That’s my son. He’s seventeen now and about to start college. This is pretty much it, for me as a parent. I’ve tried to instill my values in him along the way. We talked about this, recently.
A few days later, I read something along the lines of how it’s better to use your ears as opposed to your eyes, when picking a partner. The combination of these encounters led me to realize, at the core of it, I don’t want anything to do with a person who lacks certain traits.
It’s pretty simple, really. I like a man who keeps his word. I don’t like liars. If you’re an unreliable liar, we’re just not going to be able to get along for long, in a significant way.
By that I mean, I’ll be happy to interact with you in passing. But we’re not getting married, that’s for sure. We’re not going beyond a nod or a hi/bye.
I realize there are times a person breaks their word or tells a lie for some reason. Hopefully you know what I mean. Occasions like this would be very rare. The basic character of a person has got to be solid.
Now compare that to your (and my) usual list. Dark hair…makes me laugh…intelligent…” A person can have all that, plus be rich and whatever else you can think of. None of that would matter it they lacked this core thing I value.
I give this to Jupiter and Saturn being part of my relationship profile. Jupiter is righteous, Saturn, serious about integrity. Bottom line, I’ll take an ugly man over a dodgy man.
I know this isn’t universal. For example, I know plenty of people who could care less how their partner makes the money, just make it! And I wouldn’t judge this. My interest is (always) in the individual and the deep truth.
Do you have a core thing that you value in others. Something that you’d not be able to compromise under any circumstance?