What Does A Man With Venus In Cancer Want?

Venus is the planet that rules what we intrinsically value in relationships as well as how we value ourselves. What does a man with Venus in Cancer want?

I want a girl….just like the girl…
that married dear old dad…..

Yeah, but that’s too cliche. And what if Mom was a bitch? Nobody does cranky like a Cancer, and when a man with Venus in Cancer had one of the snappy, broody mom-types, he does REALLY WELL with women who treat him like a child and boss him around. The trouble is, he will act like a child. Or worse… he will just be plain mean to all women, perpetually on the defensive.

However, if he had the “good mom”, then every single domestic thing you do for him is telling him you adore him, and that’s his love language. Make him soup when he’s sick? He’s yours. He is not prone to lavish demonstrations of excess (in other words, he can be tight with money) but if you’re a girl who doesn’t need splashy displays, he’s the best friend you’ll ever have going to antique malls and garage sales.

He will listen to your feelings. He will care about your feelings. You’ll swear he has a uterus. He is…. emotional and sentimental. He’s also really prone to being hurt, and if you’re mean, he’ll scuttle into his cave and you’ll rue the day, because he won’t forget how you hurt his feelings. He’ll remind you of it a year later. Water doesn’t forget. So if you value your sensitive, kind guy, you’ll take your snark somewhere else or at the very least make sure you start a rampage with “this is NOT about you” so he’ll go into sympathetic mode instead of having his claws up.

This is a loyal Venus. Once they’re at home with you, and you’ve got a routine going, they thrive. Don’t take him for granted, just because of this combination of the 2 most female signs in the zodiac. It would be easy to think he’s a sissy. He’s not.

Appreciate him for his ability to feel where others are devoid of emotion, and snuggle up. Try to put up with him bringing you breakfast in bed, you poor dear!

 

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What Does A Man With Venus In Cancer Want? — 27 Comments

  1. Nice.
    I’m a woman with Cancer Venus. So whenever I fall for a guy I start cooking and nurturing them like a big momma ๐Ÿ™‚ (completely unsexy). I do the same with my best friends and people I care about.

  2. I have this but i cant cook like your momma. I could barely cook before and now i ‘cook’ like your friend experimenting with raw veganism. I cook nothing like my momma because our bland ethnic food is not good for you.
    However, I buy people food and ‘feed’ people if i like them, i take them to restaurants i like and bring them stuff. This is fot friends.
    I dont like cooking for people. Because i cook weird and it’s too intimate and judgy. I dont like cooking to impress a man or cooking unhealthy cause then ill do it all the time.
    With guys im conditioned to.. not compliment them or give them stuff to keep them on the leash.

    I flirt terribly and awkwardly. I show how quirky i am and show a sense of humor meant to ‘neg’ the person.

  3. Cant get a handle on my Venus. Maybe its like Virgo cause i value my home being a place i can let go and be me. And since im kind of gross, feel like i have to be uptight and playact and um never go to the bathroom when theres a guy.

    When in a relationship, i can be angry or ‘salty’ in an amusing way that some guys like. Or feminine and clingy in the worse sense of the world. Very physical. It’s weird. And jealous. I often said ‘if you dont like it (me) theres the door.’ Defensively. But i only show this side of me when someone already likes me and were together. Not to seduce or something. My Venus self rarely works.
    As a friend im nice though i think. Fairly generous with money and food when i want to.

  4. Interested to see what you write about Leo in Venus as I’m nothing like the stereotypes. But then it’s in my 4H and this venus in cancer description rang quite a few bells.

    • My daughter has a 5H Leo Venus and asteroid Juno in Leo. Cindi Lauper’s “Girls Just Want To Have Fun” son immediately comes to mind. That’s her in a nutshell; party girl. Arghhhhh!

  5. My son has this. I can be broody and snappy at times but I think I’m a good mom. At least he tells me I am:) He does like being pampered and snuggling. He loves my meat loaf:) He is very sensitive. My mars is conjunct his moon in Scorpio too, so I have to be careful about my tone with him. I’ve hurt his feelings inadvertently. But he’s always been very forgiving and supportive of me. I think any woman who lands him will be very lucky:)

    • LN, I’m talking about the truly mean mom. I was married to a man who had Moon in Cancer, and he felt ignored by her (she had 5 kids, for God’s sake!) and he was just determined that every woman should pay. I think kids really respond to “mommy needs a time out” when you’re angry about something, that way they don’t think it’s about THEM. I have a son who has Sun, Mercury & Venus in Cancer and I used to use that phrase all the time.
      The “truly mean mom” has no mothering abilities. She puts herself first, and makes the kid be the caretaker. She uses emotional blackmail– that kind of thing. That is just pure hell on poor Cancer!!

      • No im not like that. I do get overwhelmed by his neediness sometimes, but I’ve learned to do what you do and make sure he knows it’s not personal when I need to recharge my batteries. He calls himself a mamas boy. He is sweet to girls and they like him too. But I think he will have a hard time finding one that will top me in his mind.

        On the other hand. My dad is a double cancer. Eek. Women issues in the extreme. Violent and abusive towards women. Very threatened by but attracted to powerful women. He was a guard at a women’s prison at one point. He told me that one of the prisoners told him he had issues with women. Hahahha. I laughed my ass off about that. The poetry of it. His mother was a manipulative alcoholic and he was the only boy in the family. I’m pretty sure he was spoiled but also manipulated a lot.

        I can see how cancer placements can go between the two extremes. And it all comes down to the relationship with the mother.

  6. My son has a 4H Cancer Venus along with asteroid Pallas Athena, Chiron, and Jupiter rounding out his Cancer stellium. His 9H Sagittarius Moon (conjunct my natal Sag Saturn) is in mutual reception with his Cancer Jupiter. Yes, he quietly suffered (Chiron) when our family broke up during the divorce. He happily (Jupiter) married to his childhood sweetheart (men with Cancer Venus’ tend to marry the “girl next door.” His wife lived two blocks from us and she’s a Sag Sun! They speak each other’s language with her ruling ((Sun)) the roost of course! lol.) who is one of the most organized women I know (Pallas Athena is knicknamed “Mrs. Saturn” so maybe, in a small way, my son did marry his mother!! lol.)! Bottom line, my son is a homebody who loves to cook. His 5H Leo Sun promises he’ll be a reliable, fun father.

  7. I have a Cancer Venus male in my life – he’s 67 and Mom is 93 – no one could top his mother in any category. She’s Italian and still cooks for him. He picks up his food every other week and raves! They laugh and argue, he’s her baby boy. Not being his wife I find it charming. His wife on the other hand, not so much. After 40+ years of not living in up to his ideal, years ago she took to her bed sick and lets him wait on her. Mom and wife stay in separate corners.

  8. I find this neil young quote very cancerian

    “Though my troubles are meaningless… that dont make them go away.”

    I think im in a morrissey style k hole (“and you go and you stand on your own, and you leave on your own, and you go home and you cry”) of not being wanted and the combination of touchiness and narcissism is making me obsess. I dont “go gently” into any good anything.

    Theres this meme of a hamster screaming “MOMMY! SOMEBODY IN THE INTERNET DOEN’T LIKE ME!” Quintessential other side of Cancerians.

    I dont think cancerians are all throw pillows and mama knows best and red sauce. Im sort of not. More Lena Dunham style. Perhaps it’s a flaw because her self caricature is self obsessed. And theres a lot i dont care about or cant devote my time to emotionally as much as little slights to my ego

  9. Many people have a lot of complaints about cancerian guys. About their being inscrutable and uncommunicative. In my life ive been able to ‘get into the flow’ with some.

    The comparing you to momma thing makes me angry even as a concept. Maybe thats why ive only dated air venus dudes. They can do the cooking, yo. Then it will be to their liking. Though air venus usually dont like my water side.

  10. I’m married to a Venus in Cancer guy. Every now and then he used to ask me to make meatloaf and mac and cheese for him (from scratch!) He loves banana pudding, too. He likes barbecue sauce or Duke’s mayonnaise on everything. And CHEESE!!!
    He’s trying to lose weight now–poor guy is a Taurus!!

    (On the emotional stuff, yeah…..if I’ve crossed a line with him or deeply upset him, he stops talking. Gets real quiet and sullen. That’s weird for a Mercury/Moon in Gemini. So that’s my sign to figure out what I did wrong.)

  11. pluto sextile that cancer is no sissy. but wow, the sulks!
    i can’t make food like his mother. but otherwise i’m a lot like her. she and i get along real well. ride a lot of the same wavelengths.
    and he’s amazingly sweet. way too easy to take for granted, especially since i’m so lost in my head often. he expects me to figure things out from hints and i’ve got that blunt aries stuff going on. so i slow down and pay attention and he becomes a little more direct and it works out….

  12. My Cancer husband (#2) has Venus in Cancer opposite Jupiter in Aquarius, with a Leo rising. His Sun, Moon and Uranus are conjunct in Cancer. Yes, he wants a gal like his dear old mom, but his mom had a stellium in Aquarius, including her Sun and Moon. So I’ve gotten the best of both worlds — a traditional Cancer man who does not seek to be babied and is used to, and likes, strong, unique women. And I know how to get him to stop sulking!

    Just to add: so much depends on the aspects with a Cancer male. Be sure there are no hard aspects to his Moon or Venus or he will make you pay for mom’s faults. (H #1)

    • @libra rising, so interesting with your cancer stellium husband and his mother. I saw a lot of mother and son relationships where the son finds a woman very similar to his mother.
      that is true about hard aspects to his moon. so it’s best to look at his upbringing with his mother and he isn’t hating her, resentful.

  13. Spot-on!
    Married for 25 years to a Venus (also Merc & Sun) in Cancer.
    Best friend, excellent listener, super supportive, very protective, appreciative and caring…much more good stuff…

    He is in awe of my homemaking skills, and thinks what I do is ‘magic’. I enjoy doing little extras like turning down the bed just right and displaying homemade food nicely on China. A few times he has suggested that there needs to be a smidgen more emotional stuff, as opposed to ‘doing’ so much. I’m Sag with Virgo Moon, so slowing down doesn’t come naturally for me. Luckily, he has been patient as I improve. Tho I feel Very appreciated, my small, loving acts of kindness don’t always equate to ‘love’ in others’ books, even tho that is one of my fav methods of showing love.

  14. Homestyle food and health food have such different qualities, one takes flavor from fat and meat and things like this, the other builds up a savory flavor profile with condiments.
    Sometimes i am very lucky to eat amazing diner food from this one place. The meals are always always balanced throughout. the pistachio pancakes are sweet rich floral and a bit salty from start to finish. The tortilla soup is earthy caramelized and crunchy. While they are pretty bad for you, they remind me of the quality i seek in the food i make at home. At a simplistic level, it’s what happens when asians classically combine soy sauce, vinegar, sugar and something else to dress simple vegetable dishes.
    I think the man palate or venus in cancer palate prefers rich ingredients and flavors without savoring any complexity. The virgo palate might go for something flavorful, but it can still be healthy.
    I tend to go for food thats either super consciously healthy like green smoothies and juices or more unhealthy and excessive than the guys at work could ever get on board with. I would have stereotyped men as having annoyingly conservative cravings for beef and mash.. A lot of cooking for men books madden me.. but these guys usually are more moderate and go for a chicken bowl. Or are on macro diets or have a simple sandwich. I ordered three expensive dishes from this place and picked at them… but really practically finished them cause the food is so good.
    But i have stress jupiter aspects and dont do moderation.

    I think Venus in cancer does see food as a sacred gift from one person to another. Sometimes i use it as a reprimand or imposition (i.e. you have to try this you dont even know youll like it! or.. this is how you should eat healthy :/ ). Or get overwhelmed when others give me food like it’s a weird burden. Theyre like ‘here take this’ and im like ‘i am the captain of my food ship!’ So. Weird.

  15. Does a gemini man with Venus in cancer act like that? Do you think he is loyal or not? How could I attract him also?

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