at home and my successes at home.
It’s time for me to dump the identity I’ve held onto for the last 16 years. To forget my former workplace, mode of doing things there, and move on. Enough already. Most of them forgot about me already.
Bein RTC doesn’t mean change won’t happen. That’s one thing I learned. And you better do it yourself because when life decides you were stuck at one place for too long, you won’t like the way it will un-stuck you. So better do it on your own terms.
Yep, got fired after 16 years. That’s a pretty obvious boot in the ass!
I’m not very RTC these days. I consider life to be a constantly changing place and our job to be to continuously adapt to those changes. It wasn’t always that way with five planets in fixed signs and a fixed ascendant. But twenty five years of hard transits will break down that resistance.
I’m really scanning my life trying to think if there’s anything I should be changing but I can’t see it. If there is something then it’s not raising its head at the moment!
I’m slightly concerned that with no major hard transits from the outers over the next 25 years – nothing is ever going to need to change again. That would be lovely if I had the lifestyle I spent the past years trying to create. Am going to have to hope the soft transits help it get there.
I am going through this in my career. I made what felt like a big change last year around this time, turns out I just made an adjustment and NOW I have to change …. completely change fields …. I tried to go backwards and just couldn’t do it. Saturn is in my first house, looks like I may return to what I tried to do duting my Saturn return but returned to the old pattern. It’s scary but evidently there is no going back and I really want to do well with Saturn’s lessons. Have I mentioned that big change like this is scary 🙂
Dumb cow – perfect description. I wonder if we all don’t have an inner dumb cow? Or even a whole herd!
Seems like life is a series of hopefully progressive recognitions of inner dumb cowness, eventually followed by a courageous trembling dainty step – or leap – into a new world. Dumb cow to gracefull gazelle? And back again to dumb cow…