People read things around here that make them uncomfortable and get angry with me, or disappointed. It got me wondering, who is actually responsible when a person feels uncomfortable? I asked my husband what he thought.
My husband said the only thing that tends to makes him feel uncomfortable is when he has to put on a suit for a job interview or something like that. I thought this was funny, he’s a Taurus. But it grew my interest in this topic.
The topic is Saturn-in-Scorpio flavored in that Saturn = responsibility and Scorpio deals with un-comfort.
What kind of things make you feel uncomfortable? Who is responsible for these feelings when they arise?
Nobody but YOURSELF!!!!
My fears make me feel uncomfortable, but I own my Sh*t! Even if it’s ugly and dirty.
The thing is that not everyone can handle what a person says, it’s not your fault, even if other people try to make you feel bad.
The people who are going to accept you for who you are are the ones who can handle your degree of depth and intensity. The ones who are below the level I just mentioned are probably a bit too concerned about niceties.
Astrologically speaking, who would be excessively concerned about niceties (people with a Libra or Pisces stellium?).
I think there are some things you should be uncomfortable with! Abuse, discrimination, unsafe conditions, etc., &c. *smiles*
That being said, though, if I’m triggered by something not reasonably uncomfortable, that’s my problem to deal with.
What am I uncomfortable with right now? Feeling like I don’t measure up, and that’s been a thing for years now…
I’m uncomfortable with people fighting around me, insulting one another and knocking one another over – I think most of us with Libra are.
Ironically, this is largely due my parents, both Libras, fighting non-stop around me all my childhood (and later)
People have no right whatsoever to complain about feeling uncomfortable on someone else’s blog. That’s like me choosing to go to a boxing match for which I have free tickets, and complaining about two guys fighting.
When someone oversteps boundaries that they know are not socially acceptable but do it anyway, they are responsible. It’s a tricky question when it comes to the media because the newscasters, etc.They are in a position of responsibility. Newscasters say they are just reporting the news, but they are also responsible for the content they choose to broadcast. If they choose to report dissension and discord, that’s what will be reflected in kind in the world. One affects the other, they are not separate. Ultimately, we are all responsible for how we feel.
That ‘uncomfortable’ feeling is actually a gift. It has a purpose… it illuminates something within oneself a ‘sore spot’, an aspect of ourselves that is ready to break through, to resolve in some way.
I sympathize with those that are quick to blame ‘the trigger’ rather than look within, I’ve done so myself before. I later went back and thanked the person though, once I processed it and realized what a gift it was that they provided me.
Watching guys who can’t dance but who think they’re actually awesome dancers dance makes me super uncomfortable. I’d like to blame them or at least blame the booze that somehow magically transforms their dance skills, but really I know I am the only one to blame. I believe that our reactions are 100% on us. I don’t think anyone else has the power to force us to feel a certain way.
I am uncomfortable with people bragging about their sex lives. I’m also uncomfortable around people humiliating their spouse, people who humiliate themselves when they are drunk, watching people trip.
I hate watching people trip, especially. And watching people dig around in their pants to pull out their wedgie. Awkward!
I don’t ever even really think about who is responsible for how I feel. I figure I can think and feel whatever I want, and the responsibility I take is what words leave my mouth.
I believe one self is responsible. And I mean that in the full context. If I am uncomfortable because I am being followed on a dark street at night and am alone,it is me who is having those feelings and I should listen to them in case there is danger. If someone teases me and I am offended and hurt, they have hit a soft trigger point and I am just going to lick my wounds. They did not know how deeply it may have gone. All in all though, I agree with a lot of what has been said above. What makes me uncomfortable? If I am in a discussion and someone says Why can’t you talk about it? “I just can’t” and they keep pushing, I start to feel uncomfortable. If people around me start to act unstable, I feel very uncomfortable. And if I am being bullied or made an example of in front of others, I am VERY uncomfortable. My feelings make me want to have responsibility towards myself and try to understand why I drew that to myself. And I wonder how people can be such A=holes!..lol
I’m extremely uncomfortable with people tearing others down, mocking or deriding them…Can’t abide it.
Certainly these are my own feelings to manage, I’m pretty clear they stem from my own experience as the scapegoat and easy mark. Having first hand experience, I’m prone to intercede.
Thinking on it, I’m probably doing it as much for that past-me as for the present target. “Here you go. Here’s that person taking your part and calling out bullshit. A couple decades late–but here nonetheless”.
We are totally responsible for our feelings and our reactions. When we have no control of the environment or the situation, we must ascertain why we are uncomfortable and act accordingly. We can speak up, and/or remove ourselves from the area or the arena. Self preservation is inherent, self reliance is golden. My moon is Scorpio and Saturn my ruler. Profound, to say the least. Transits are exciting.
I agree with BP about Libras’ discomfort with fighting. Hence I avoid most hot topics if I can. No one holds a gun to my head and forces me to respond to any thread on here.
Same for the blog. If a topic feels dark and unpleasant, or steps on my toes, I back off. I night think about for awhile, turn it over like a stone.
That said, sometimes discomfort is good. I once listened to a young preacher who was VERY direct in his sermon, and a lot of people complained that he stepped on their toes. Me? I was THRILLED. I LIKED his no-nonsense approach.
I am uncomfortable when people complain to me without offering a solution or suggestion to help. I feel frustrated because I feel like it’s easy to complain but not very useful or productive. My current job is kind of like being I am uncomfortable when people complain to me without offering a solution or suggestion to help. I feel frustrated because I feel like it’s easy to complain but not very useful or productive. My current job is kind of like being Head of the Complaint Department, so, yeah, I get a lot of complaints, and a lot of the time I feel like people are not really interested in taking the time/effort to be part of a solution. So, engaging with them is kind of a time waster for me.
As far as blame, the question is not an either/or for me. I mean, I could blame the complainers, or I could blame myself for letting it get to me. In some grand courtroom of life, I can imagine myself assigning all sorts of blame, but in reality I find that most people cover themselves in defenses and counterattacks when they feel they are being blamed. I want them to see a connection between their behavior and how it affects others, but whether or not the person is willing to see their own fault is completely out of my control.
Eek, sorry for the bad copy/paste job in the first paragraph of my post!
My problem is intimacy. I’m a person who doesn’t care about what they have done in the past, in fact, their idiosyncrasies make them what they are. But, I don’t like to share my problems with people because people have a tendency to judge others based on what they have done. Also, I’m not the expressive. Capricorn trait.
Another thing that makes me uncomfortable? Being expected to feel upbeat and happy all the time. Sorry, but I don’t go for that kind of pressure. That’s one reason I enjoy coming here. I don’t HAVE to keep it positive all the time. Or negative. There’s a balance.
Me, I’m responsible and no body else is. And that discomfort is speaking something to myself anyway. Plus the discomfort may not be anything more than an assumption on part of that persons words or actions. And that’s where the quality of putting on the Dick Tracy hat and pulling out the magnifying glass to ask questions help in order to ease the discomfort and find out more.
I find assumptions to be a discomfort actually to my recent discovery. And I find it so because the person making the assumption doesn’t ask therefore they’re not listening going on what they think they know instead of what they could know. Last Saturn in Libra lesson for myself. But that discomfort for a few days has made me aware to ask questions instead of handing over MY discomfort where it doesn’t belong and hopefully vice versa for the other person involved.
When I read “What makes you uncomfortable?”, my mind translated that as “what ‘pushes your buttons’?” I just had a phone call at work from a stranger, whose tone of voice set off a gut reaction in me which I was surprised to feel. My co-workers laughed at me, because I rarely become rattled and was *furious* after this call.
These are definitely educable moments. When something or someone sets you off, you need to pay close attention to what happened and your own reaction. No one has the power to upset you.
(Mind you, I know that there is a fine line between “this upsets me because of my own baggage” and “this upsets me because this person is acting with unnecessary cruelty or disregard”. No one should think they have to put up with abuse, thinking that they brought it on themselves. No way.)
Scorpio rising, Moon and Venus in 8th, Neptune conjunct ascendant. I am uncomfortable with the superficial, though I hold “social niceties” in high regard. Otherwise, life would be a Jerry Springer show.
I do think, though, that the person speaking the uncomfortable thing ought to do their best to be sensitive. There is no virtue in saying “Tough shit if you don’t like it if I’m abrasive.” I think that’s pretty arrogant. I used to be that way, and sometimes I still do it, and it really stinks. Almost literally: it’s just not an admirable way to be.
There’s one thing to speak truth to a corrupt power or to rock a boat that needs rocking or to say “I love you, but you’re killing yourself with this negative behavior” — and there’s another thing to be said for speaking truth bluntly with little regard for the audience. Tact matters and it is kind in most scenarios. I don’t have any pity or admiration for a person if they are harsh and cruel and people feel unsafe around them. THAT is the speaker’s fault, I think. A person just saying “I disagree with you” “offending” someone is the hearer’s issue. I have been guilty myself of venting my inner turmoil at someone else’s expense: I just wanted to ease the pressure in my brain, so I blurt out my mind all over them and they get hurt. That’s shitty.
Pluto makes me uncomfortable. I’m uncomfortable when I act compulsive in love (Aries Venus opposite Libra Pluto and Saturn scorp). I feel shame and discomfort. I also feel uncomfortable with my feelings that ill be betrayed for my shameful actions (words). With Pluto in the 3rd.