What Does It Mean To Be “Kind-Hearted”?

I’m in the process of losing someone who has been a tremendous help and support to me over the last few years.  The loss is staggering.  The reason is because this person is truly kind-hearted.

He’s a lot of other things too.  Smart, studied, insightful. He carries with him, reams of information. He’s like a gigantic filing cabinet of knowledge and while this is rare to find, it’s his heart that floors me.  He simply cares about people – all people. Facing this loss has made me utterly aware of rare this quality is.

I’ve spoken with a number of people about this over the last couple weeks.  People help you, but they have an agenda. They want be seen helping. They do it to glorify themselves in some way. Everything is intended to reflect back on the individual or raise their profile in some way. This is very different than love and giving because you are simply a loving, giving person.

I’m not meaning to be impractical here. I know that people have things they have to do. They have jobs and families and all kinds of commitments. They can’t just be out there being do-gooders all day.  But there is still time to be kind, if you happen to be bent that way.

I’m sure about this because there is an old man who lives next door to us.  The other morning, I woke up and found him outside tilling our garden. By hand.  He saw this need and decided to fill it, even though I’m sure he was sore from tilling his own garden the day before. He’s a nice man; nothing more and nothing less

I’ve come to understand, the concept of a true kind heart and the actions one would take are utterly out of the realm of some people. For example, you do something or you give something and the person(s) observing you, make up a reason why you did the thing.  You did it to get attentions for example; or some kind of accolade.  But that’s not the reason a kind-hearted person is kind.

Recently, I was contacted by the woman who in my mind, really helped me launch this site back in 2005. It was called ElsaElsa – The Advice Blog back then. I used to ask people to link the site.  She was pretty much, the only person who responded.

It was crazy.  This one woman (a Gemini with a Scorpio moon), repeatedly took the time to help me and do you know she never asked me for even one thing in return?

She’s got a business herself now.  She’ doing great. It’s like it’s all come back to her.

Back on topic, what’s happened to straight up “kind-heartedness” in our world? Why is this so rare? People are true dicks, a lot of the time. They’re so harsh.

I don’t think this is going to get a person very far over time.  And don’t get me wrong. I know I am a cutting person. I know my speech; my way of communicating is sharp-edged.  But at the core of my being, I truly and quite completely want to do the right thing and the best thing and the most helpful thing, every day. Further, I’ve been this way since I was born.

It’s not say I don’t make mistakes or misjudge things. I make mistakes all the time.

To wrap this up, I’ve been telling people that while losing access to this man’s body of knowledge is painful, the loss is nothing when compared to being seeing a true kind-hearted person walk out the door.  Especially now, when our world and the people in it have become so calculating.

I want to add one thing. I look at this man’s chart and I can’t see his kind heart. He’s a Sagittarius with a Virgo moon. I could say this would make him open, generous and helpful but he could also be inflated and critical, yes?

You’ve got to choose who and what you’re going to be; and how you’re going to behave.

What does it mean to be kind-hearted? 

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What Does It Mean To Be “Kind-Hearted”? — 20 Comments

  1. “what’s happened to straight up “kind-heartedness” in our world? Why is this so rare? People are true dicks, a lot of the time. They’re so harsh.

    I don’t think this is going to get a person very far over time. And don’t get me wrong. I know I am a cutting person. I know my speech; my way of communicating is sharp-edged. But at the core of my being, I truly and quite completely want to do the right thing and the best thing and the most helpful thing, every day. Further, I’ve been this way since I was born.

    It’s not say I don’t make mistakes or misjudge things. I make mistakes all the time.”

    Gosh, very timely, I was thinking about this yesterday. I’m having to take a step back to recenter myself, because I know I have a problem in my communication style, and while I’ve been reminding myself that I know who I am, in being misunderstood lately, I’m being called to make changes. It seems like one misstep after another. I don’t know if I should continue to say what I’m called to say, or if I need to be quiet and observe more. I’m worried I’ll fail. I realized this morning that Uranus in Taurus is squaring my MC/Mars conjunction. I feel like this trial of mine is being broadcast. Even better reason to step back and be calm. I am filled with gratitude when someone sees me though. I’ve become friends with a man, and though I’m not dating right now, my mind reflexively went to relationship business. I don’t think he’s interested in me which is good because he’s so accepting of my communication style. He’s a Taurus and a hilariously cocky storyteller. We laugh and laugh. This is the first time when that’s been more than enough.

    Elsa, I’m truly sorry for your loss of this kind-heated person.

    • Ah,just vented, didn’t answer question.

      Like you, I think being kind is trying to do the right, most helpful thing. Also, like the man I mentioned above, I think kind-heartedness is shown in enjoying the people you meet as they are. Acceptance is kind-hearted.

  2. Kind hearted to me, is exactly like your definition Elsa. Its a generosity of spirit.

    I misjudge thing too, and have my own arrogance and ego and fears to constantly deal with on top of it. But Im definitely a person that is oriented on the service to others path. Theres no lack of Love in the Universe, so theres no reason to hoard it. In fact, when I give it, it expands in my life exponentially.

    Also, for some reason, someone being calculating doesnt bother me. My father is like that. Doesnt do anything without making sure that he gets something out of it. I feel compassion for him, because I just think it must be a crappy way to live.

  3. I know exactly what you mean. Growing up, we once had next door neighbors that exemplified this. This husband and wife at any time would come over without being asked and cut my mom’s grass, or clean her gutters, etc. just because they wanted to help, and also knew she was working full time and a single mother. It didn’t matter that they had an infant of their own. I think about them often and wish we hadn’t lost touch over the years after they moved because they were truly special, and now that I’m older I often wish I could return the favor somehow. They truly made an impression on me.

  4. True kindness is when the person (the helpful and kind person) sees other people as part of himself/herself.

    Doesn’t mean he lets a psychopath bulldoze him over, but it means he sees that everyone is human.

  5. I am kind hearted. Even when no one is watching. I’m also sensitive and love too deeply and when wounded, hurt too deeply. Mean people bully kin hearted people and see them as weak.

  6. This doesn’t surprise me – my brother is a Virgo Sun with Sagittarius moon, and he’s one of the most genuinely thoughtful people you’ll ever meet. Back in high school he was one of the popular kids, but he was absolutely kind to everyone, no matter what clique they belonged to, friends with everyone. You just don’t see that kind of thing very often.

  7. I thinknit means to cheerfully yet humbly fullfill a need, unseen or not caring about the outcome, that thevoutcome is not to benefit you. I have a Virgo/Pluto Moon conj and though in my 9th, I feel to do these types of things are my calling, they literally call to my heart – when I see a homeless person, I give. Not to be thanked-just to help. I have Merc in Sag i my first house, so I feel open minded. Though my moon is in Virgo, I try not to judge-though I can sometimes criticize (but more the haves than the have-nots) I know people are people and sometimes life is just cruel and people need a hand.
    It’s sweet Elsa that your neighbor tilled your garden. And I am sorry you lost the person you had so much suport with : (

  8. I have been generous but not kind. I think kind is pisces not virgo. Kind is empathizing with someone’s need and giving them that word or comfort that lifts them up… To support people and love them through the years.. to be soft.. I’m not these things..

    • Yeah… We gotta give the people what they need 🙂 and stick by them.. plus be nice to animals… I’m helpful but I wouldn’t say I’m kind.. I give when I can but not consistently or what necessarily the person would want

      • Also I feel like we virgo types get a little lift.. a little high.. from helping someone and it makes it moreish.. if we lose ourselves or perform under our potential.. an act of help can make us feel productive and at least we’re not all the way gone

  9. I’m one of the most kind-hearted people I know. A dangerous trait to have, especially during younger years, when you don’t know how to protect yourself from being taken advantage of. Moon in Virgo. I was quite stunned to read towards the end of the article that this guy has the same. I’m a 9th house Taurus sun. I think that the strongest element that makes me kind-hearted is strong empathy. I feel what others feel, so I want them to feel good. I can’t bear to watch any violence, not even in films, as it makes me feel physically ill. I love to see people thriving and being happy, that makes me feel great in turn. So, that’s my reward when I go out of my way to help out.

  10. I was watching a video of a speech made by krs one (one of my favorite philosophers and hes alive right now, which is amazing) and he was explaining how, when you compliment someone or lift them up in some way that it brings value to both of you. Ive found this to be true as well.

    I think its a natural outcome of percieving the world in the way that you would like to see it. And seeing people in the light that you want to see them. Its such a powerful thing, kindness is. It leaves noone out when expressed. Like I said before, if theres an end to the amount of Love in the universe, I havent found it. It just seems to grow and grow and grow and the more it grows, the more it grows. One of the most amazing discoveries of my life.

    I can only pray to be emptied of the selfishness that keeps that flow of love from moving through me and into my reality. And the discernment to know, how that kindness should be expressed. Because, everyone needs something different. The expression of one type of kindness does

    Because its the most natural thing, to be kind and loving. Its our original nature. Everything else is just fear and fear is an illusion. Love is the realest thing ever.

    • Thanks so much Dawn, this list is so well written! Point no 10 reminded me of another very interesting theory I’ve read.

      “10. Your relationship is all about win-win. In other words, the good-hearted person wants both of you to feel like winners at all times. There’s no need for either of you to feel like a loser in any way.”

      In Cipolla’s Theory of Stupidity, intelligence is defined as always aiming for both parties winning. Stupidity is defined as incurring damage/loss without winning anything yourself, and the stupid person is deemed more dangerous than the ‘bandit’ type (who hurts you but at least gains something himself). Cipolla sounds as if he’s describing kindness as intelligence, and malice as stupidity.


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