Sometimes I feel pretty good about myself. Other times, ugh. This week’s transits have hit my chart hard. The Pluto station has been quite incredible.
There have been a lot of distractions as well. Attacks (from hackers) come and go behind the scenes. The site is quite well protected but occasionally there will be a wave. This stuff is not personal. Just your basic Russian, Chinese, Pakistani hackers trying to gain access to the backend of the site for reasons I don’t even try to imagine.
I’m also adjusting to my husband being home and more succinctly, to his schedule. It’s not that far off mine, but I am not used to preparing three meals a day, seven days a week. Luckily, I enjoy this. I just have to set an alarm now, rather than wake up on my own, thirty minutes later – it’s jarring until I can get used to it. And when I get used to it, his schedule will change anyway, so….
This stuff aside, I also have a social schedule of sorts. I joined a committee for one thing. So I went to the first meeting and it went really well. I know this for sure, because several people made a point of telling me how much they enjoyed my being there. Fresh perspective.
I did have odd ideas and managed to be funny in places. However, this did not stop me from going home and feeling repulsive for several days afterward.
Hey! I know there is no reason. I told, satori, “They liked me. I am sure of it, but all I could think is that they must have lousy taste in people…”
I know this is crazy. I also know I am not the first person to feel this way, nor will I be the last.
In reality, it is nice to have new blood in a group.
In reality, I was in a car accident today, but I am okay.
In reality, I am on top my workshop.
In reality, the backend of my blog wears iron underwear.
In reality, I have not one complaint about my life.
So what makes a person feel these things? Saturn Neptune – you suck for no discernible cause? Or is it Pluto, which at times thinks everyone and everything is crawling with bugs.
Either way, these things are remote from a group of people sitting around a table on a committee, enjoying interacting. Luckily the worst seems to have passed.